Who doesn’t wish for greater success and more money? These are
things that everyone wants. While witchcraft is by no means a cosmic cash station, you can use it to help bring opportunities and good fortune into your life.

Spells for success involve a good deal of commitment. A spell can
help you by providing opportunity, but it is still up to you to do the work that goes
along with success. When casting spells that will result in personal gain, it is very
important to remember the threefold law.

Everything that you put out, for good or bad, will return to you times
three. In these matters, you must always remember that if you are receiving
something, you must be prepared to give as well. You should also know the limits
of what you are willing to give. A new promotion may be your goal, but if it means
that you are not able to spend enough time with your family, you may find the price
is higher than you expected.

Spells for money can raise the same issues. While you may wish for a
sudden windfall, you would not necessarily want it at any personal cost. In these
matters, it is important to use a spell that attracts money and good fortune, rather
than forcing it. In this way, you protect yourself against a negative return.

Working With Witchcraft When Searching for Success

You may be looking for your first real job, trying to get a big
promotion after a number of years, or starting up your own business, and you are
looking for success. A spell to be successful, like the one below can help you
believe in yourself and attract opportunity.

To Bring Success Spell

Tools and ingredients

Bathtub
Salt
Two green candles
A bowl full of fresh leaves from four of the following plants: Marigold, Celery, Mint,
Grass, Nasturtium, Parsley, Cress, and Comfrey.
Cheesecloth
Silver ribbon

Step 1. After collecting the tools and ingredients, prepare the space
around the bathtub according to your own ritual, or by lightly sprinkling salt in a
circle around it while speaking the following words: I consecrate this place/ for the
Goddess within and without/ Only love and good can remain/ hate and evil are cast
out.

Step 2. Light the candles and fill the bathtub.

Step 3. As the tub is filling, concentrate on that thing which is your goal.
Visualize the steps necessary to achieve it.

Step 4. When the bath is ready, sprinkle the leaves throughout the tub.

Step 5. Get into the bath and inhale the steam as you speak the following
words seven times: Blessed One within and without/ As green and strong these
gentle herbs are/ let them draw to me favor and fortune/ In your wisdom show me/
how to achieve that which I desire.

Note. If you have a specific goal in mind, it is appropriate to add that to the end
of this incantation. Whether you know your goal or if it is more general, it is very
important to visualize the success you desire.

Step 6. Remain in the bath as long as you like, meditating on your
desired goal. When you are finished, collect the wet leaves into the piece of
cheesecloth and gather up the sides to make a bag. Tie it with the silver ribbon and
hang it to dry.

Step 7. At night, when you sleep, place the bag under your pillow. As
you sleep, repeat the incantation and visualize your success.

Arabella Jolie

Whyte Witch
whyte-witch.com whyte-witch.com

In today’s hyper-competitive market, a burning question for most companies is: “How can we achieve a significant and sustainable competitive advantage in order to retain our customers?” After all, keeping existing customers is five times less expensive than finding new ones. That’s good business in anyone’s book.

Traditional competitive factors like product design, technology and distribution channels are harder to sustain in a super-fast, mega-networked world. In fact, the good old “Four P’s of Marketing” – product, price, promotion and placement – are having much less impact for companies competing in today’s marketplace. A fifth “P” – people – has become an increasingly important competitive factor. Consider this: About 70% of customers’ buying decisions are based on positive human interactions with sales staff. Add to this the fact that 83% of the U.S. gross domestic product comes from services and information which are created and delivered by people. The bottom line is that people buy from people, not companies. So, your people – and the performance they deliver – are the defining competitive advantage for your organization.

The Anatomy of Passionate Performance

When people are engaged in their work and feel a deep connection to it, they deliver Passionate Performance. Passionate Performance creates satisfied customers, and ultimately, value for the organization. Think of the times you’ve gone shopping or to a restaurant and dealt with service people who were visibly excited to be in their jobs and to be serving you. Their words jumped out of their hearts rather than being regurgitated from a script. They probably surprised you with the extra effort and thoughtfulness they put toward satisfying your particular needs or questions – and they actually seemed happy to do it! Now, consider how you felt when you left these establishments. Did you buy more than you had planned? Were you likely to return? Did you recommend these businesses to friends? You probably answered “Yes” to at least one of these questions. That’s the beginning of a value chain that starts with engaged employees.

Some people are naturally engaged in their work and consistently deliver Passionate Performance. The most effective leaders learn how to bring these qualities out in everyone. They invest time, energy and resources to engage their people because engaged employees are more likely to:

- stay with the organization;

- perform at higher levels;

- influence others to perform well;

- promote the organization externally; and

- deliver unparalleled customer service.

