In one forum, one participant posted this query:

I think quite a few of us believe in the inadequacy of traditional science being unable to explain our universe, being unable to explain how to have a positive attitude, and how to live. We believe that possibly, there are no accidents, and the life we are living in is our choice.

I want to learn from you on how to put this spirituality into a typical skill building training program….I believe that the key to helping people is not to develop their skills, but to build that little voice they hear inside their head every now and then. The voice that is bereaving them from within, and is having a conversation with them… Is there anyone here who has attempted to do this wants to share the experience?

After Emotional Intelligence, analysts are now looking at Spiritual Intelligence (SI) as another means of addressing personal, business and career related quandary. While IQ and EQ are not new, SI is still in the infancy stage. This book will discuss SI and its connection to personal effectiveness and career development.

Different authors attempted to define SI in a general perspective so as not to offend the sensibilities of different cultures. But this is what SI is not, religion. Because of this, some professionals are hesitant to explore the fullness of SI. Furthermore, it is assumed that SI is primarily based on intuition and emotion, discouraging the intellectuals in the process.

But what is Spiritual Intelligence?

Spiritual Intelligence (SI) is all about man’s connection to his Creator. It is his ability to (1) recognize life principles (natural and spiritual laws) and (2) build his life in accordance with these laws. In layman’s term, SI is also called ‘wisdom’ or the application of knowledge

Contrary to the general perception, Spiritual Intelligence invokes the use of reason and will. The process involves analysis and a decision. To illustrate my point is to use the law of “gravity” as example. We don’t have to feel the presence of gravity to believe, this principle is in place whether we are a believer of this law or not. And in application of this knowledge (wisdom), man made decisions (technological advancement) in respect to this principle to protect lives and properties.

Since this book is about the governing laws and principles of life, let us discuss SI 101 or the foundation of Spiritual Intelligence.

The ancient proverb says:

Treasure wisdom (spiritual intelligence) and it will make you great; hold on to it and it will bring you honor. Prov. 4:8 (NCV)

Below are the fundamentals of Spiritual Intelligence.

1) Man has to recognize his spirituality. Unless a person recognize he is a spirit being temporarily dwelling in a physical body, SI will not be of help.

2) Man has to recognize a higher spiritual being, the Supreme Designer who created both the seen and unseen, also the Great Author who set the “principles” in place to uphold the creation.
Removing God from the picture is like removing “intelligence” from SI, leaving you with spirituality without “content”.

3) If there is a Creator and we are created, there must be a “guidebook” about “life and creation” that we can all refer to.
Whenever we aquire a new gadget, we refer to the handbook to understand its features and safety use. Definitely, we have to refer to something to understand the creation and the principles that hold it together.

4) Man has to understand his purpose in life, his calling.
We can be good at a skill because of a training intervention but it does not mean the use of that skill is our destiny.
There are those who are “genetically encoded” into a career- those who were “anointed” or “enabled”, as others have called it, to accomplish a job, meet a need or address a problem.

5) Man has to understand his place in God’s heart. The personality of each individual is partly a reflection of his understanding (or lack of it) of GOD.

6) The road to a successful life depends on a person’s ability to recognize “life principles”, and to synchronize his life in accordance with these laws.

While it is true that our world is dynamic, and businesses and human capital, in order to survive must adopt to the changes. We must, however, recognize that there are things in life that are “permanent”.

US President Jimmy Carter once said “We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles”.

Spiritual Intelligence is recognizing time honored rules and applying the same to our modern situation.

Unless an individual observed this prescription, Spiritual Intelligence will not benefit a person.

Severo Santos, also known as “Sonnie”, is a Human Resource Manager, Trainer, Volunteer Worker and Forum Moderator. He has authored several articles and in the process of completing a book on Spiritual Intelligence.

Visit his blog at skopun.blogspot.com/ skopun.blogspot.com/

Why Must We Find Truth:

Finding truth can be a very difficult task. We are processing data constantly with news from TV, radio and newspapers. Our government is very creative, daily, in their processing of information that manipulate our opinions in order to pass their agenda. We are bombarded with lies, half-truths, and deceptions from around the world in the name of winning our hearts and minds. Finding truth is a very difficult task, but, if we are to enjoy more peace and freedom it is a task that we must continue.

