God’s mercy is available unto all men. God showed mercy to all men in the death and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. All man must do is turn from his wicked ways and receive. it.

God makes his mercy available to men through covenants. Man must come to God based on a covenant agreement in order to receive mercy.

When Israel would turn from God they would go into captivity every time. Nothing has changed. Any time man turns from God he goes into captivity, which makes him a candidate for God’s mercy. All he must do is repent and receive it.

Israel would cry unto God and because of a covenant that He made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, he would deliver Israel. They would walk before God for a generation or so and then a generation would rise up that knew not the Lord. They would go back into captivity.

There are Christians today that have this same problem. The good news is that every time that they truly repent and return to God, His mercy awaits them. The mercy of the Lord endureth forever. What does it endure? Man’s sin.

Notice Deuteronomy 7:9-11, “Know therefore that the Lord thy God, He is God, the faithful God which keepth covenant and mercy with them that love Him and keep His commandments to a thousand generations and repayeth them that hate him to there face to destory them, he will repay and not be slack to him that hateth Him. God would much rather shed His mercy on people than His wrath according to James 2:13, “Mercy rejoiceth against judgment.”

James 4:7-10 called the twelve tribes of Israel to repentance because they were headed for judgment instead of mercy. “Submit yourselves, therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you. cleanse your hands ye sinners; and purify your hearts ye double-minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let you laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

When he said cleanse your hands he is referring to wrong doings, when he said purify your hearts ye double-minded he is referring to tongue. Remember what James 1:7 says about the double-minded, “For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

Jesus said the same thing in Matthew 11:28, come unto me all ye that labor and are of heavy laden and I will giver you rest. The tongue will laden one down.

Psalms 86:15-16 states, “But thou O Lord art a God full of compassion and gracious, longsuffering and plenteous in mercy and truth. O turn unto me and have mercy upon me; give thy strength unto thy servant and save the son of thine hand maid. Shew me a token for good that they that hate me may see it, and be ashamed, because Thou Lord has holpen me and comforted me.”

When man turns to God He will shed His mercy on him for all to see. Mercy and repentance go hand and hand, you cannot have one without the other. Repentance automatically brings God’s mercy.

Read the entire ebook Glory Follows at: gloryfollows.com gloryfollows.com

Fred Fishburne and his wife are owners of a successful health store in McDonough, Ga., since 1994, specializing in combining supplementation and proper nutrition for optimal health benefits.

They have served the Lord since 1980, the last twenty one years have been in the same church. Visit at: prohealthnut.com prohealthnut.com to read health articles.

As life coaching is gaining popularity, so is interest in becoming a life coach. Many people love the idea of working for themselves and being in a profession that helps others. If you are thinking about becoming a life coach, there are several factors you need to consider.

First, decide what type of life coach you want to become. The word “life” covers a lot of territory so life coaches tend to specialize in specific areas. These areas include career and finance, goal setting, relationships, weight loss/fitness and drugs and alcohol, just to name a few.

What is your passion and how do you want to inspire others to create success in their lives?
When thinking about what type of life coach you want to be, examine your career, education and life experience to find your current strengths.

Once you have an idea of what area you want to focus on, consider what a life coach does. This is tricky because there is no one definition or universal standard so several interpretations exist. You need to develop a format in which you will teach successful actions to your clients.

A qualified life coach can break down goals into manageable, easier to confront steps while showing the client effective techniques for completing them. Just knowing what and how is not enough because clients often get in their own way. The life coach will evaluate their progress and motivate them to implement a plan with consistent action to actually achieve desired results. Before you begin on this path, know that there is a difference between understanding what to do and being able to get someone to do it.

There are three essential elements involved in becoming a life coach and they are training, skills and education. When it comes to training, there are many life coaching academies that offer courses and some even offer accreditation. Many of these courses have actual and practical value. Please note that there is no federal or state agency that has an accreditation for life coaching and schools offering degrees are self-accredited.

If you are considering taking any of these courses first look into the costs involved. Often an inexpensive introductory course is offered only to get you started. Since costs can add up quickly, check into the length of time, the number of additional courses required and make sure to get referrals from other students. Another important point to check for first is whether or not the school provides adequate tools for practical application when working with clients. This will be very helpful for beginners in developing step-by-step methods for life coaching.

There are a few key skills that are absolutely essential. For starters, you need to be a good listener, a creative problem solver and have considerable knowledge of human behavior. You need to be able to set goals and develop plans of action to actualize them. Life coaching requires that you are organized and can keep meticulous attention to detail to monitor weekly results.

Patience and the ability to deal with frustration are critical. Clients don’t always do what they agree to do and getting people to suddenly give up destructive behavior patterns can be a real challenge. You need to know how to motivate and be creative in overcoming obstacles and objections. You have to really like and care about people. You must also be able to accept failure as not all clients will change. There are a few more skills involved but these are fundamental.

A life coach should love education in order to stay informed of current advances and trends. The areas that require consistent study are psychology, goal setting, motivation, cognitive psychology, cognitive science, human behavior, habits of successful people, sleep patterns, relationships, business principles, principles of success, career development, drugs, alcohol, leadership, sales and more. A life coach is a relentless student of these subjects.

Life coaching is a proactive approach to resolving obstacles in an individual’s life and it requires a clear picture of not only why and how, but also of step-by-step implementation and the ability to resolve blocks and setbacks as they come up. You’ll need to combine these factors into a working platform to assist your clients in reaching their goals.

Finally, when you are ready to start life coaching, how are you going to get clients? The idea of working for yourself and helping people may sound great, and it is but it comes with its difficulties. You are not going to simply get business cards made then start filling your appointment book. Schools offering great careers as life-coaches will only be able to give you limited assistance in getting clients. After you spend your time and money either with a life coaching school or developing your own style of life coaching it will be up to you to get clients. You are one hundred percent responsible for your income and success.

You should enjoy networking and self-promoting. You can build a clientele through friends, networking groups, placing ads, professional relationships, and whatever other creative ways you can think of. As you get clients and earn a reputation, your business will grow through referrals. All this takes time, so be prepared.

As you are developing your business, you will have to overcome the obstacle of people questioning what a life coach does. Be prepared by asking yourself why someone would pay you to advise him or her and have a good answer. The answer you develop to that question will be the foundation for your success.

After considering all of these factors, if you decide to become a life coach you will be entering a dynamic field. Being able to actually help people create the life changes they want is a highly rewarding and exciting career. You’ll be helping others gain success while creating your own!

About The Author- As a life coach, Devlyn has made helping people find ways to improve their lives his personal mission and passion. He is a public consultant, a private counselor, an author and creator of Tools To Life. He has hosted his own radio shows called “Tools To Life” and “Love beat” and has been a guest on over 150 various shows. You can read his articles and advice all over the internet. Devlyn has often been referred to as “America’s Leading Life-Coach.” For free E-books and more information visit DevlynSteele.com DevlynSteele.com Send Questions To: mailto:CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com CoachSteele@ToolsToLife.com.

To be happy or feel good about anything you need to feel good about yourself. The feeling of self-respect and personal worth is the greatness asset anyone can ever have.