When you discover how to actively engage your people to deliver Passionate Performance, you start a powerful and self-reinforcing cycle that builds value for your organization. This creates a unique, sustainable competitive advantage. Given enough time and resources, your competitors can replicate your products, distribution channels and technology. However, Passionate Performance cannot be easily duplicated by your competition and creates a rock-solid wall of differentiation between you and the rest of the pack.

Passionate Performance is achieved when employees are fully engaged – when they demonstrate a strong, sustained intellectual and emotional attachment to their work. You will know when employees are demonstrating Passionate Performance because you will feel the enthusiasm and see the results. Your team will have more fun creating better outcomes. They will be fully present at work, in the moment, in the flow. They will perform at higher levels and be motivated to do more. They will feel like kids again – a time when they had fun doing their very best at whatever they were engaged in. In short, their work will feel like play.

The key to Passionate Performance is found within the minds and hearts of employees where basic human needs are fulfilled. It’s a simple but powerful formula: When my needs are fulfilled, I am engaged and I perform at my peak ability. When my needs are met, I’m motivated to help those who meet my needs. When my needs are not met, I’m frustrated, out of control, unfocused, and disconnected – in a word, disengaged.

We all have these basic human needs, and they have remained the same amidst the tornado of external change. Times have changed, and our world has certainly changed, but people have not. In many organizations today, these basic needs still go unfulfilled. It’s up to you as the leader to fulfill them.

To meet these needs, leaders must first see them and acknowledge them. In order to see them, leaders must view their employees as people and not just workers. If you look at your employees as people, you can identify these six basic needs – three intellectual and three emotional:

Intellectual Needs: Achievement, Autonomy and Mastery

Emotional Needs: Purpose, Intimacy and Appreciation

These needs are interdependent. For example, to engage the minds of your employees, you must fulfill all three intellectual needs: achievement, autonomy and mastery. The same holds true for the emotional needs. Therefore, achieving Passionate Performance is a two-sided challenge: intellectual and emotional. Successful leaders engage both the minds and hearts of their people.

When it comes to Passionate Performance, the mind and the heart go hand in hand. Engaged minds build your employees’ performance and engaged hearts build their passion. Performance without passion tends to falter during tough times or in the face of challenges that require sacrifice, significant extra effort or unusually creative solutions. On the other hand, passion without performance results in diffused, unfocused efforts.

Engaged minds build your employees’ performance and engaged hearts build their passion – they go hand in hand. You ignite Passionate Performance only when all three intellectual and all three emotional needs are fulfilled and you connect minds and hearts.

Engaging the Mind

Engaging employees’ minds tends to come naturally for many leaders. The mind represents the intellectual aspects of people that are based on reason, logic, and cause and effect. It requires the science of leadership which is the focus of most leadership training and education. Engaging the mind builds employee performance. Elevating employees’ performance by engaging their minds involves the basics of leadership, but the basics are often overlooked. Even the best professional athletes can lose site of the basic skills of their sports: An all-star wide receiver takes his eyes off the ball and misses an easy touchdown pass. An Olympic downhill skier doesn’t stay in a tight tuck, catches a draft and eats snow. A world-class golfer forgets to shift her weight during a tee shot and shanks it.

It’s no surprise that, as leaders, we can also sometimes forget the basics. The basics of our “sport” involve meeting employees’ three intellectual needs: Achievement, Autonomy and Mastery.

When you fulfill these needs, you create a self-reinforcing cycle of improvement, growth and high performance for your team. The mind is a muscle. It must be exercised or it will weaken. Engaging the mind is a form of mental exercise – it strengthens your employees’ ability to perform. Engage their minds and watch their performance grow!

Engaging the Heart

Engaging the heart tends to be more challenging for leaders than engaging the mind. It’s the softer side of leadership, but it’s often harder to get your hands around. Traditional leadership development programs don’t emphasize the skills necessary to engage employees’ hearts, and many organizations don’t reinforce these skills with their leaders. As a result, many leaders tend to be less comfortable with this side of engagement because they simply have never learned how or what to do. Emotional engagement creates an advantage that is very difficult for your competitors to duplicate, so it’s worth learning to do well.

The heart represents the emotional side of people that is based on connections. This side requires the art of leadership that focuses on relationships. Engaging the heart creates passion. Although we might like to think otherwise, the truth is that we live in a world driven by emotional decisions. Remember that 70% of customers’ buying decisions are based on human interactions. Likewise, employees are primarily driven by emotional and personal considerations. When people go to work, they don’t leave their hearts at home. We may live in a high-tech world, but leadership is still a high-touch job. How often do you hear people speak with envy about companies with “real heart” – companies like The Container Store, Southwest Airlines, Harley-Davidson, Enterprise Rent-A-Car and Chick-fil-A? Outsiders are constantly looking for their “secrets” to success. The secret lies in the hearts of their employees. These companies have created connected teams and, as a result, have built dominant businesses.