Success will come when we have a set of truths that are aligned with Universal Law. With this success will come a set of truths that we can utilize with full confidence that our actions will have a positive result. When we take action based on these
truths our actions will create more prosperity, joy, peace, and love. Truth aligns us with Universal Law. When we are aligned with Universal Law we know exactly what to expect when we think or act. In Universal Law cause and effect is always in balance. Very few think of finding truth as a task in itself. From birth people have been taught what they need to know from parents, teachers, clergy, politicians, and friends. Most of their actions are based on logic that is learned from the people
in their environment. Is the logic based on truth. Most likely it is not. Much of our logic is based on myth.

Myths have served as the accepted truth after being applied over generations. Many have been made into physical law by a consensus. These myths act to mask the absolute truth underlying Universal Law. Most people leave the search for truth to professionals and officials. When these leaders make an announcement about an issue, their followers generally accept it as truth. Too often the acceptance of the announcements as truth is not based on an alignment with a Universal Law, but, rather as an emotional show of support for their leader. Over time, over generations that announcement, whether mere manipulation or truth is accepted as the gospel by the faithful. Many people, therefore, have given up one of their birthrights – to create freedom to grow to a greater awareness about human existence. However, at any time anyone can choose again and decide to seek
and find truth. There are methodologies for finding truth that are free of the influence of others. One methodology is presented in this newsletter.

Methodology: How to Seek and Find Truth

To seek and find truth requires that we communicate within rather than without. When we communicate outside, with other people, truth is always watered down by differing perceptions, consensus, and compromise. People have different understandings. In a perfect world with perfect beings the methodology is very simple. We quiet our mind. We close our eyes. We focus our thoughts within. We ask a question? We let go of the question. We open our eyes and we continue our day’s activity. We observe our surroundings. Over time, we see the answer to our question in some occurrence in our surroundings. We may be directed to a new book. We may hear from a friend. Each question is answered through some sign. Each answer leads us along a path. More questions lead us further down our path. However, to reach a very effective level using this methodology
there is much work that we must do to remove the impediments and obstacles that we have built to block our path. The methods that have been proposed to clear the blockages that restrict our advancement can be divided into Eastern and Western philosophies. Most philosophies are based on the principle that our beliefs, emotions, and thoughts act as filters that obstruct the answers and the truth we seek. They serve as blockages to the energy that would propel us to fulfillment. Our methodology to clear filters is a mix of Eastern Philosophy and Western Philosophy. Eastern Philosophy focuses on the flow of energy in the body. Western Philosophy focuses on the quality of thoughts in the mind created by the beliefs we hold in our minds.

The Eastern Philosophy discusses the flow of earth and spirit energy through the seven charkas. The seven charkas are centers of energy placed along the trunk and head of our bodies with the first chakra at the base of the trunk and the seventh chakra at the top of the head. The chakras are like small waterwheels processing energy in two directions. Earth energy is processed up from the earth through the root chakra to the seventh chakra
and out the top of the head. Spirit energy is processed in through the top of the head, down through the root chakra and out of the body. The energy flows from these to every cell in our minds and bodies. The energy is a healing and nutritional energy that provides all we need. to sustain life. We may increase and direct that energy by meditating and focusing on its passage from the source. How open we are to the energy determines the strength of its flow.

The Western Philosophy discusses the thought process and its impact on the flow of energy in our life’s experience. Our minds act as a filter to the passage of energy. Our minds are much more than the brain and nervous system. The mind is all things. The mind is one and connects each of us and all things to the source of energy. Our beliefs affect our thoughts, and our thoughts affect our feelings. These create filters to the type of energy that we are able to process. To achieve our desires, which are physically represented through positive feelings within us, we must find the beliefs and truths that allow our
desires to manifest. Beliefs that are felt negatively are to be let go through forgiveness of their cause. There is always a very easy check on the quality of thoughts that we are
processing. That check is asking ourselves ‘What is the feeling in my gut?’. If we are processing thoughts that are aiding our true honest desires we have a good feeling in the gut. If we process thoughts that are abetting our true honest desires we have a bad feeling in the gut. When you feel that bad feeling it is a clear signal to examine your current thoughts and change them to positive thoughts.

Too often we make no progress because our thoughts balance each other. For instance, we have a thought about taking a trip to an exotic island. Great! But, then we begin to have thoughts
about the money that we need to take this trip. We begin to think we can not afford the trip. Our feelings turn negative. We have negated the thoughts that would have moved us forward. The trip never happens.