When we hear the word self esteem we know what it means (hopefully). But how many people have a good level of self esteem to carry through their lives? Going by the definition of Self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden- Self esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It consists of two components:

1) self-efficacy — confidence in our ability to think, learn, choose, and make appropriate decisions;
2) self-respect — confidence in our right to be happy; and in the belief that achievement, success, friendship, respect, love and fulfillment are appropriate to us.

Self-esteem is indispensable to anyone who wishes to succeed in anything. It is definitely not all you require but without it the battle cannot be won. Like Mind Juice, it inspires us to achieve and allows us to take pleasure and pride in our achievements. For us to be able to cope with daily challenges and development it is quite essential to believe that, we have the capacity to achieve what we need and deserve happiness in life. As simple as that may sound, it is not automatic. It is a choice you have to make and nurture all day of your life. It takes more than a change of scene; it requires a change of perspective.

It quite surprising is how quick we are to accept negative judgment and how serious our lack of faith in ourselves can become. If I have decided to change my look by dying my hair to blonde from black. I should expect to hear- “What is wrong with your hair?”, “oh no! Why did you?”, “Please, tell me it’s washable” or more ridiculous comment from people. Change is never instantly accepted. The truth is that how I wear my hair does not determine my integrity, its just a way expressing my creativity. So do not be scared to appreciate yourself. Express yourself, love yourself and celebrate yourself. Even when you do not get the support you need-Just do it! You would not feel praises, if you cant praise yourself. If you do not believe in yourself then forget true happiness. People are different- “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”- Mahatma Gandhi

If you look around in real sense, you will see that self-esteem is an idea whose time has come. We now live in a global economy characterized by rapid change, accelerating scientific and technological breakthroughs, and an unprecedented level of competitiveness. You cannot afford to remain clueless. You should not be found on a low esteem track at any given time. The society is not waiting for those that needs to be dragged along. You got to catch the bus on your own. The world needs people to roll their boat confidently.

An example is what is going on in organizations today. They don’t just need those who are qualified for the job. They want people with a higher level of independence, self-reliance, self-trust, and the capacity to exercise initiative. Basically, people with self-esteem. In order to play a bigger role in life, you need to visualize a bigger picture of yourself. Once you have that picture before you, it will be much easier for you to paint that picture into reality. That is simply build your from the inside.

There is no right way to regain your self esteem. Different people have their own version. Lets learn with these:

“Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
Over three decades of study and of working with people have persuaded me that there are six pillars on which health self-esteem depends.

1. Living Consciously. To live consciously is to be present to what we are doing; to seek to understand whatever bears on our interests, values, and goals; to be aware both of the world external to self and also to the world within.
2. Self-acceptance. To be self-accepting is to own and experience, without denial or disowning, the reality of our thoughts, emotions and actions; to be respectful and compassionate toward ourselves even when we do not admire or enjoy some of our feelings or decisions; to refuse to be in an adversarial or rejecting relationship to ourselves.
3. Self-responsibility. To be self-responsible is to recognize that we are the author of our choices and actions; that we must be the ultimate source of our own fulfillment; that no one is coming to make our life right for us, or make us happy, or give us self-esteem.
4. Self-assertiveness. To be self-assertive is to honor our wants and needs and look for their appropriate forms of expression in reality; to live our values in the world; to be willing to be who we are and allow others to see it; to stand up for our convictions, values, and feelings.
5. Living Purposefully. To live purposefully is to take responsibility for identifying our goals; to perform the actions that allow us to achieve them; to keep on track and moving toward their fulfillment.
6. Personal integrity. To live with integrity is to have principles of behavior to which we remain loyal in action; to keep our promises and honor our commitments; to walk our talk.”

Always remember–“Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.”- Bruce Barton.

This article is brought to you by Ola Olabimpe. A creative motivational writer for a FREE motivational self improvement ezine. She is a lover of quotes and would find lots of it in her writings.You can read and enjoy our weekly ezine on mindjuicezine.com mindjuicezine.com Mind juice is sent via email and the site is regularly updated with absolutely free and just about anything that has to do with self development! SO kick start every week with a handful of inspiration visit mindjuicezine.com mindjuicezine.com Now!

Coaching Creates lasting change. A Coach helps you to focus on what you want in life, helps you to plan, and finally put into action events that will get you there. A Coach provides the sounding board, the support, and the extra motivation to keep you on track. Most importantly, a Coach is always on your side.

Changes usually fail because we lack persistence; it’s too easy to fall back on old habits and the way we’ve always done things. For change to last, you need to break the old habit and replace it with a new and healthier one. A Coach provides the encouragement you need to keep persisting.

When we change, all those around us have to change too – and this can be hard for others to support. When we are trying to break out of old molds, sometimes those we love most try to hold us back – not because they don’t love us, but because most people fear change. A coach is an objective yet supportive partner in your efforts to change, especially when you need to create a supportive environment beyond your friends and family.

WHO CAN A COACH HELP?

Anyone who is willing to apply themselves, and wanting to grow. My most successful clients are willing to be 100% honest about themselves, and willing to dig deep. They are usually very courageous, and take action.

Coaching only works when you are motivated to try new ways of thinking, and are open to feeling ‘uncomfortable’ as new habits are formed. People who respond best to coaching are self-aware, enjoy personal growth, and willing to be honest with themselves.

WHY COACHING WORKS

It’s a Partnership not a Crutch!
A coach supports you, yet is independent. The relationship is equal, and respectful. Its not counseling or psychotherapy, the focus is always on what you want to achieve

There are Frequent Meetings and Structure.
Goals and direction are set and weekly reviews are made. It is very motivating, and amazing progress is made! Having accountability means that new habits are much easier to form and keep.

Focus is Holistic.
The aim is to strengthen all areas of your life and not just focus on the issue at hand. Life is much easier, and clearer, when in balance.

Better Goals are Set.
You set the goals you truly want, and are ready for. Higher goals are set because of the support and affirmation you get from the coach.

The work is Deep and Meaningful.
A coach helps you get to the source of what’s happening, instead of working on the surface symptoms. Coaches help you uncover the true issues at work.

You take Effective Action.
The focus is on awareness and action to create the life you want more quickly vs. being ‘busy’. Actions are chosen because they will have a profound impact on your goals, not just to have a hefty ‘to do’ list.

The Law of Attraction is Applied.
When you feel good about yourself, you begin to attract good things into your life, as opposed to chasing it or trying hard to get it. This is when you are in the ‘flow’.

HOW DOES A COACHING SESSION WORK?

A typical coaching session takes place face to face, or via telephone. Sessions are usually 45min to an hour. Conversations might centre around; What’s working and what’s not. Things you are currently stretching for and issues you would like to resolve. Any actions you are currently taking and actions you feel inspired to take in the future. Any barriers you feel resistance to and ways to overcome them.

Every session is focused on finding ways forward, not looking backwards.

Most Coaches offer free introductory sessions so that both Coach and “Coachee” can see if there is a good fit. When you talk to a Coach, have some goals prepared and see what sort of questions the Coach asks you, and whether you have a good ‘gut feel’ about how the session went. Its good to shop around and talk to several Coaches…I always do!