If you’re going to engage your employees’ hearts, you must first meet their basic emotional needs: Purpose,
Intimacy and Appreciation.

When you fulfill these needs, you create self-reinforcing connections – connections between your employees and you, between their work and their purpose, and between each other. These connections establish strong, intangible relationships that yield amazing tangible results. Engage employees’ hearts and watch their passion grow!

Leading the Way

Leading the way to Passionate Performance for your team is a big responsibility. As a leader, you’re the only person who can engage your employees. It’s not your boss’s responsibility or Human Resources’ – it’s yours. Engaging employees is a personal matter, not a company matter.

Meeting your employees’ needs and engaging them is a long-term process, and there are no shortcuts. You need to mentally prepare for a marathon versus a sprint. And there may be some bumps in the road. You may not see the sparks of Passionate Performance until you are well into the race and feeling weary, like you can’t go on. That’s usually about the time your team seems to give it all back, and you see the positive results of your efforts. It’s like the “runner’s high.” Suddenly your team’s success appears effortless – you are in the zone. Only you and your team can fully appreciate the simplicity and hard work behind your winning ways. Best of all, everyone on your team will deliver Passionate Performance every day. You will win the race and conquer the competition!

Author Lee J. Colan is a highly sought-after executive advisor and a captivating speaker.

He has published six books including the best sellers Sticking to It: The Art of Adherence and Passionate Performance.

Learn more by visiting theLgroup.com theLgroup.com or calling 972-250-9989.

A few months ago, I had a conversation with a churchgoer who complained about religious intolerance. He said (and I paraphrase), “When it comes to religous beliefs, I really don’t like people who think they’re the ones that are right.”

Something about his words made me uncomfortable. As I squirmed in my seat, I realized why.

When a church or denomination takes a doctrinal stance, then of course it’s because they believe they’re right. After all, that’s what doctrine is about, isn’t it? Furthermore, if they believe they’re right, then logically, they must consider groups with different doctrinal views to be incorrect. That’s the nature of logic. So naturally, any church that puts thought into its techings will consider its own views to be correct. And naturally, it will say that churches with differing doctrines are in error. This isn’t a moral condemnation (at least, not necessarily) rather, it’s just plain common sense.

The same holds true for individuals. When an individual — whether theist, deist or atheist — claims to be correct, then that person naturally holds that contrary views are in error. It’s just that simple.

The only way to avoid this is to say “Oh, there is no genuine right or wrong. Truth is relative.” Now, most people would never actually say such a thing however, this worldview is often reflected in their actions. When a church says that there are multiple interpretations of a theological text, for example, and that no single interpretation is preferable — that’s relativism. Or when a church refuses to correct the doctrines of other congregations, that is practicing relativism as well. In effect, it’s saying, “You believe what you want, and we’ll believe what we want. In the end, it doesn’t really matter.”

In fact, that statement — “there is no genuine right or wrong” — shoots itself in the foot. If there is no genuine truth, then is it true that nothing is genuinely true? This claim is blatantly self-contradictory, and thus, self-refuting.

One teacher said to me recently, “We all just need to decide what we want to follow.” I was rather discomfitted by that answer, since I don’t think it’s entirely accurate. We must certainly make a decision, but that’s not ALL that we must do. It seems to me that people — again, whether theist, deist or atheist — must make sure that our paths line up with the truth. It’s not enough to merely decide which path to follow rather, we must also ensure that these paths are logically informed and consistent with the truth.

About the author:

V. Berba Velasco Jr., Ph.D. is a senior electrical and software engineer at Cellular Technology Ltd, a biotech company that provides

We structure our children to believe as we do and become as we are. Look around at the world and imagine it ten times as dangerous as it is now. This is where our children are heading. Why not allow children to develop as their hearts lead them rather than pump their innocent minds full of our ideas. The world we have made is a world where nobody can be trusted and everybody is out for themselves. You see it happening every day — in business, government, health care; it’s as if everybody is a used car salesman and we are his marks.

Every interaction is becoming a con of some kind. Who can you really trust? This is what our world is coming to. Why structure our children the same way? It’s not anybody but ourselves that’s causing problems; our own fear, ambition, and aggressiveness is boomeranging on us. But that’s difficult to swallow and admit — that would take a warrior.

Why force a tree to grow according to our dictates rather than protect and water it, and allow it to grow naturally? We fear that our children will not be successful, but how do we define success? Slaves to an economic world . . . or happiness and fulfillment? Where has an ambitious, competitive world taken us, except to the brink of nuclear war?