Progress can be made beginning with either the Western Philosophy or with the Eastern Philosophy. In time, practice of one will begin to overlap with the philosophy of the other.
All things are one. All truth leads to the same source. As you clear blockages to the flow of Universal Energy, and as you begin to manifest your desires large and small, your
understanding of the need for truth in your life will grow!

About Us:

Our newsletters are our means to reach out to others who are in search of basic truth. This search began almost 30 years ago with one question: How can we balance our lives? The summary of the answer to this question was compiled in a book titled ‘Creating Your Personal Journey’. The book was published in 1996. The search has continued as we adapt to a new question: What is the truth? We are guided by the thought that, ‘The best way to learn anything is to teach it.

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© Copyright 2005 Roger Paradis

Roger L. Paradis-”We R One”
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Creating a New Vision for the 21st Century

Does it seem as if life has presented you with situations where you have been knocked down and knocked around? Are you facing a barrage of obstacles, challenges, issues, and problems? Do you feel as if you’ve been knocked into a “pit”?

I define the “pit” as a state of being in which you feel helpless, hopeless and unable to succeed. Your energy is low, your actions are stagnant, and your faith is weak. Overall, you lack the ability to motivate yourself to take action.

I have found that once you fall in the “pit”, it is sometimes hard to come out. You struggle and can’t get a grip. You slip, you slide, you fall flat on your face. Worse yet, you feel as if you can’t see, and there seems to be no one around to help.

What I have come to realize, however, is that self-motivation is one of the most crucial resources to surviving the challenges of life. Self-motivation is when you can see beyond your current situation in order to move yourself into action.

Even though we all have self-motivation as a tool to increase our chances of avoiding life’s pitfalls, I have observed that there are those of us that find it extremely hard to remain motivated in living life daily. And worse yet, I’ve realized that there are some who completely rely upon other people to motivate them.

No matter what life has tricked you into believing about yourself, understand that you must motivate yourself! When you are knocked down by the challenges of life, know that you are your greatest resource to getting back up again!

Here are five (5) strategies that I developed which will help you to remain motivated to climb out your “pit”:

“Put on your Rhinestone Combat Boots”: Put your foot down, take a stand and declare, “Enough is enough!” Feel good about yourself as you wear the knowledge, experiences, wisdom, and faith that will help you to fight battles, climb over challenges, and kick butt”.

“Focus on the Light”: You must realize that your success depends on you believing in yourself and pushing beyond what you see. You must learn to focus on what lies ahead (i.e. job promotion, SBA loan, keys to your new home) and not dwell on what has passed (i.e. layoff, bankruptcy, divorce).

“Grasp Again”: Learn that when you slip in grasping for something that you want, that break gives you a chance to take a breath, regain your strength, and renew your focus, allowing you to see the best way to grasp again. As my favorite singer, Aaliyah, once sang, “if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again, you can dust it off and try again, try again.” Meaning, keep grasping until you get a firm hold and can overcome your obstacles.

“Have a Flashback Party”: Get together with a group of your closest friends. Allow those who know you well to shed light on the areas where you are great. You will gain strength as the memories reveal your achievements, successes, and moments of fearlessness. The “flashback party” will add to your self-confidence and boost your self-esteem and give you the energy to fight the darkness.

“Sing a Tune”: “Singing a tune” of positive words will uplift, encourage and motivate you to put forth your best effort to overcome the challenges of your life. Quotes, words of praise, affirmations, and scriptures are examples of positive “tunes” that you must play in your mind over and over again as you experience your darkest moments.

Success in life does require you to receive guidance, direction and assistance from others. Yet, the vital key to remaining out of and moving beyond the “pit” requires that you serve as the motivating force of your own life. When you “Put on your Rhinestone Combat Boots”, “Focus on the Light”, “Grasp Again”, “Have a Flashback Party”, and “Sing a Tune”, your actions will develop you into a capable individual who is wise and strong enough to overcome the challenges life throws your way.