Elaine Hamilton Grundy, Life Coach and Reiki Master Teacher, has been teaching and speaking internationally since 1995 helping thousands of people through her workshops and personal consultations.

Elaine is teaching and coaching in Singapore. Please visit elainegrundy.com/ www.ElaineGrundy.com for more information on her classes and talks.

Lee (L.B.) Weiss (Sept. 21/25 – April 30/82)

My dad has been dead for almost half of my life, yet I think about him every day. I am grateful to have had a funny, loving and wonderful dad who left a legacy of decency and wisdom.

L.B. had a saying for almost any situation. Something about his style made these sayings stick, perhaps a combination of his humour, timing, cheeriness and innate common sense. After he died, many friends wrote our family, saying they will always remember L. B. for saying such-and-such. My mother compiled these snippets of wisdom, and when I reviewed them recently, I realized how much my dad had taught me about sales, coaching and leadership.

If any of the following touch you, please feel free to quote them as ‘L.B.isms’:

“THERE ARE MORE HORSES ASSES IN THIS WORLD THAN THERE ARE HORSES.”

This saying works for me on many levels, especially in work relationships. If I am dealing with someone who is acting badly, either being rude or inconsiderate or demanding, I try not to stay in their sphere. Following my dad’s advice, I give myself permission to only deal with people I like and respect.

This saying also reminds me not to be a horse’s ass myself (not always so obvious to me). A client who I adore recently canceled a seminar on the day it was to run. He had a number of good reasons for canceling, however, our agreement states that he pays me the full fee in this situation. As I was writing up the invoice, I felt uncomfortable, and my father’s saying popped into my head. I could have rightly charged the full fee, and felt like an ass for being petty when this client has given me so much business. Or I could do something different. I charged him half.

“THE LAST CHAPTER HASN’T BEEN WRITTEN ON NICKI.”

As I was misspending my youth (dropped out of university, lived in a teepee on one of British Columbia’s most beautiful gulf islands, picked apples and oysters), my father continuously reassured my mother that I would turn out OK.

I am grateful for my father’s confidence in me. He was able to see my potential when others couldn’t, and his assurance that I could do anything I wanted and be successful still resonates through me.

My father was a coach in the truest sense of the word. He saw his children, and our friends, bigger than we saw ourselves. He could clearly see a path for us, and told us what he saw. He saw that my kind sister who was good with her hands could be a wonderful occupational therapist, and that my brilliant sister-in-law could be an ace accountant. He told me to go into sales.

I was completely offended. Sales? He told me that when I was 20 years old. At the time, I thought sales was anti-intellectual, manipulative and boring. L.B. saw it differently. He told me I was a noodge and a noodnik (translation: a persistent pest). He told me I was a hard worker, smart, a good generalist, persuasive, talented with people, had people’s best interests in my heart, and liked variety. He told me that I would be wildly successful. After university (yes, I went back and finished), I remembered what he had said. I got my first sales job, and loved it.

“DIFFERENT IS EASY. GOOD IS HARD.”

L.B. had great instincts. He had an uncanny sense about new products that wouldn’t fly, a process that was too complicated, people who were a little too full of themselves, or a wheel that didn’t need reinvention.

He was a stickler for quality and competence. My father was a corporate accountant who always had a business on the side. One was a Baskin-Robbins ice cream parlor. He was constantly hiring and training teenagers to scoop ice cream that was exactly 2 ounces, to treat customers well, to not rip him off, to be able to count back change and to work hard. Regularly at the dinner table he talked about what constituted good work and what incompetence looked like.

He taught me that there are no short cuts to good; the only route is through repeated practice.

“NEITHER A BORROWER NOR A LENDER BE.”

My father taught his children to be self-reliant, to practice delayed gratification, and to not burn bridges by being in debt to others. “Pay cash” was his credo.

As kids, we were always running out of money. Our eyes were always bigger than our wallets. (I know lots of big kids today who have the same problem.) My father taught us the art of leading a balanced life, and the lesson that living debt-free would give us choices. He taught us that borrowing money from friends could wreck a friendship.

In this age of instant gratification, where bigger and more is better, I bless the wisdom he left me. It has never steered me wrong.

“WHAT’S A NICKEL OR A DIME WHEN YOU’RE OUT FOR A GOOD TIME?”

My father the accountant was always careful with money. Some may have called him cheap. Yet, whenever we were on vacation, he loved to live it up. He didn’t spend money in an extravagant way (he was a product of the Great Depression and World War Two), but in a cheery, life-affirming and fun way.

He always said to be generous to yourself and to others, particularly if you are down on your luck.

“I WISH SHE HAD THE COURTESY TO TREAT ME LIKE A STRANGER.”

My father would say this about his problematic mother-in-law. Apparently, my grandmother wasn’t always so nice to him.

This leadership principle is so amazingly simple. It says: ‘If you don’t like me you can be indifferent to me, but mean is unacceptable.’ I notice a fair amount of meanness in the workplace that takes the form of passive aggression. We’ve all seen it but maybe not put a name to it: gossip, withholding or not fully sharing information, criticizing management, and not supporting colleagues. We wouldn’t treat strangers like this.

“THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE AREN’T THINGS.”

This saying taught me to value my relationships above everything else, to depend on myself and to be accountable to others, to be decent, and to have fun.

I don’t want you to think I wasn’t given tons of things by my parents, because I was. However, I was conditioned from a very young age to believe that the world didn’t owe me a living. I was given a serious work ethic that I will always carry with me. If I want something, I go after it. I won’t step on people to get whatever it is, and I won’t cheat or steal, but I will work until I get it or don’t want it anymore.

What’s this got to do with sales, leadership, and coaching, Nicki?

I’m hoping that you see some value in my dad’s teachings and sayings, and that when you work, sell, manage, coach, and lead, you are a good example to those around you.

My dad lived with a spring in his step, integrity in his heart, and his own brand of humour. Your living example will be what ultimately makes you great as a sales manager/coach/leader.

Thanks, Dad.

Love,
Nud-nicki

About the Author

Nicki Weiss is an internationally recognized Certified Professional Sales Management Coach, Master Trainer, and workshop leader. Since 1992, Nicki has trained, certified, and/or coached more than 6,000 business executives, sales managers and salespeople.

Nicki guarantees increased sales performance when sales managers become better sales coaches. Sign up for her FREE monthly e-zine, Something for NothingTM, which has powerful tips and techniques for sales managers who are ready to make this transformation. Sign up at saleswise.ca saleswise.ca You can email her at mailto:nicki@saleswise.ca nicki@saleswise.ca or call 416-778-4145.

“Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.” ~ Helen Keller

Purpose

Do you know this person? He rises without hitting the snooze button. She works without complaining. He works longer and harder than anyone else. He always delivers on time. She gets there before anyone else. He cares little about the opinions of others. She consistently raises his own standards and expectations. He is not cowered or frightened by his circumstances – he is in control of his environment and his mind. If you know such a person, they are living on purpose. They have a Magnificent Obsession.

Paulo Coelho said, “But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it’s better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you’re fighting for.” People with a very specific and definite purpose are not easily phased or thrown off course. They are utterly reliable and focused. They do not make excuses. Their lives are meaningful. They know who they are and they don’t need anyone else’s permission, endorsement or acknowledgement – only their own.