All of our technology will be destroyed instantly, along with us, when our ignorance and anger triggers the bombs. Then, looking back, the evolution that was just beginning was not such a bad idea, where our anger and our egoism were beginning to be understood, and the dangers of egoistic ambition were being uncovered in every aspect of our lives, especially our misunderstanding of God, country and religion.

Those that are evolving are a threat to the status quo. Those that are evolving therefore must be fearless. Those who fear change, those who refuse to wake up, will view this evolution as blasphemy, and consider those who are evolving dangerous. Therefore, only true warriors can tread this road, and once a warrior’s eyes begin to open, there can be no going back. When the warrior discovers how he or she has been manipulated, and how they have manipulated themselves, how could they possibly return to that kind of ignorance?

When we question our embedded values, a clash of culture results. That is why we create illusions and images about our values rather than question them. Warriors however question everything and aren’t afraid of clashing with embedded values. They refuse to create illusions about them, having enough courage to see exactly what is going on.

Those not evolving will give way and escape from this self-inquiry every time because this self-inquiry, this clash of our long held beliefs, involves suffering; a pain similar to an addict withdrawing from his or her addiction. But this kind of suffering eventually frees, unlike addictions that perpetuates illusions and unhappiness forever.

Only a warrior can withstand this intelligent suffering, and only a warrior can become totally free. Those not evolving attempt to escape their suffering through diversion rather than looking directly at their angst, but this kind of escape is temporary. Being born into a human, organic body insures suffering, and those who do not believe this either haven’t looked carefully at life or haven’t lived long enough.

Just look at our extended families, and then look at the world. Fifty percent of the children in the world go to bed hungry every night, and 18,000 die from starvation. It’s not because of a lack of food; it is a lack of enlightened leadership. Only a warrior can question his God, his country, and his family. Only a warrior can become awakened.

Warriors never begin movements or new religions based upon what he or she discovers, because a warrior understands the dependency and fog of religion. Non-warriors who refuse to think for themselves are the religion builders, as they attempt to find security in ideals. When a warrior sees how this has happened to herself, there is no further justification for religion. Security now resides not in a religion, but in the warrior’s heart.

The warrior doesn’t worry about perpetual life after death, or the continuance of ego, that’s not for warriors. Warriors don’t attempt to organize the truth, they see truth for themselves and they do not hold it. They allow truth to arise each moment. They know that truth cannot be captured; it’s much too fast for that. Religions that attempt to capture someone else’s truth are mere organizations that imprison fearful people, insecure people who must rely on outside authorities to tell them what to think.

Look at the different belief systems of the world. If we can remove ourselves for a moment from the narrow, restricted world of our own religion where dogma is continually reinforced and distilled by clan-like mentalities, we will see for ourselves that religion is only assumptions and suppositions. Miracles, pomp and ceremony, magic and mysticism — these are the glue that holds these Wizards of Oz together, and the results are fear and dependency . . . and warriors don’t fear. Only the fearful can be persuaded to follow paths of bondage leading nowhere but to confusion and sleep. Hoping for immortality and all the other egotistical fantasies of the fearful, are no more than fictional fairytales of unfortunate, oppressed people.

Our evolving warriors are the only hope for a world spinning out of control, and unfortunately, warriors can expect to find themselves entangled in conflict at every turn. This is the path of a true combatant, and a true combatant would never avoid the difficulties their path involves. A warrior does what is right in his or her heart, and lets the chips fall where they may. They have escaped their prisons, and offer hope to those who wish to escape as well.

Spiritual warriors are the future, and the future will be light years from what we consider religion to be today.

Copyright © E. Raymond Rock 2007. All rights reserved

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center ( SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com/ southwestfloridainsightcenter.com/). His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores and online retailers

Anger is a pervasive poison. It will ruin you, turning safety to fear, confidence to hopelessness, happiness to depression, and optimism to anxiety. It will ruin your relationships, turning peacefulness to hostility, comfort to animosity, love, and friendship to hatred, cooperation to rebellion, and intimacy to loneliness.

If anger is part of your life, you cannot hide from it. However, you can conquer it by learning how to control your hostile
feelings. With an effective approach to controlling your anger, you and your loved ones can live a healthy and productive
life.

The 3-steps for absolute anger control
Anger control requires the consistent and timely use of specific tools, to remain calm. Here is one useful tool you can use

to prevent the expression of anger.
Responsibility, Awareness, and Stop-anger, are three essential steps to absolute anger control. Memorize these
3-steps, use these 3-steps, and you will always stay calm.