Copyright @ 2007 SSANEE, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Cassandra Lee is a self-development expert that conducts seminars, moderates panels, facilitates workshops, presents speeches, and writes resources that provides instructions on personal growth and professional success. She is founder, president and chief executive officer of SSANEE Incorporated, an educational consulting firm in Chicago, IL, where she provides interactive, skill-building seminars and keynotes to associations, colleges, corporations, clubs, organizations, social service agencies, and universities nationwide. She is featured in Who’s Who in Black Chicago, the Inaugural Edition and is the author of the audio CD D.I.V.A.BITS™: 24 Enlightening Tips to Conquer Communication Skills and co-author of the books Survival Skills for the African-American Woman and The Young Woman’s Guide for Personal Success. To receive professional development strategies FREE each month, sign-up for her newsletter, Dialog Digest at ssanee.com ssanee.com

We experience failure directly or indirectly. Here we will come to know about the meaning and the mighty types and reasons of any failure.

All failures have emotional aspects which colors the person’s reaction to this failure and to the situation in which failure occurred. While personal reactions are different to predict the common reactions are self-negation, self affirmation, the use of defense mechanism, motivation, expectation for future success and changing goals. Failure is always ego-deflating and thus effects the personality unfavorably.

There are two types of failure : A] SUBJECTIVE and B] OBJECTIVE

A] SUBJECTIVE FAILURE:- In this, person believes that he failed because he as not measured up to his own hopes and expectations and this has a more damaging effects

B] OBJECTIVE FAILURE :- This failure is judged by others which becomes more damaging when judgment is made by person who are important to the individual.

Now let me clarify the reasons by considering above types of failure these are as follows.

1] Unfavorable environmental influence During Childhood |- This is the most dangerous reason than any other reasons epically in the home, if child is always criticized, discouraged, nagged, overprotected and has improper – a] Love n affection, b]imbalanced & improper motivation, encouragement, inspiration & determination. When child lacks in these areas he will definitely have problems with – Targets(goals), will-power, endurance, persistence, sustainability & tolerance; Which are the basic elements to have success or failure and if child has problems in these areas then more problems will occurs in professional, personal & social life & career – That’s why its most dangerous.

2] ILL HEALTH |- Over-eating, wrong eating habits, Smoking, drinking, tobacco and so on ; these things damages the nerves and gastrical coordination and hence every body part gets affected badly and at times very slowly.

3] Procrastination |- It means that the person always thinks that “right time will come…” forget, time will never be, just do it right now, start where you stand, work whatever you can or whatever tools you have. In other words procrastination is the ability to put things off or not able to take initiatives. Procrastinated person is not a poor starter actually he doesn’t start anything.

4] LACK OF PERSISTENCE |- Means lacking in endurance- sustenance and patience area. We know people who are good starters & poor finishers or trying multiple this several times. It has no substitute and are prone to defeat.

5] INDECISION |- Its inability to take decisions or fail to take decisions. Procrastination & indecision are twin brothers and work together.

6] SELF-DECEIT |- Here, people are very indifferent or lazy to acquire facts with which they require to think accurately; these peoples prefer to acts on their own opinion created by guesswork without any judgment & this is bad for success and decisions.

7] Other common reasons are –a] Lack of ambition b] Insufficient knowledge, education and discipline, c] over caution, prejudice, intolerance, wrong selection, vanity, ego-dominance, criticism, hatred, lack of enthusiasm & efforts.

If you are a parent please think seriously on reason first coz it’s a root and the base element and what ever you are think it all.

Analyze yourself, you’ll get more help at brendynamics.com/gr

About Author : Nilesh Gore :
Professionally author is graphologist & psychological counselor, founder of braindynamic.com & involved in Personality Assessment, personality Development, helping people managing their strengths & weaknesses through expensive SWOT analysis and personality tests.He is also working on ‘Graphotherapy’ i.e. managing emotional health via handwriting. He has also written several articles for several websites. you can contact him on following addresses.

Email : mailto:ng411002@rediffmail.com ng411002@rediffmail.com

Web : braindynamic.com” target=”_new braindynamic.com
Country : India, Bhusaval, Ms
Copyrights : © Nilesh B Gore

Have you ever set aside time to work on an important project, only to find yourself distracted and unfocused? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You begin to wonder how you will ever get your major projects completed. There is a more effective way to use your time.

Most busy professionals and business owners spend their days attending to the needs of others. Important projects that will move your career or business to the next level are often put on the back burner. You often get to these at the end of the day, if you get to them at all.

When I work with a coaching client to achieve more success and reduce her stress, I assist my client to identify the times she is most effective at accomplishing particular tasks. For example, most people are at their creative best and are most productive between the hours of 7:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. That is the time you should be blocking out to work on major projects. Yet, what do most professionals and business owners do during that period of time? Check email, return phone calls, and conduct meetings.

