Recently, as I was surfing around the web, I found yet another website offering misguided, uninformed and irrelevant advice to people who are stressed, depressed or anxious. The site had the following advice for sufferers:

“Most people who become stressed, anxious or depressed do so because they are experiencing financial difficulties. Debt is a big problem for a lot of people, and many struggle to service debts because they are on a low income. Other factors include poverty, unemployment, and a feeling of worthlessness because financial aspirations haven’t been met. Money is one of the biggest causes of stress and depression in the Western world.”

It is a statement I have seen and heard from many people, from medical professionals to sufferers and of course, in many publications and websites. I’m sure you too will have either been told money is the root cause of your problems or heard it from various sources.

Identifying money as the root cause of stress, depression and anxiety is wholly inaccurate and completely wrong. Financial circumstances, no matter what they are, CANNOT cause you to become stressed, depressed and anxious. In fact, they have NOTHING to do with the root cause of these problems WHATSOEVER.

It is so easily proved it’s amazing that some people believe otherwise.

If financial hardships and poverty cause people to enter into an episode of mental trauma, then everyone who is poor, is in debt, or earns a low income must, by definition, be stressed, depressed or anxious. You are saying that if you are poor you must be stressed, depressed or anxious. Agreed?

Following on from this, logic would then dictate:

If you are wealthy, without debt and earning a high income, you cannot be depressed, stressed or anxious because the root cause doesn’t exist in your life.

To simplify: Poverty causes stress, depression and anxiety. Wealth does not.

Clearly, reality is greatly at odds with this.

Not everybody who has debts, earns a minimum wage, is poor and endures financial hardship is stressed, depressed or anxious. Indeed, many people throughout the world live in extreme poverty and yet they’re happy. Like me, I’m sure you know people who have very little but are perfectly happy with their lives.

And let’s not forget that many famous, wealthy people also suffer from stress, depression and anxiety. Abraham Lincoln, Rod Steiger, Winston Churchill, Robbie Williams are names that spring immediately to mind. In my own case, I reached my lowest point having paid off all of my debts including the mortgage and having more assets than ever before in my life.

None of it mattered to me at all.

The last line also gives an insight into how self-worth doesn’t derive from financial success. I drove a $25,000 sports car, owned two houses outright and had many investments and yet I felt life had nothing for me, that having lost everyone and everything I ever loved I’d completely ruined my life beyond repair and I just couldn’t take anymore.

So you can see, financial hardship does not and cannot cause you to become stressed, depressed or anxious. And financial success doesn’t mean that you’ll be free from mental trauma. That’s because the root cause as to why anyone enters into an episode of stress, depression and anxiety is because they perform flawed, harmful modes of thinking to make sense out of the circumstances they are faced with.

Address the modes of thinking at the root of these problems and you’ll take a giant stride towards conquering stress, depression and anxiety whether you’re as poor as a church mouse or as wealthy as a King.

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

Former anxiety sufferer Chris Green is the author of “Conquering Stress”, the internationally acclaimed program which will help you to permanently conquer stress, depression and anxiety without taking powerful drugs. For more information please click here => conqueringstress.com conqueringstress.com

Stress and Anger…Is there anything more required to destroy an individual? In an effort to destroy the opponent, you will destroy yourself! Anger is a mighty weapon of destruction! All your positive faculties are destroyed in an instant- that is the potentiality of the trait called anger. It ebbs within you along with stress and erupts out like a volcano! It is the tsunami of negative human emotions. Even the mighty dam cannot control it.

The human history, full of bloodshed is asking a crying question- how to make this world peaceful and beautiful? Eyes full of understanding, heart full of love and the life refusing conflicts- enough, that is enough!

Turn the pages of history again. It is the angry Kings, the angry generals, the angry statesmen and politicians who caused the wars and planned the destruction of humanity! Most of the murders were committed in a fit of anger and stress! When you are overstressed, you lose sense of proportion, and anger overtakes you. Within seconds, you commit an act for which you have a lifetime to regret!

Do you like an individual with an angry disposition? Never! Would you like to marry an overstressed angry boy?

Boy, would you like to marry an overstressed angry girl? Well, I know the answer!

Here is an intelligent saying: “Temper is very valuable; do not lose it.” Make a poster out of it, and display it in a prominent place in your office or at your home.

Stress and anger management is not a difficult proposition to achieve, provided you have the will power to achieve it. Sit in a quiet corner, and peep into your own self. Analyze your personality. Note ‘to do’ and ‘not to do’ things- the ’should have done’ and ’should not have done’ things. That will be a good start to your initiative to conquer anger.

Are you angry with me for daring to tell you something positively about getting angry? I hope you are not. But if you do not follow my humble submissions, I will definitely be angry with you! And you be only stressed! So, for once let me give you the taste of your own medicine!

To get detailed information on aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/ stress, aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/blogs/0.htm stress management and other stress management tips & resources visit aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/ aboutstressmanagement.com/stressrelief/

I would like to talk to you about how coaching can benefit you, and the superb training I have received with Rivas Palmer in the UK. Initially I first received coaching in 1994, whilst working in the Financial Services sector, and coaching enabled me to prioritise my goals, as well as boost my self-esteem and increasing my confidence levels.