1 – Responsibility
Take one hundred percent responsibility for your expressions of anger. If you try to blame anyone else for your anger, you
are only giving yourself excuses and making it difficult to succeed at anger control. You chose how to react to a particular
situation. You make yourself angry, no one else.

2 – Awareness
Become aware of what are your unique physical, emotional, and mental arousal states that signal growing anger. For example;
a tensing of your muscles, racing thoughts, feeling trapped, or not being understood. Discover the sensations you typically
experience that you can use as warning signs that you are becoming angry.

3 – Stop-anger
As soon as you become aware of growing anger, immediately take action. For example, turn a face-to-face conversation into a
conversation over the phone to reduce the emotional intensity, leave the room, go for a walk, change how you think about the
situation, or take a shower.

Whenever you feel the urge to get angry, use these three steps to control your behavior and remain calm.

If you would like more help getting control over your anger, we have for you some valuable tools. They are easy to use and will quickly get you results. Just click on the links below and learn how to feel great, and create meaningful and long-lasting relationships.

Abe Kass, M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T., is a registered Social Worker, registered
Marriage and Family Therapist, certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, and
award-winning educator and writer. He has a busy family therapy practice working
with individuals, couples, and their families in Toronto, Canada. Abe is a
member of the Ontario College of Social Workers, the Ontario and American
Associations for Marriage and Family Therapy, and the National Board for
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.

Abe concluded that practical solutions requiring a focused effort of no more
than a few minutes a day were critically needed to solve very specific personal
and relationship problems.For more information about Abe’s self help program

I hope that over the last two issues you actually invested the time to identify the goals that would have the most significant impact on your life once achieved, determine the steps you need to take to achieve them, identify the person who can help you with their accomplishment and set the deadline for achieving them.

Once you have done all of that you now need to have the motivation to pursue them. Motivation is a key component of success and I’ve noticed that Olympians in the sporting arena as well as Olympians in life are highly motivated to turn their dreams into reality.

Motivation comes from within

The extent to which you can get motivated, remain motivated and continue to make forward progress determines whether you will accomplish the goals you set for yourself. Many people have the wrong concept about motivation. They sit there waiting for the guy or girl to come and turn them on, get them motivated. But what if they don’t turn up? What happens then? These people really believe that motivation comes from someone who can give them a fiery speech to get them excited and energized. And I do agree that there are times in our lives when our batteries are a little drained and so a few words of encouragement would do wonders to give us an emotional pick me up but the truth is that real motivation comes from within.

Your motivation will flow naturally from your dreams. A powerful goal takes on a life of its own. It lives and breathes inside of you. Have you ever been so excited about doing something or going somewhere that you hardly slept a wink the night before? Sure you have! That’s because you were highly motivated by the goal of getting that thing done or getting to that place. Powerful goals get you up in the morning and provide the motivational energy you need to achieve them.

Motivation is the reasons why

If you don’t feel highly motivated about the list you made or about goals you had previously it is because they weren’t big enough or you have not yet identified the reason why they are important to you. If that is so, ask yourself the following questions:

Why would achieving these goals be important to me, in what way would they impact my life positively?

Why did I choose my current career/course of study?

How do I expect my current career/course of study to help me achieve my goals?

What difficulties/hardships am I willing to endure in order to achieve my goals?

These are questions that only you can answer for yourself. However, the honest answers are the source of your motivation. This is not motivation that has been imposed on you by someone else but rather it is your personal motivation—it is self-motivation. In order to be successful, in order to make things happen in your life you have to be self-motivated.

Self-motivated individuals are those who have a reason, a purpose, a cause…all of which compels them to act. Someone once said, “Self motivation is the bridge between thinking about your goal and accomplishing them”. That’s because motivation isn’t just a feel good sensation but a driving force; a compelling reason that calls us to action.

ACTION STEPS.

1. For each goal you wrote down write two to three reasons why they would be important to you achieving them.

2. Review them daily.

Keep ON Pushing!

Copyright (C) 2005 Devon Harris
All rights reserved worldwide
devonharrislive.com www.devonharrislive.com

The contents of this E-zine may be copied, reproduced, or freely distributed for all nonprofit purposes without the consent of the author as long as the author’s name, copyright notice, and contact information are included.

With a change in my circumstances and recent problems in my life, I have been trying to define success and what it really means to each of us and I think I have worked out its foundations. I believe that the essence of our lives is our values – what matter to us the most and how they shape our world. Whether liberating or limiting, values affect everything we do.

Someone can live with a value that says: Disco dancing is not something any self-respecting person does! That’s fine, but that preference ignores two important and beneficial facts about the pastime. First, that the more we exercise our bodies, the more we are relaxed by music and the healthier we are. Second, the more we take time out to simply enjoy ourselves and connect with other humans, the better we both look and feel.