You can use your time much more wisely. When you have an important project to complete, try setting aside at least 90 minutes for yourself daily between 7:00 and 10:00 a.m. To maximize that time with yourself, get plenty of sleep the night before, workout or take a brisk walk to your office, eat breakfast, and settle in for heightened productivity! You will be amazed at what you get accomplished!

Small business and life coach, Sabrina Schleicher, Ph.D., helps you work smarter, experience more success, and have more fun! Get your FREE e-course: 7 INSIDE SECRETS OF ELITE PERFORMERS at tapthepotential.com tapthepotential.com

In our fast-paced society many people are completely overwhelmed and often feel their lives as being empty and meaningless. Every day looks like “Groundhog Day” repeating over and over again the same patterns and you wonder why. In average we are thinking 60,000 thoughts a day, but the real problem is we are repeating the same thoughts thus getting the same results. We are living our lives mostly based on fear and obligation.

In our society we were trained for the “Survival of the Fittest”, were told what to think and to live up to the expectations of others around us. Whose life do you live? Did you ever ask that question? The good news is that there is much more to life than we realize in our daily hectic schedule! We are driven by the effects in our outer world which we created in the first place. You probably heard it already: The Law of Attraction. We attract into our lives what we think and feel about all day long. No exception. If your thoughts are focusing all day long on the lack you believe you have that is what you are getting: More lack! The Law of Attraction works and matches your predominant thoughts bringing into your life the things of the same kind of energy your thoughts are. Thoughts become things! You are in control! Unfortunately most of us are always running on autopilot. In other words we are sub-consciously thinking based on our belief-system and our conditioning of the past! Our mind is set up in a way to always recognize patterns and follow them.

A Life based on Inspiration is the total opposite of fear and obligation. It means you live based on Joy and Love. Your whole world around you is going to change once you reached that stage and there will be no more that feeling of emptiness. Why do we feel empty and often lonesome anyway? Because in our belief-system we anchored that we all are separate beings disconnected form each other. That’s what we call our “reality”, but it is only the effects created by us in the outer world triggering that feeling. By no means are we “disconnected”; in fact we are all connected together and of course we are connected to “Source-Energy”, to all that is or in other words to God. It is only the perception we have that leads us into this feeling of being “lonesome”.

The fact by itself that you are reading this article is already a sign that you are becoming aware of your connectedness, becoming aware that your life has a purpose to it beyond your imagination. What does Inspiration mean? It means being “In Spirit”! You never lost connection; you are just not tuned in to it. We are all so mind-driven and this chatterbox is making noise all day long telling us what to do, but always form this place of fear and obligation. We must become still to become aware of Inspiration or the voice of your true Self. Your Ego is standing right in your way making you believe that your ego is you. Nothing could be more far away from the truth.

The mystics were teaching all that thousands of years ago already and now it is the first time in the history of mankind that we have access to a science that proves the mystics right! And this science is Quantum Physics. The energy of our thoughts is attracting the very things into our lives we think about. The energy of our thoughts determines whether we are living an inspired life or not.

How could you benefit from a life based in Inspiration instead?

When you are inspired you have access to your true power inside and your mind transcends any limitations. Your Consciousness is expanding beyond measure and you find yourself in a new world. Suddenly your hidden talents and gifts, which make you so unique, become alive. You discover that you are by far a greater person than your ego allowed you to be and that you ever dreamt of. You will find that you are OK the way you are, because you are already the most beautiful version of yourself you possibly can imagine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: We are very near to greatness: one step and we are safe; can we not take the leap?”

Sure you can take that leap, it only requires that you make this conscious choice to personally grow and expand yourself to the greatness you truly are.

Walter H. Groth founded the Institute for Life and Career Transition truelifepurpose.com truelifepurpose.com with offices in Laguna Beach and Munich. We specialize in Teaching and Coaching Businesses and Individuals the Power of Personal Growth and how to leverage this with a “Life-Strategy” and down to earth steps and actions to take to reach your goals. Your success in Life and Business can only grow to the degree you personally grow!

If you believe also have a lot more potential than your real world success shows, please contact us mailto:info@truelifepurpose.com info@truelifepurpose.com and we will be happy to explain our process to you.

Check it out => truelifepurpose.com truelifepurpose.com

“You must drop that name, ‘Ragged Dick’, and think of yourself now as “Richard Hunter, Esq.”