Thomas Paine said, “The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow brave by reflection. ‘Tis the business of little minds to shrink; but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” He knew whereof he spoke. Purpose driven people pay the price of success gladly. They are warriors.

Unstoppable people are Eagles – they have goals and objectives and they are self reliant. They concur with Ayn Rand’s definition of Freedom: “To ask for nothing, to expect nothing, to depend on nothing.” And Freedom is usually their highest value. They enjoy strong self esteem and confidently pioneer new frontiers, never doubting their own ability. They don’t know how to turn tail, quit or compromise. It’s foreign to them. Eagles expect to win.

Someone with a purpose will know unprecedented peace, power and profit when they discover their own Magnificent Obsession and give themselves permission to win at all costs. They are strengthened by detours, obstructions and the mindless, seething masses. They see beyond the ordinary. They rise majestically above the quicksand of Collectivism and compromise.

Do you see this person in the mirror every morning? You can, you know.

About Robin J. Elliott

For more than 19 years, Robin J. Elliott has worked with thousands of businesses in over 49 industries across the United States, Canada, and Africa. He specializes in helping small business entrepreneurs build wealth and gain access to new markets and profit centers through Joint Ventures. Through his Joint venture Seminars across North America he has thought thousands how to create increasing, multiple streams of income without cost or risk and very little time.

jvwisdom.com/index.php/free_stuff Get Robin J. Elliott’s FREE: “How To Grow Serious Wealth Using Joint Ventures” Mini-Course, and The Prophet of Profit e-Zine along with video blogs, world class articles, free video, and access to top Joint Venture Partners at jvwisdom.com jvwisdom.com

Helping people clean out their closet is something I love to do. It helps me understand them by seeing what they have collected and what they hold on to. I find it satisfying to make order out of chaos. I sit on the bed as garments are brought out and displayed before me. The first few outfits I comment upon, declaring either, “Looks great, keep it.” “Needs repair, is it worth it?” or “Get rid of it”. After that, I find myself saying little else.

Once into the swing of thing, the closet owner begins decisively weeding out the
garments single-handedly. “I never liked this!” she cries. “Why have I been
hanging onto this?” she exclaims, tossing it aside. I lean against the headboard and
watch the discard pole grow. Earlier in the day, this vanquisher of closet clutter
was, no doubt, fearful about our appointment. Would I be abrasive? Would she be
embarrassed? Would she have to give away things she loved? What would she have
left to wear?

Fear might keep her from getting started, but with a little encouragement, she
throws herself into the task with gleeful abandon. One client commented: “When
we were going through my closet, I had two reactions – shock and relief. I realized
you have to tear down an old building before you can put a new building in its
place. It is called, ‘constructive destruction.’

The reason I enjoy cleaning out closets so much is because it is such a positive
thing to do.
The state of your closet is more related to your attitude that it is to your general
untidiness. You need to consider everything in the present time, from the shape of
your body to the needs of your lifestyle. Your closet must be a reflection of your
commitment to the present. The only items hanging in it should be thing you like
and feel good in. Not only should your closet contain only current favorites, but
should be arranged in a way that you know what is available to you. Updating
and organizing your closet is important; don’t skip it.

A stuffed closet is falsely comforting. If the clothes do not look good on you or do
not meet the needs of your lifestyle, then you will be faced with the daily frustration
of having nothing to wear and not understanding why. Even if the next time you go
shopping you are determined to buy something that expressed your spirit, adding a
few new outfits to the existing clutter is not a good practice. Buying something
wonderful will not make up for a closet filled with things you feel unhappy about.

If you think all the clothes hanging in your closet that you never wear are not
hurting anything, think again. Every time you see pants that do not fit or the dress
with the price tag still on it, you get a little electric shock of negative energy. The
’skeletons’ in your closet undermine you; they tear down your confidence. The only
solution is to get rid of them.

Clothes in your closet that are too small are the most destructive skeletons of all.
You might push them to the back of the closet determined not to try them on until
one morning, convinced that feeling this good can only mean you are thin. You try
them on and your cheerful mood deflates like a balloon. Or, rushing to get ready to
go our, your become so totally frustrated at nothing looking right that you put them
on, anyway, and spend the evening feeling pinched and miserable. Even if you do
not wear your clothes that are too small, every time you see them hanging in your
closet you will be reminded that you are ‘too fat”. It is time to get them out
of your closet!

Take everything that does not fit you right now out of your closet today. What you
do with them once they are out of the closet is not as important as the act of freeing
yourself from dealing with them on a daily basis. Trying on or wearing tight clothes
will not motivate you to lose weight: it will only demean you and tear down your
self-esteem. If it is too painful for you to get rid of them, put them in a second
closet or in the garage. If you do lose weight, you can retrieve your clothes from
your hiding place.

The second kind of ’skeleton’ in your closet is all the bad purchases you have never
worn. Just as wearing something too tight will not motivate you to lose weight, the
guilt you feel when you see a mistake hanging there will not prevent you from
making that mistake, again. Getting caught up in the excitement of purchasing
something, only to discover that you do not really wear it, happens to everyone.
There is no need to feel like a failure because eof it. When you are ready to face the
fact that it will never look right (or fit your lifestyle) clear it out of your closet and
make way for something better. Anything hanging in your closet that makes you
feel guilty when you look at it, has got to go.

Another, even more insidious form of sabotage is allowing your closet to stay in a
perpetual state of disorder and confusion. It guarantees that getting dressed will be
forever difficult and frustrating. Imagine trying to pain a masterpiece with a dirty
paintbrush, dried up tubes of paint, and a messy workspace. If your objective is to
look wonderful in the easiest and simplest way possible, then give yourself a break
by getting rid of the clutter and cleaning up the chaos.

When you are psychologically ready to tackle your closet, the only way to proceed is
to plunge right in. Set aside several hours and be sure to have a good, full-length
mirror in place. Your task is to take out every single item in your closet and return
only the ones that you truly like and enjoy wearing. This means you have to try
them all on. Be honest with yourself. Is the fit flattering? Does the color make you
feel healthy and alive? Have you worn it recently, and if so, did you feel good in it?
Go through everything and make a decision.

Whether you choose to have help or decide to got it alone, there will be certain
stumbling blocks that you should be aware of. Some items are going to me more
difficult to decide about than others. The types of clothing which are the toughest
to be objective about are sentimental favorites and clothes you once enjoyed that no
longer look as wonderful on you as they once did. Only the most sentimental items
are worth keeping. I will never part with an original crystal and mesh 1920’s flapper
dress, as an example. If you feel terribly attached to something made or given to
you with love put it where you put your other memorabilia. Do not leave it hanging
in the closet. On the other hand, there is no reason to hang onto every outfit you
ever had fun in. You can retain the memories without keeping the clothes.

Clothes can only look good in the present time. Even something you enjoyed last
season may no longer suit your spirit, figure or lifestyle. Former favorites are often
more difficult to be objective about than mistakes you have always hated. I recall a
client clinging to several designer knit outfits, telling me how wonderfully they
traveled and how ideal they were on her last vacation. I pointed out that the color
and fit were no longer flattering and asked her to thing about the overall enjoyment
of her next holiday if she were dressed in them. If you love something about an
outfit but it no longer does your face or figure justice, mentally file away what you
liked about it and when you can, replace it.