Values come from our parents, to begin with, then from our peer groups and then through our workplace, from the people we routinely try to impress and, finally, from ourselves through increased awareness and knowledge. What a lot of people subconsciously deny is that they can actually change their values and thus change their lives, dramatically – almost in an instant; that values DO change as we become more aware and evolve in our lives, to match our aspirations and identity.

Every behaviour we express is done for either one of two reasons: to avoid pain or to get pleasure, according to our value system. So, if we are reluctant to change our values it is likely that we associate pain with them (the pain of disapproval, of isolation from a significant person/group, of punishment, of guilt, of disappointment or of confused identity, to name a few examples).

Values and Personal Perception

Values powerfully affect personal PERCEPTION which in turn decides our identity, beliefs, attitudes, behaviour, aspirations, purpose and the reaction from others. That’s why fearful people with weak, inconsistent or superficial values tend to have no real purpose to their lives or any genuine success. It is difficult to achieve when we don’t know what we want, when we prefer to blame others for our problems or are afraid to dream.

Perception is actually governed by two elements: CONFIDENCE and FEAR, the amount of each depending on personality and experience. For example, someone who is confident would be more assured in approach and more willing to experiment and move into the unknown; to give greater acknowledgement and value to others because they are likely to feel less threatened. However, someone whose perception is dominated by fear will be more anxious, perhaps developing a siege mentality, and likely to withdraw from most things in their lives. They would see everything as threatening, costly, painful or even alien to their values. They would seldom see gains, only losses. Most of their values would tend to be limiting, avoiding rather than approaching, which ultimately curtails their personal success.

Values also dictate five very important aspects of our perception:

a. Who am I?

b. What do I stand for?

c. Where am I going?

d. How much do I like myself?

e. How do I treat/relate to others?

During my lone marriage I was unsure of all of these elements of my life. If I had to rate each out of 5 at that time, the score would be as follows: 3,3,2,3,2 (total 13 out of 25). Today I would rate them: 5,5,5,5,4 (24)! You can see the leap in awareness, congruence and self-belief. That’s how I know that the sky is now definitely my limit as I begin to use my knowledge and resources to fulfil the aim of those questions. Try that little exercise on yourself to see where you are now! The answer could be most enlightening.

The Effect of Congruence on Success

True SUCCESS comes when we have CONGRUENCE (or alignment) in our values and know the answers to the 5 elements above by heart. I could not be as successful as I hoped before now because I had too much incongruence and inconsistency in my life. For example, I wanted desperately to be loved by my husband but I still put up with a negative situation instead, thinking all the time things would change as I waited for him to act! Yet the key was really me taking action, not waiting for someone else to do so. I also wanted to be a successful entrepreneur through my talents, but way back as a teenager I made vows to give up material things and eschew money which has remained in my subconscious ever since. The result is that I paid little attention to the finance while focusing on the product! But the two needed to go together.

I also wanted to be creative to fulfil Items b and c, but I suppressed my creativity with my partner because he did not give my dreams or aspirations much relevance or encouragement. In fact, in my bid for approval, I accepted behaviour both in myself and others which went against my values and principles, as I tried vainly to live a ‘decent’ and caring life. But decency is not possible in an absence of respect. Nothing good can ever come out of incongruence and imbalance, especially when our values are constantly challenged. When we have to pretend regarding our basic needs, or to deny what we want to make us happy in order to please someone else or gain approval, we are going nowhere.

I feel as though I had to shed the old false skin of incongruity, to go to rock bottom on all fronts, especially in my marriage and business, which had lots of inconsistencies, to realise who I was and where I was going. The effect, this past few years, in particular, has been incredible. It’s like being finally contented, at peace, knowledgeable and invincible.

Purpose and Meaning

Values give us both purpose and meaning. Success is thus elusive when we don’t know exactly where we are heading in our life and what our purpose is. That is why many people achieve short term aims, like money or status, but still remain largely unhappy and unfulfilled. In fact, they might have great disappointment wondering if that was what it was all about. They mistakenly believe those things would provide happiness. But such transitory gains usually don’t, unless they are part of the context of fulfilling an overall individual purpose at some point. Happiness comes from inside us, when we know who we are, what we stand for and where we are going; when we love ourself unconditionally and treat others with compassion, value and respect, if not love. When we actually make time for others and ourselves, the Universe delivers.

My overall purpose is simple: to make a difference to the lives of others for the rest of my life. In daily terms it translates like this: Giving either my smile, an affirmation, praise, my time, information, advice, my expertise or actual presence to someone to help their life to be more meaningful and enjoyable. One person having any of my contributions on any one day will mean 365 for the whole year. And if they each passed that on to just one other person, that will be 730. That’s how I hope to impact on MY world, not the world at large because that will take care of itself in due course through the ripple effect.