-From Ragged Dick, by Horatio Alger

These are the closing lines from Ragged Dick, Horatio Alger’s first rags-to-riches story. Its publication in 1867 would be followed by 133 similar books written over a thirty-three year span. The stories were meant to be inspirational and to offer not only hope, but a blueprint for success to thousands of impoverished American and immigrant boys. In that regard they succeeded admirably and ended up stamping self-reliance indelibly on the American psyche.

Alger was an unlikely teller of such tales. New England bred, Harvard educated and well traveled through Europe, he was unprepared for the squalor he found in New York City. He had moved there in 1866 to restart a writing career that, to this point, had lacked both focus and success. Upon arriving, he was immediately drawn to the plight of the over 60,000 orphaned and abandoned children fending for themselves on the city streets. They earned small amounts of money by shining shoes, peddling newspaper or selling notions. At night they slept in boxes or under stairwells or in the street. They were completely on their own. As he interacted with these children, Alger became convinced that there was one key variable that determined if a child would overcome his circumstances or be overwhelmed by them. That variable was character.

Alger believed not only that good character was a prerequisite for success, but that it could be developed in anyone. The first requirement of character is confidence. For Alger, people succeed who believe they can succeed. Neither hard work nor strong moral values can propel someone through adversity who sees themselves as a victim of circumstance. Such people lack the will to succeed because they expect to fail. The second requirement is absolute integrity. In Alger’s world there are no ethical shades of gray. The demand is for scrupulous honesty coupled with a willingness to look out for someone even less fortunate. It means always telling the truth and never collaborating with deceit through silence. Finally, character requires perseverance. You must never give up or run from a challenge. Despite the odds you must press on in pursuit of a good end. And perseverance shouldn’t be grim. Instead, it should be a cheerful and optimistic look to the future—to the certainty of better times.

Alger was sometimes criticized because his characters usually succeed after some lucky break or encounter. In this case, Ragged Dick is finally launched on the path to becoming a gentleman when he dives into the river to save a wealthy man’s child. But Alger’s point was that people of strong character make their own luck. Luck is a matter of being ready when opportunity knocks. People with character have made themselves ready to be lucky.

It’s easy to dismiss Alger’s strive and thrive message as naïve or simplistic. But the belief that character can be developed in anyone and that with character any obstacle can be overcome was powerful tonic for hundreds of thousands of dirt poor kids. It was their success formula and it worked. It can work for us too.

About the Author:

George Ebert is the President of

What if you can be, do or have anything you want, what would you desire in your life?

Now do you believe it can happen? Yes? No? In the words of Henry Ford, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

Well then what actually happens for those people who do seem to get everything they desire?

Let’s take a closer look.

For one, they know what they want. They do not give up when what they want does not happen. They keep moving forward. Everything they do is a success, because they don’t see the results they are getting as failure. They are more educated and know what works and what doesn’t. They press on!

They are focused. If you have ever seen any professional sports players you know what focused people look like. Take a football player for example. I will use a line backer for this example. A line backer has to know where the runner is going and he has got to make split decisions as to what he is going to do. He is not thinking about what he is going to eat for dinner, he is not thinking about what his kids are doing, or what his next vacation is going to be. No, he is thinking about reading the runner and getting to the point where the runner is going to be and tackling him.

What are you thinking about throughout the day? What do you think 30 days of focus would do for you in accomplishing your goal? I think it could have a huge impact.

They know how to separate what is and what is not important. We have so many decisions to make everyday. We sometimes lose track of what day it is because of the number of things that we think about everyday. How many times have you started to work on something, and then you get a call from a friend to go out for lunch. You know you need to finish what you are doing. However, you find yourself saying, well, I have not seen my friend in two weeks, but I need to get this done. You then decide to go out to lunch with your friend and end up spending more time at lunch than you wanted. So now you are behind and have to stay back late in office and miss your child’s game.

When you are able to separate what is important from what is not, you will find yourself accomplishing your goals a lot faster, and find yourself doing more of what you want to do rather than things you have to do.

They are committed. When it takes more than six months to accomplish a goal, people who are committed will stay the course to the very end. Most people want their goals accomplished in a week. Yes, there are short term goals; however, I am talking about long term goals. When you have a long term goal it can get a little overwhelming when things don’t seem to be moving as fast as you would like. However, taking the time to see the big picture will help you stay focused and keep you motivated.