My coach helped me to recognise and identify my deep-rooted concerns, and the fear that accompanied them.

We would set specific goals, with time periods set for their accomplishments, and review them on a weekly basis for an hours session. I would always be make it clear that I would not judge the client, criticise, nor offer solutions.

We would take each goal separately, by looking at the reality of each situation, and exploring by digging deep to see how the reality of each situation was affecting my attitude to move forward.
We would then explore the options the client came up with, and prioritise which ones were most important, and be ready to take action.

I would then ask;”How committed are you to doing this task on a scale of 1-10 ?” If they said 10, I know they were serious about moving forward. If they said 7 or 8, I would ask; “What would need to happen to make it a 10?” It may be overcoming fear of rejection, for example.

Achieving results from coaching is about taking positive action on those key areas that have been decided upon, with confidence and commitment. I would then follow up on those actions in the next session, to establish whether those actions had indeed been taken. If the tasks had not been done, I would challenge them and ask why.

This could have alot to do with motivation, the fear being that the client does not really want to perform the tasks to move forward, or perhaps being gripped by fear.

My job as a coach would then be to review the options with the client, to establish whether they were in deed beneficial to the clients progress or goal, and see if we can approach ina more confident way.
On the positive side, if the client has achieved the tasks, I would then offer praise to the client, and encourage rewarding themselves, because they had taken the necessary action to move their lives forward in a positive direction.

In summary, coaching for success is a process, and requires patience and understanding both from the coach and client, in order to experience change, and to get them to where they want to be. I am able to use my life experiences and coaching skills to successfully coach clients from all walks of life.

Danny Anderson
healthyheartcoach.com www.healthyheartcoach.com

Normally a long memory is an advantage but not if you keep programming your mind with ‘tapes’ of past failures.

Abraham Lincoln must have had a short memory for his past failures. Many self-help books list the many failures he experienced throughout his life before he became one of the greatest presidents America has ever known.

He failed in business and in politics several times, yet he was still confident enough to stand for President. If he had focused his mind and memory on his past failures, he would never have stood for election.

More recently one of England’s greatest rugby captains realized the importance of a short memory. England had a record which included many abject defeats by other rugby nations but they managed to forget about their failures and went on to win the rugby world championship in November 2003.

Martin Johnson, considered by many to be the greatest captain that English rugby has ever had, helped his team win that championship in 2003. He knew how important it was to forget past defeats.

He has now retired from international rugby but recently advised the English team to forget their first two defeats in the six nations’ championship in February 2005. England (despite being world champions) have made their worst start for years.

He advised: “You’ve got to get over it. I remember losing against Wales. After the game I thought I’m never going to think about that game again. You’ve got to have a short memory or you will get beat again.”

Too many of us reflect endlessly upon our failures. It is not surprising that our dismal thoughts lead to more dismal experiences. You get whatever you focus on whether it is good or bad. Some people replay their failures for years and years and even end up killing themselves. They cannot stand the endless regret.

Instead, we need to empty our minds and memories of past failures and fill them constantly and consistently with visions of future success. We need to make these visions as real and as vivid as we can. Our subconscious will then start to help us achieve these visions.

If you keep counting the number of times you failed to achieve what you planned to do, your future will simply replay past failures.

The two goal kickers on the team had let England down by missing some fairly easy goal kicks. Johnson did not advise their replacement.

Instead, he advised the England coach to put the two men on the next team list in order to boost their confidence. He knew the huge difference that confidence can make to anyone’s performance. Confidence can transform the way some one plays. Johnson believed these players could forget their failures and do better. He was right.

Any player can have a bad game. Dropping them from the next game is not always a good idea for them or their team. They will inevitably lose confidence and have more time to reflect on the past mistakes that lost them their place on the team.

However, England are still planning to draft in a great Rugby League forward as a possible replacement kicker. It is always worth having back up!

When an interviewer described Martin as a great player, he answered: “I wouldn’t class myself as a great player. I would class myself as quite a hard working player.”

Hard work was one key to his greatness. He never let up even when the team looked like losing. Victory came in the last minute in the world championship in November 2003.

Johnson also had a great bias towards action. In discussions with his coach he would often end the conversation with the words ‘Let’s get on with it then’.

Martin Johnson teaches a great recipe for success:

Forget your past failures; have confidence in your future; work hard up to the last possible minute and don’t waste too much time talking – just get on with it.

About the author

John Watson is an award winning teacher and martial arts instructor. He has recently written two books about achieving your goals and dreams. They can both be found on his website motivationtoday.com motivationtoday.com along with a daily motivational message.

The title of the first book is “36 Laws To Ignite Your Inner Power And Realize Your Dreams Now!” The book can be found at this URL motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php

The book uses acronyms, stories and pictures to help readers remember 36 laws that can gradually transform your life.

You are welcome to publish the article above in your ezine so long as you do not alter it and keep in the words about the author and the 36 Laws.