The Power of Values over Decisions

Basically, wherever we are frustrated in our achievement, there is usually a value blocking the way, because it is incompatible with what we actually seek or desire, or because we have too readily compromised it! We are not being true to ourselves which generates unnecessary mental conflict and anguish. For example, we might value one thing – like honesty – but secretly have affairs, or slag off our friends and colleagues, then wonder why there is no trust at home or we have few friends! If we are also stuck in an unfulfilling job which goes against our values and which puts a salary at the heart of everything, we will continue to be unhappy, low in self-esteem and to underachieve.

People who want to ‘change the world’ tend to be the least likely to do anything at all because they are too focused on the big picture and become overwhelmed by it, which makes them inactive. What they forget is that changing the world is a collective responsibility. While they are busy trying to change it singlehandedly everyone else would then have nothing to do, and might even sabotage their efforts through envy or jealousy!! However, if everyone simply looked after, or impacted on, their own environment in some small way, the whole world would gradually be impacted through an outwardly rippling effect, hopefully for the better.

Do you know what your values are? If you do, what should be the most important thing for you today? Not sure? Well, it is every single DECISION you are likely to make, no matter how small. But that’s another article! As long as you are sure of your values and live through them, without undue compromise, your success is guaranteed. I hope you have a fabulous day, and that your values are giving you both the confidence and the courage to make the right decisions. You could be most surprised by the results!

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah – myspace.com/elaineone myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University, Elaine is a CONSULTANT for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Dynamic extrovert with a passion for living and people. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on amazon.co.uk amazon.co.uk). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Achievement Awards.

We are not born with a lack of self confidence. We have just unconsciously followed a certain path. A path made for us by the opinions of others and influence of the environment. We have been trained out of our natural ability to let go and have learned to suppress our feelings. We have effectively stored up a whole host of problems that do little to raise our self esteem and in fact do quite the opposite.

For all of our lives we have been soaking up the opinions of others. We are told not to cry and we are told to grow up. We are told to keep quiet and to keep our opinions to ourselves. Is it any wonder that we carry with us a huge weight of suppressed emotional garbage. You see when we suppress or avoid emotions they stay with us. Time does not heal, we just tend to bury those things we suppressed a little deeper. We then wonder later in life why we experience such things as tension, stress, anxiety and depression!

We do all sorts of things to avoid how we feel including watching TV, exercise, eating and drinking. It’s not that there is anything wrong with these things, it’s just that we do them in excess. We have effectively become masters of suppression and built the very walls that hold us back. We are being held back by the prison of our past. The trapped emotions make us do things that are not good for us. We then blame our condition on some external effect rather than dealing with the cause. For example, it’s not our weight problem that gives us low self esteem, it’s what caused the weight problem in the first place. We then try to deal with the weight problem and wonder why we seem to end up putting more weight on!

What we need to do, is to learn to let go or release the emotions we have built up. In certain circumstances we do this naturally. Have you ever lost something and then frantically searched the house only to find whatever it is you lost in your pocket. You have? Then you will remember the relief you felt when you found the missing object. This was ‘letting go in the moment’ and it is what we should be doing with all our emotions even the ones we have suppressed.

When we let go in this manner we are actually expressing the greatest expression of love, forgiveness. When we truly forgive we undo the effects of the past and make the way clear for a brighter tomorrow.

For ‘letting go’ of your emotional load I can recommend two very popular resources. There is a great book by Hale Dwoskin called The Sedona Method. Also, you could try The Secret Key by Charles Haanel.

Stuart is the co-owner of site 7stepsup.com 7stepsup.com and believes that boostingselfesteem.com boosting self esteem is made that much easier when we learn to let go.

Stress has the solution within the word. Rest plus two syllables to spare. Yes…yes…It is a product of self-creation. For the stress, you have to mostly blame yourself. They say you are the creator of your destiny and circumstances. When you think that you are the victim of circumstances, you are under stress. In short, when you are unable to cope up with a given situation, you are under stress!

Whether the businessmen have more stress or those in service have more stress? The answer is not ‘No’. Both have stress. Stress or no stress, is the manner in which you manage your life. Your response to a given situation is the indicator whether you have the stress or not! To give you an example- it may be the best orchestra of the town; but if your heart is the muffled drum, what you can do about it? How you can enjoy the vibrations of the music?

When you know the signs and understand the sources of stress, with a firm resolution, you can find a remedy for it as well. Ups and downs are common in business. It is part and parcel of its sustainability. Women businessmen have a different type of stress. They have to strike the balance between running the business and the household duties.