Whatever goal you are looking to accomplish, take these 4 qualities and incorporate them into your action plan. If you have found yourself starting something and never finishing it, look into getting a coach, or mentor to help you stay on course.

Anthony Treas is a life coach, motivational speaker, mentor, and soon to be published author (Nov. 05’). Anthony provides mentor coaching by providing support that allows his clients to discover their full potential. For more information visit: activateyourpotential.com Activate Your Potential Institute

A Yale University study a few years ago revealed that the average child is scolded – criticized – over 20,000 times between the ages of two and ten. Mom says, “No, Charlie – don’t touch that!” Or a teacher says, “Jackie, that’s not the way to do it!” All those “Nos” and “shouldn’ts” add up to a predisposition toward self-criticism that we must look at before we can truly change our lives.

Self-criticism is a major barrier to change.

Since we’ve all been “taught” to doubt our abilities and our judgement, it’s no wonder that our brain constantly feeds back to us those negative thoughts, even when there’s no outside critic present. Doesn’t that also explain why, when we fail at something, it’s hard to try again? Of course. Our inner critic tries to tell us that we can NEVER do that or be that!
This article begins with a technique for learning how to “hear” your inner critic clearly…an exercise in “hearing.” Then we’ll look at how you can redirect your brain — to silence the inner critic — and then to set it up with new messages that are not negative, damning or damaging.

The first job is to locate that “inner voice.” Your first move here is to discover exactly where that voice is coming from inside your brain.
As you enter one of those moments when your head tells you something like “What if I mess up?” — immediately close your eyes (this is important, you need to cut yourself off from other stimuli) and tell yourself, “I’m listening to my head talk.” Ask yourself, “Where is the voice located in my head?” Is it in the front of your skull or at the back? Behind your eyes? Between your ears? Low in the brain just above your spinal column? You’ll get an impression, I guarantee it.

When you’ve located the source, open your eyes and write down the words you’re hearing…or, if you’re more of an auditory person, say the words you’re hearing OUT LOUD so that you can hear them coming in from an external source. This may sound crazy, but locating your inner voice will actually make it easier to tune in to it and to get it out of the way as you replace the old thoughts with new ones.

Once you’ve located the source of the inner critic, begin to listen to the vocabulary of the criticisms. What are the words themselves? Are you hearing EXTREME words like ALWAYS, NEVER, EVERYBODY, NOBODY…? These extreme words are ABSOLUTES. You got them years ago, but they don’t serve you now. What’s going to work will be RELATIVE words, as we’ll show you a bit later.

Are you hearing NEGATIVE words like CAN’T, SHOULDN’T, WON’T or WOULDN’T…? These words only need to be eliminated. They don’t need to be replaced with positive words, only with positive feelings…again, we’ll get into that more a little later.

One suggestion…consciously slow down the rate of your inner critical speech. This way you’ll hear it all more clearly, and you’ll be able to focus more easily on the painfulness of each individual word.

Now listen to the tone of voice of your inner critic. I’ll bet that it sounds belittling, condescending, critically harsh and abrasive. Right? Where do you think all that came from…not only the words, but also the tone? You’ll be working on modifying that inner voice to be gentler, softer, kinder, more encouraging, less discouraging. But first we’ve got to reach the negative stuff and cut it off.

What I’m describing now is, of course, a process. You’re not going to be able to silence your inner critic in a moment, nor will you be able to open up to positive thoughts after all these years of negative stuff.
Maybe you could benefit from writing down your inner critic’s statements in a little notebook. Jot down the situation in which the thoughts occurred, the wording of the thoughts, your remarks about the tone of the thoughts…and don’t forget to note the date and time. You’ll soon be surprised to notice just how often these critical thoughts arise!

The basic cut-off technique, though, is to pay attention to those negative thoughts and, as soon as one begins, instruct your brain to say, “STOP!” If you’re alone, saying “STOP” out loud is even more powerful. And the faster you interrupt, the better. By the way, say only “STOP!” If you go further, it may be to say, “STOP, STUPID…there I go again, why can’t I get this right? Won’t I ever learn?” Guess what…you won’t make progress by cutting off a negative thought with another negative thought! The point here is that you need to be hard on your negative thoughts but not hard on yourself. Take it easy, but be firm with your errant mind. Just say “STOP!”
Now that you know how to stop the thought process, you need a tool for re-programming your mind so that the thought doesn’t come back again later. The answer is to switch your thinking, immediately. Distract your mind. Think about something neutral, like your thumbnail, the pen in your hand…something that doesn’t have any negative charge on it. Even better, if you can, substitute a positive thought. My favorite, one I use virtually every day, is “I’m part of the solution.” This, of course, is the answer to the negative thought that IS the PROBLEM!