IRC Reproduction of the is material without prior permission is prohibited
I am sorry to say that, after a certain period of time, nearly every outfit starts to look
dated. Take a long, hard look at some of your older classics, especially if they were
purchased more than five years ago. Without noticing, you might have replaced
then with something you like better.

Going through your closet is an excellent time for learning more about yourself. As
you try things on, consider the qualities of your favorite garments. What is it about
the style, cut and color that make them so beloved? In the clothes you enjoy the
most, notice which of these assets are evident. Pay attention to what is wrong with
the outfits you are discarding. I recently decided to let go of a jumpsuit that I never
liked because I always so massive in it. I assumed the oversize shoulder pads were
the culprits. When I looked at it more closely, I realized it was not only the shoulder
pads that made the garment look top heavy, but also the combination of epaulets,
breast pockets and lapels. Without guilt coloring our observations, we can learn
from our mistakes.

Clean out your closet as well as you can before your next shopping trip. After you
have returned from purchasing something new, do a little closet fine-tuning. It is
easier to get rid of anything you were undecided about when you have something
better to replace it. You also have the added incentive of making more room for
your pretty new things.

Keeping your closet in shape is an ongoing process. If you change wardrobes
seasonally, go though everything before you put it away. If you did not wear an
item all season long, it is likely you will enjoy it next year. When you take out
clothing that has been stored, try it on to be sure it still fits and you still like it.

When you are deciding upon which clothes to save or discard, do not concern your
self with the fate of a reject. Base the decision purely on your enjoyemnt the
garment. After you have set aside all the clothes you are ready to remove, then you
can choose what to do with them. There are many positive ways in which your old
outfit can be put to good use. If they were recently purchased and still stylish, you
can sell them at a used clothing store of consignment shop. Donating clothes to a
charitable organization helps others that are less fortunate and provides you with a
tax write-off. There are several women’s organizations that sponsor ’slightly worn’
sales, with the proceeds going to charity.

A creative alternative is a clothes-swapping party. Invite a group of friends over and
ask them to bring only their best cast-offs. The only requirement is to be firm
about people taking only the items that look wonderful on them.

Whatever you decide to do, remember that what happens to your old clothes after
they are out of your closet is not really all that important. Try not to put too much
energy into finding them a new home. They are not stray orphans in need of
shelter. Beware of burdening your family members with items you feel would be
‘just perfect’ for them. They will thank you for this, believe me.

Now that you are free of all kinds of skeletons in your closet, it is easy to organize
what is left. Set up any type of system that works for you. Some people group their
clothes by color, but I prefer to arrange my clothes by category. Moving from left to
right, I hang my slacks, then my blouses and lightweight jackets, followed by my
skirts and, finally, my suits. I don’t wear dresses or heavy coats because I wear
separates and live in a temperate year-round climate. But you may consider an
alternative if you have distinct seasons. My sweaters, exercise wear and lingerie
are all folded. If it helps you to keep complete outfits hanging together then,
by all means, arrange your closet that way. Any approach that makes sense and is
convenient
to you is fine with the exception of allotting one quarter of your closet for the things
you currently wear and three quarters of the space for the items you don’t!

Your accessories should also be organized and easily accessible. I fold my scarves
and hang my belts over the scarves. Seeing my accessories hanging in plain sight
often inspires me to try something new. Accessories do not take up much room
and they need to be kept current like all the rest of your clothes.

I might sound like a fanatic about my closet but I have developed an appreciation
for the benefits of an organized and up-to-date-closet. Getting dressed is not
longer a chore now that I clearly see all my options hanging before me. I can feel
confident knowing I need only to choose an outfit based my mood, the occasion and
the weather. I never have to wonder or speculate about something fitting or looking
great that day.

Getting dressed in the morning sets the tone for the entire day and you owe it to
yourself to make it as streamlined and positive as possible. Getting dressed is your
time to look in the mirror and positively interact with yourself, confirming your
attractiveness and appreciating your beauty. It is a waste to spend those few
precious moments throwing garments over furniture, frantically trying to pull
yourself together.

In addition to the daily benefits of an organized closet, the act of cleaning it is itself
emotionally satisfying. A surge of energy takes hold when you free yourself from an
unhappy past and more towards a more promising future. Like any intimate
relationship, we create emotional bonds with our clothing. When you act decisively
you will discover a sense of relief akin to quitting a job you hated or ending a
relationship that is no longer working. It is a wonderful feeling to take control by
letting go of past failures and by making positive choices
in the present. Your closet is a great place to begin and a great place to return to
whenever you feel the need to do something good for yourself.

I have found the following three exercises to be the most successful approach to
tackling your closet-cleaning project. Exercise One offers tips for going through
your garments one at a time.
Exercise Two guides you through arranging your clothes in an orderly way. The
final exercise encourages you to evaluate what you have learned and not any
important observations you have made.

Step one – GET TO IT

There is no shortcut to trying our every single item, so get to it. Put on good
underwear, pantyhose if you wear them, your favorite music and start with your
favorite clothes. Be sure to wear all the appropriate accessories, including shoes
and jewelry. Admire how nice you look in them. Then take them off, hang them up
or put them somewhere out of the way until you complete the project.

Continuing to move from the best to the worst, try on everything else. Make
whatever you have on look as good as it possibly can. If you feel inspired and come
up with a new combination, terrific.

If you are not thrilled with the way something looks, put it in the discard pile. Do
not start a ‘maybe’ pile. Make a decision. Tell yourself if you change your mind you
can always retrieve it later. This act of decisiveness helps you break the emotional
bond with the garment in question. Once you see it in the reject pile you will
probably be relieved rather than sad. Let me make this very important point:
Making a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ decision is the key to successfully cleaning out your closet.

You are probably getting stuck on all the odd pieces you have been saving, hoping
to find the ‘perfect’ thing to go with them. Ask yourself if you really and truly love
them. Is it worth spending the necessary time, energy and money to find them
suitable partners? If you would rather spend the time and money on a totally new
outfit, then let them go.

Do not feel guilty about getting rid of something that is still ‘good’! Box up all the
rejects and get them out of the house!

IRC Reproduction of the is material without prior permission is prohibited

Step two – ARRANGING YOUR CLOTHES

Put back all the clothes you have decided to keep. Before you do, make sure
everything is on a plastic or padded hanger. Nothing ruins the shape of a garment
faster than letting it hang on a metal hanger. If you do not own enough appropriate
hangers, take a break by going out and buying some.

Before you return any clothing items to the closet, however, make sure there are no
rips, tear or missing buttons that need to be repaired. If you can’t repair these items
yourself, take them to a good seamstress or put them in the discard pile.

Once you have gone through all your clothes, organizing what is left is the fun part.
Enjoy the feeling of order you are creating. Arrange your clothes in whatever way
works for you. Be sure there is enough space between each hanger so your clothes
do not get crushed or wrinkled.
Your hangers should be able to move from side to side relatively freely. If your
clothes are still jammed together, making it impossible for you to see what you
have, then you did not get rid of enough. Take a second look.