One of the important steps to tackle the stress is to organize your environment, and budget your time. Set a time table and work according to that schedule. You can’t have more than twenty four hours in a day. Your competitors too have just that many hours. Then how they are in a more advantageous position?

Think positively. Whether unnecessary thinking and stressful living, has solved any problems? Then, why worry over a matter over which you should not worry at all?

Your habits have lot to do with your stress. Never postpone for tomorrow, what you can do and complete today. Tomorrow never comes. Today it will be too late. Do it just now.

The sold saying goes, “A stitch in time, saves nine.” What nine? I do not know. Again the wise saying goes:

“One thing at a time, and that done well,
Is a very good rule, as many can tell.”

“So if you want, to gain your way,
Work while you work, and play while you play.
That is the way to be happy and gay!”

Remember, you can’t control what happens in life. You can just face the situation. On the physical side, have a regular exercising schedule. Set a goal and continuously work on it. Take enough rest, but not to the point of laziness!

To get more information on stress management, aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/blogs/stress-management.htm stress management and aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/blogs/self-improvement.htm stress management tips visit aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/ www.aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief

God loves us and wants to bless us abundantly, but we often choose to suffer instead of enjoying His blessings. We live in a sinful world and suffering is a part of life. But that doesn’t mean that God wants our lives to be full of pain and constant struggle.

The Bible tells us that Christ died so that we could have life and abundance. (John 10:10) But God never forces His blessings on us, instead He tells us how we can choose to receive them.

Choosing God’s blessings

In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy we read about the blessings and curses that God would bring on the Children of Israel. Chapter 28 lists all the blessings that would come on them for obeying God, and all the curses that would happen if they didn’t. In Chapter 30 we read that if the curses have come on them, and they remember the blessings and repent, then God will again bring His blessings upon them.

Before we can enjoy God’s blessings we have to choose them. Deuteronomy 30:15 says, “See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.” The choice is ours, and making the decision to obey Him and receive His blessings is the first step.

To whom much is given

I think that most people would take God’s blessings without a second thought if they were simply dropped in their lap. But they usually come along with greater responsibility and that scares them. The servant who received only one talent was afraid to lose it, so he hid it, and because of that he lost a lot more than just one talent.

When we choose to enjoy God’s blessings, we are also choosing to accept the problems and responsibilities that come with them. Jesus said, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (Luke 12:48) So the second step to enjoying God’s blessings is to be willing accept the responsibility that comes with them.

Are you trustworthy?

An important step that we can take in preparation for greater blessings is to be faithful, or trustworthy, with what we currently have. How faithful are you when it comes to giving of your time, talents, and treasures? Jesus said, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

God wants to be sure that His blessings will be properly handled. When God plants a seed He expects it to grow and multiply. It’s the same with His blessings. He gives them to us so that we can share them and multiply them. The next step to enjoying God’s blessings is to be trustworthy with what we have, sharing our blessings with others so that they increase.

Do you remember God?

In the parable of the sower, Jesus talked about how some of the seed was sown in the midst of thorns. The thorns choked those seeds and they didn’t bear much fruit. One of the “thorns” that He talked about was the “deceitfulness of riches.” If we are to enjoy much fruit and enjoy God’s blessings, then we need to be careful to avoid being deceived by riches.

Deuteronomy 8:10-11 says, “When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.”

Riches deceive us whenever we fail to remember that it is God who gave us the ability to get them, even if it’s just the riches we enjoy from our current job. Whenever we believe that we did it on our own, we choke the fruit and can’t enjoy His blessings. One of the most important steps for us to take is to remember that all we have, and all that we will receive, comes from God and we are to always praise and thank Him for it.

Are you waiting for the bad news?

Some people are afraid of good things happening in their lives because they are convinced that bad always follows good. Have you ever caught yourself thinking, or saying, “Things may be good now, but it can’t last.”

There are those who believe that the universe is perfectly balanced. That there is up and down, right and left, as well as good and evil in equal portions. And we learn from Job that we need to be willing to accept both good and bad in life, but we have to remember that God is good. His promise to us is that all things will work together for good. (Romans 8:28)

Just like the heavens are greater than the earth, God’s blessings and goodness are more abundant than the pain and suffering that we see in life. The final step to enjoying His blessings is knowing that above everything else, God is good. In our lives we will experience more good than bad, and God will even use the bad things for our good.

When we follow these steps, and believe in His love and goodness, we will enjoy His blessings.

Rob Marshall is the author of “Taking On Goliath – How
to Unleash the David in All of Us.” Learn how you can
unleash your faith and overcome any “Goliath” that may
stand between you and your dreams.
TakingOnGoliath.com TakingOnGoliath.com