Eventually you’ll probably be able to anticipate your negative thoughts. You’ll see them coming before they arrive. Sometimes negative thinking is a function of your mood. You’ll begin to see this, too, as you go along, and when a downside mood creeps in you’ll be able to head it off at the pass with some positive stuff like:

· thinking about the things you like about yourself

· thinking about things you like to do

· thinking about your most recent triumph or accomplishment.

Gradually you’ll reverse the negative pattern. Just remember and do these three simple steps:

· listen to your thoughts…

· stop your thoughts…

· switch your thoughts…

…and you’ll find your way of thinking re-arranging itself. Soon you won’t have the negative thoughts as frequently. Eventually, you may extinguish them and discover yourself to be a thoroughly positive person.

Copyright 2002, 2005 Optimum Performance Associates/Paul McNeese.

Paul McNeese is CEO of Optimum Performance Associates, a consulting firm
specializing in transitional and transformational change for individuals
and institutions through publication. His publishing company,
OPA Publishing, is an advocacy for self-publishing authors of
informational, instructional, inspirational and insightful nonfiction.

Email: mailto:pmcneese@opapublishing.com pmcneese@opapublishing.com
Websites: opapublishing.com opapublishing.com and opapresents.com opapresents.com

Have you ever met someone that you consider to be, or to have been, a really good person? I would imagine that after a few moments of quiet reflection you could probably name at least a few. What character traits do you think describe a good man or a good woman in our society today? Perhaps words such as kind, thoughtful, generous, giving and unselfish top your list. If so, I would agree – these are traits we would all expect a good person to possess, but there’s got to be more to it – and there is.

Being generous, kind and thoughtful are certainly wonderful qualities, but I believe a genuinely good man or woman is also defined as someone who knows the difference between right and wrong and chooses to do what is right. Civil Rights activist, Dr. Martin Luther King summed it up well when he said, “Cowardice asks the question – is it safe? Expediency asks the question – is it politic? Vanity asks the question – is it popular? But conscience asks the question – is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular; but one must take it because it is right.”

Doing the right thing, whether in one’s personal or professional life, is not always the easiest thing to do. In the Old Testament, a ruler named King Hezekiah decided early in life that he was going to lead his people by doing what was right in the eyes of God. Even though he was criticized, laughed at and ridiculed, he did not compromise his conviction and consequently went on to be one of Judah’s most successful and respected kings.

A good man or woman does not concern themselves so much with doing the right thing as they do with being the right person. Actions alone do not reflect a person’s intent or motivation so one’s good deeds can actually serve selfish ambitions or desires. Although we can not always accurately perceive a person’s intent or motivation we can get a pretty good idea by looking at the consistency of their attitude.

The attitude of a good person is characterized by several distinct features.

1. Desires to help others achieve their goals in life
2. Is willing to put the needs of others before their own
3. Demonstrates respect for others no matter their position in life
4. Helps others without expecting anything in return
5. Refuses to compromise values for personal or professional gain
6. Possesses a willingness to forgive when harmed
7. Is committed to doing what is right even when it is not popular

Being a good person does not mean being perfect – we all blow it at times. It does however, mean that we have the ability to recognize when we blow it and, if necessary and possible, we do what it takes to make it right.

The most satisfying and effective relationships between co-workers, supervisors and subordinates, family members and friends are the result of people who choose to develop the attitudes of a good person.

Todd E. Linaman, Ph.D.

As the President and Founder of Relational Advantage, Inc., Dr. Linaman is committed to developing personal and organizational potential into a higher level of quality performance.

As a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a respected authority in the area of personal and professional development, Dr. Linaman has provided executive coaching, consultation, counseling and training to individuals and organizations throughout the United States.

Dr. Linaman has worked with corporate executives, business owners, attorneys, medical doctors and other professionals in his counseling and coaching practice. He is a national conference and seminar speaker and has authored numerous articles on personal and relational development topics. He has been featured as a relationship expert on national and local radio talk shows and local television news programs, and is co-author of the book Lessons Learned Looking Back: Strategies for Successful Living published by Broadman and Holman.