You should be able to approach your closet each day knowing you like and feel
good in everything in it. Once you have done a major closet cleaning, it is easy to
keep your closet up to date and current.

And, speaking of your closet, you have gone to all the time and trouble to organize
your wardrobe and you want to be able to see the clothes you have returned to the
racks. If you don’t have adequate lightening, you will unable to identify the color of
the garment. Without going to the expense of rewiring your closet you can
accomplish this by purchasing battery operated lights. Place them in strategic and
dimly lit places in your closet and you will be able to view your masterpiece with
pride!

Step three – OBSERVATIONS

When you are going through your closet you might want to start a notebook to keep
a record of what you are doing. Keep it and a pencil handy for jotting down any
observations you make. When you discover a style that looks good, make a note to
refer to before your next shopping trip. Also not the unflattering styles you want to
avoid. If you discover any new assets, add them to the list.

The more you know about yourself; your color season, style, body type and lifestyle,
the easier it will be to create a working wardrobe that continues to work for you and
your needs.

Have fun with it!

Bunny Vreeland is a registered, certified Clinical Hypnotherapistan can be reached at
805-984-1237/800-755-4083 or BunnyVreeland.com BunnyVreeland.com

Bunny incorporated Hypnotherapy into her image business over 10 years ago and
specializes in Weight Loss and Smoking Cessation, offering a money back
guarantee.

In addition, she has successfully helped clients with: Fear of Flying… Heights …
Fear of Dentists …Doctors and other phobias. As a Medical Hypnotherapist, she
specializes in Irritable Bowl Syndrome problems. IBS responds remarkably well to
hypnotherapy, showing an 85%-92% improvement.

She is a member in good standing with the Camarillo and Ventura Chambers of
Commerce, a Hall of Fame member of the Better Business Bureau, National League
of Medical Hypnotherapists, American Hypnotherapy Association, The American
Board of Hypnotherapy and the International Hypnosis Federation.

Bunny has been interviewed on radio and Television and written numerous articles
on the subjects of HypnoTherapy, Image and Self Esteem.

The Lord painted a picture of my heart’s desire

A picture of which my soul did aspire

He took a thought, planted it ever so small

Letting it grow in me, quite grand and tall

He gave me a promise, a small word

A gift, a treasure from Him, My Lord

One met especially for my need

One on which I could meditate and feed

He opened my heart then and there

Placing His promise with great care

As I dwelt upon this nugget of gold

A pallet of the Master’s colors did unfold

He began to paint a picture so lush

With each bold stroke of His brush

Day by day the colors took shape

Letting hope swell into an open gate

Allowing me to move in an possess

The desire I had long confessed

What once started as a small seed

Born out of a heart full of need

Now stretches across the canvas of my life

Taking solid form in visible light

The desire once small in my heart

The Lord has made into a masterpiece of art

****************************************

Dear Child of Mine,

Have you ever looked at your life, and not recognized the beauty in it? Do you have a need? If you find your self in this place, call on My name. I will answer you with a word, a thought, or a scripture (Luke 11:9). Take what I give you, memorize and meditate on it. Call a friend and let them pray and agree with what I have given you. You know what is said about where two or more agree (Matthew 18:19).

Yes, let the thought of agreeing with Me, your Father in Heaven go so deep into your heart, you find yourself dwelling on it during the most unlikely times. I am walking with you, agreeing with you for the things I have put in your heart (Amos 3:3). You will see My transforming power in many unlikely places.

What you have longed for will manifest itself. When you begin to see the troubled areas of your life and heart submitting to the living Word, your perspective of the circumstance and the understanding of your own value will change ( Hebrews 4:12). You will no longer see yourself as a cheap print from the Five and Dime. Your appraisal will change. It will agree with Mine. You are a masterpiece worthy of the best art gallery. I ought to know. After all, I made you (Psalm 139:13).

Love Jesus

Journals of the Heart, a place of intimacy with God, quiet respite for the soul, short stories, poetry, prophetic words and devotions, journaling, soaking prayer, teaching, extravagant grace and mercy—a place to delve deep into the Secret Places of God’s heart…an oasis where two-way communion with the Lord is encouraged and developed.

You can read more of Brenda’s inspirational works on line at journalsoftheheart.com journalsoftheheart.com at journalsoftheheart.com/personal_blog/ journalsoftheheart.com/personal_blog/ or under Hearing From God at allaboutprayer.org/ allaboutprayer.org/

Self-esteem is incredibly important. In fact, I think it is so important that I am going to say that again. Self-esteem is incredibly important. Many people have the notion that it is the same as self-confidence; however it is far more than just self-confidence. If we look further into the origins of the word esteem itself, as we look etymologically, it comes from the word aestimate, which literally means ‘to put a value on.’ As you might guess, this word shares the same root as the word ‘estimate.’ Therefore, we can see that self-esteem, really does just mean; the value we put on ourselves.

Now then, what are the key components of self-esteem? When someone has high self-esteem, they have a genuine, deep rooted sense of self; they actually like (and often love) themselves; they can and do recognise and be in control of their internal state; and they have a sound sense of purpose, or rather they act and behave with purpose. These are not magical gifts that we were given at birth, oh no. One of the key concepts in many of my self-improvement or change programmes or writings is a presupposition of neuro linguistic programming (NLP) and that is: what others do, you can learn. So that is where I am going to start here, by indicating and illustrating just what it is that people with high self-esteem actually do, I am going to break it down into easily consumable chunks so that you can replicate them and apply them to your own life immediately.

These things, if applied in the correct way, can have an amazing impact on anyone’s self-esteem.

Developing Your Own Sense of Self:

Many of the individuals that I have worked with over the years tell me that they lack self-confidence. I hear it so very often. As mentioned previously, self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves whereas self-confidence relates to our actions. Again, if we look at the word ‘self-confidence’ it means to trust in ourselves, so at its root it implies some kind of challenge or task that is to be undertaken in some way. To be more specific, confidence usually relates to our ability to do something or to have some kind of competency. We are confident in our ability to do something, to behave in a particular way in a particular situation, to take on a particular challenge.

It has been my experience that it is almost impossible to have self-confidence if we do not have self-esteem.

I once worked with a lady who was naturally very gifted in her specialised field and was a legal secretary. Following her initial training and joining a legal firm, she was recognised by the senior partners as being intelligent, conscientious and diligent as well as hard working. She really was an asset to the company and got on very well with her colleagues. At the end of her first year of working for the company, she was offered a more senior position and she was given some additional responsibility along with a slight increase in her salary.

Following three years in this role, the legal team office manager role became available and as she had been as good as running the office anyway, one of the company’s senior partners recommended that she apply. The partner felt that she deserved the role and encouraged her to apply. But, the lady in question was rather taken aback by the suggestion; she did not feel qualified or competent enough to take the role on or to even consider applying. She had always managed to successfully find reasons for dismissing praise, she told herself that she simply did not deserve it and that anyone could have done what she did and that there would come a day that one of the partners would realise that she was not that good at her job and she would be shown for what she really was. Therefore she just did not apply. Remarkable. What’s more, I know that you know someone just like this.

I encounter so many people like this. So many. People that have this low self-esteem and are not able to generalise from the obvious successful results that they are having, or the acknowledgement they receive. It is almost as if they don’t ‘hear’ the praise that they are given. Because of this, the lady I mentioned earlier lacked the confidence to apply for the promotion; and many people with low self-esteem consistently and continually underachieve in their lives. Most of them spend their entire lifetimes underestimating themselves and feeling that they are not worthy.

So what we are going to do is to explore. Over the years I have investigated those people that do have self-esteem and how they actually think and behave. It is all about that probing question ‘How do they do that?”

When I worked at the Independent National newspaper in central London when I was younger, the newspaper had been bought by a new owner and was moving from where the previous owners, the Mirror group were based, in Canary Wharf in Docklands, London, to new premises in a slightly different part of London. A girl called Samantha was the Managing Directors PA and rather than using a proper project manager of some sort, the MD organised the relocation himself with Samantha’s help.

She liked being who she was, had done well at school, this was only her second job and she had worked up the secretarial ranks to become the MD’s PA. She did not mind being asked to help with anything out of the ordinary or unusual. The day before the office relocation was due to happen, the MD was involved in a car accident and had to take some time off due to being in hospital for a night and then off for a period of recovery. Another director asked Samantha if she would oversee the relocation as she had been so involved in the process. She was very slightly apprehensive but of course agreed with no hesitation: after all, she knew most of the arrangements that had been made, and what’s more the MD had a mobile that she could call if she was desperate.

Now I mention this because you can see the differences between the two people in those examples. Not only did Samantha have a more easygoing temperament than the lady mentioned in my first example, she was also far more comfortable with herself and of course that naturally meant that she could take the leap of confidence in herself that was required for her to take on the last minute responsibility.

Both of the women were extremely capable, however, the first mentioned lady had a low sense of self-worth, whereas Samantha believed in herself. So, what about you? I would like you to answer these questions to yourself:

• Can you accept a compliment straight, without verbally or non-verbally deflecting it and without dismissing it or having to qualify it in your mind.

• Are you ever afraid that you may well be ‘found out’ one day?

• Can you list 5-10 things that you like about yourself without hesitation, just doing it straight away?

• What is your reaction (internally and externally) when you are asked to try something that you have not done before, something new?

• What do you say to yourself inside your mind when you are about to do something that challenges you or that is difficult?

Really take some time and even consider writing down your answers, it is always good to see this kind of information in writing as well as it being in your mind. Then, what do your answers suggest about you and how much you like yourself? Do you think well of yourself? Are you happy being you? Are you critical about yourself and your abilities? I recommend writing these down again because you can then compare and contrast your answers when you have finished following these techniques and strategies. So, lets move on to those strategies and techniques.

The first of the strategies that I want to mention is: Accepting Compliments.

Quite simply, the easiest way to accept a compliment is just by saying “Thank You.” Not too difficult is it? Remember a compliment that someone has paid you, however small or minor you may consider it: imagine hearing it in your head again, play it over and over or better still, say it out loud to yourself and then say “Thank You.” You may want to experiment with a variety of tones of voice or accents or mannerisms as well as different facial expressions to find some of the ways that resonate the best with you and that seems the most natural.

You need to push your boundaries out here and really do this. Practice this over and over. I would recommend that you practice this in front of a mirror too even if it does feel unusual. Then, on the next occasion that someone gives you a compliment, because there will be some, catch what you do, even if your old response tries to kick in again. Even if it does, notice what you did and just offer a “Thank You” anyway. As you keep on doing this your brain will learn the new response and will begin doing it automatically.

Worrying about being found out:

Hmmm. Ok, ask yourself this question: what exactly is it that I do not want other people to know? Really ask yourself that and answer it thoroughly and precisely. The majority of people just don’t want people to think badly of them or their abilities. This kind of worry or fear almost always has to do with what you anticipate happening and not what actually does happen; it tends to be removed from reality.

So now is time for a reality check. These people that often feel unworthy about their capabilities at work or about their attractiveness are underestimating themselves. You should observe the other people at your work or in your life that seem quite contented with themselves and notice that contentment and ability are not related. They are not correlated. At the same time, you only have to take a good look at couples in any public place to notice that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. It has often helped to ask two very powerful questions here to discover other possible reasons for your unnecessary worries:

• What stops you (feeling good about yourself)?

• What would happen if you did (feel good about yourself)?

Learning to Like You:

Ok, it is time to take out your self-esteem journal or that piece of paper to write on again. As we touched on earlier, I would like you to list anything you can think of that you like about yourself. It might be the dimples in your cheeks when you smile, or the crookedness of your teeth, or the fact that you can spell words really easily, or that you have good morals, or that you are honest. Absolutely anything applies here. Keep on collecting and adding to this list. Now check this list against your logical levels exercise that you did at the very beginning of this programme. Think about your environment, your beliefs and values, your capabilities, your behaviour and identity and think about your characteristics on each level and find more and more things on many differing levels that contribute to your own unique identity. Then keep this list somewhere important to be able to refer to and remind yourself often of its contents.

Doing Different Things:

Lots of us react with fright, fear and anxiety when confronted with new things! Oh, no, a new thing! So if you do respond that way, spell out the worst case scenarios you have in your mind. Really spell them out, write them down if it will help. Sometimes this is enough to make you realise that they are silly fears or maybe they are a bit (or a lot) unlikely. I bet they are. However, if your worst case scenario could happen, think about how it could be managed and overcome. Take it a step further and think about someone you know would overcome it – what exactly would they do? How would they go about it? So, instead of letting that fear harbour itself deep within you as if you were burying it, take it on and find and create a strategy for dealing with it. Much more often than not at least one of these approaches can and will defuse the anxiety. Now, if it doesn’t, your intuition and instincts may well be right: so don’t do it!

Communicating With You:

I have written a lot before about our internal dialogue, if you really have too much of it and you want to use it far better, I would recommend you read my best-selling book ‘The Secrets of Self-Hypnosis: Harnessing the Power of Your Unconscious Mind’ or you look through the archives of my ezine for the article that I wrote on it before. Please remember the archive is temporary, please read those articles before they are moved.

The point I want to make here is that if you persist on telling yourself not to make an idiot of yourself in front of others, or remembering how things went wrong the last time, or highlighting to yourself how useless you are, then that internal dialogue voice may well be contributing to your problem. In fact, I know it is!

So instead, begin to think: what would you say to someone else in the same situation if you wanted to encourage them? Work it out and again, write it down. How would you encourage them? Then continue to say those things to yourself. Do this. Say those things to yourself instead of all that other nonsense that you used to persist on saying. Be convincing and sincere; really mean it. Now how does that feel? To have that kind of progressive internal dialogue instead. It can be like a breath of fresh air for your brain, you are nurturing it. Because we engage in it so very much, each time you create some internal dialogue the more supportive you become and this makes a real difference to you self-esteem and your self-confidence.

Self-Esteem Telling Signals:

How can you tell if someone has self-esteem? It is so easy to tell, though not many people actually notice. One of the surest indicators is that people with self-esteem just do not need to prove themselves. By that I mean that they do not need to:

• Boast.

• Put others down.

• Show off.

• Name-drop.

• Hog the limelight.

• Tell you all about themselves and their achievements.

It is often individuals who do these seemingly confident behaviours that have quite low self-esteem.

Earlier this year, I was speaking at a large conference in Las Vegas and over 500 people were there to listen to the team of speakers of which I was one. The main speaker was someone I had heard of and is very well known across the world and so I wanted to speak to them as much as I could and glean some tips or just get to know them. I wanted to do the same with all the speakers and as we were waiting to go on stage, I took some time out to chat with all the speakers and they were all nice and at ease, no-one displaying any signs of anxiety at the prospect of speaking to this large audience. However, I really did notice that the well known speaker asked no questions of any of the others, in fact they did not show any interest in any of the other speakers at all. Which surprised me a little. Instead, the person maintained a relaxed demeanour and outward appearance but focused all the time on them self. It was all one way and self-centred. I suspected that they were not at all comfortable being this well-known speaker at all. I confirmed this later on when that person asked me if I would spend some time with them to help coach them through some things that they wanted to deal with following a later conversation.

People with true, genuine, real, sincere self-esteem, however well known they are, usually display very different characteristics:

• They have a quiet confidence.

• They do not fish for compliments – but they do accept them well: they know what they are worth.

• They may be quite humble.

• They recognise and are often interested in other people and their achievements.

• They may not be bothered about receiving external recognition.

You can read the body language of someone with self-esteem as it usually speaks for them. They are often physically relaxed, upright, calm and measured in movement, they are decisive and without hesitation and they make good eye contact freely and comfortably.

It has been my experience that despite there being so many people out there who display apparent confidence and competence, actually doubt themselves and their own abilities. (hey, you may well be one of them) I know I spent years and years showing off due to a lack of self-esteem. These days I just show off because I am childish and silly. I joke. These people though, may well stand up for others, but fail to stand up for themselves. They may well be sensitive and sympathetic – but not about their own limitations. Bear in mind that when you meet other people, whether they are dominating and outgoing or just quietly efficient, they may both have a serious lack of self-esteem.

As with so many things, as with so many areas that I work within and as we have touched on already, modelling can really help. Stop and think about people you know who have a strong sense of self: how do they behave? How do they seem to think? What is important to them? What do they believe? What tells you that they are genuinely comfortable with themselves? Trust your intuition here and make the most of your observations. Again, note this stuff down.

Imagine that you were someone else that is watching you from the outside. As you look at yourself, how could you begin incorporate what you have learnt from your self valuation and apply them to yourself. Really have a think about that.

Adam Eason is an author, consultant, trainer and motivational speaker in the fields of adam-eason.com hypnosis, NLP, personal development and human potential. His website is filled with information, stimulating articles, resources and unique products.

Visit to also receive a free, unique adam-eason.com hypnosis session, instantly downloadable, to enjoy in the comfort of your own home.

More information on his amazing 4 CD audio product adam-eason.com/store/store.aspx Supreme Self-Esteem can be found here.

Socio-technical theory & Organizational Culture

Socio-Technical Systems (STS) is “concerned with the interactions between the psychological and social factors and the needs and demands of the human part of the organization, and its structural and technological requirements.” (Szewczak, 2002, p. 107). In organizational development, STS is an approach to complex organizational work design that recognizes the interaction between people and technology in workplaces. Initially, practitioners looked at optimizing the requirements of technology with the needs of humans. However, McLoughlin (1999) asserted “The chief lesson of the research was that if management concentrated on maximizing their economic gains by improving the technological system of the organization without similar attention to the social system, then the economic benefits would be less.” (p. 136). In the pursuit of economic efficiency, an STS approach must take into account both elements as well as how they affect the organizational culture.

Organizational culture comprises the attitudes, values, beliefs, norms and customs of an organization and is considered to be intangible and difficult to measure. In describing organizational culutre, Trompenaars and Woolliams (2003) use the analogy of an onion that can be distinguished in three distinct layers (p. 25 – 27). The first layer is the outer layer and consists of what people primarily associate with culture (i. e. clothes, food, language, organizational charts, etc.) The second, and middle, layer refers to the norms and values of an organization (i.e. right and wrong or good and bad). Finally, the third layer is the deepest inner layer of the onion which is the level of implicit culture which results from human beings organizing to reconcile frequently occurring dilemmas (e.g. The daily routine of problem-solving).

The Right Technology at the Right Time

Davis (1997) observed that “The process begins with a transformation of scientific thought, with new perceptions about how the world works.”(p. 147). How often have you tried to contact customer service of your local power company, or the help desk of your Internet provider, or even ordered a pizza from pizza hut and found yourself annoyed by the awkward recording? Every organization at some point has to cope with the idea of ‘the right technology, at the right time.’ “[T]he technical aspect of needs for efficiency and economic return should be viewed as interrelated with concern for the human aspect of every organization.” (Wren, 2005, p. 292).

Understanding the Interrelationship

Each organization has its own particular cultural dynamics which vary in contexts, structures, and power relations. Any discussion of socio-technical change must also recognize an overarching set of beliefs and assumptions about technology that informs the processes of adaptation. Technology is not ‘merely’ a collection of bits and pieces, components, or design elements. McLaughlin (1999) contends “[Technology] should be regarded as an ensemble, whose component parts and their composition are held together by social relations among people, as much as by more physical ties such as screws, bolts or electrons.” (p. 2). The social and technical systems must integrate and assist one another.

Reinforcing Organizational Values

How do organizations use STS to reinforce organizational values? Organizations develop and employ technology in service of their mission, but also in service of their vision, values, and day-to-day operating requirements. Technology has the potential to liberate people and processes to greatly enhance creativity, performance, and quality, while reducing costs. Holman (2003) stated that “The reason for the change will greatly affect its nature.”(p. 333). As our society focuses on technology development, organizations are undergoing massive transformations to integrate technology into future operations. Human consideration in technological advances has a critical area in this transformation. “When any new technology is introduced, it is important that the user population have a positive attitude towards the new technology. For it to be successful, any new technology needs to be understood and valued by the users. (Szewczak, 2002, p. 108).

The users of this new technology, from an organizational context, are bound together by organizational culture which provides them with a common viewpoint, shared beliefs, or values. These values help them understand the activities of others in the organization, and it guides their own activities within and on behalf of the organization. “Because the shared beliefs include values about what is desirable and undesirable how things should and should not be, they dictate the kinds of activities that are legitimate and the kinds that are illegitimate.” (McLaughlin, 1999, p. 67). When followers participate in the embedding of technology, their values are also rooted in the resulting socio-technical organization. Embedding technology occurs in three major areas. Leaders can build commitment during the acquisition of technology. During the integration of technology into the organizational culture leaders can inspire empowerment. And through the proper management of the resulting socio-technical systems leaders can encourage teamwork and autonomy.

Commitment

Why do people complain about new technology? Technology acquisition is the process by which a company acquires the rights to use and exploit a technology for the purpose of improving work processes, products, or services. From the top-down view, managers fear the loss of control. Managers desire new technology to increase production and maintain control but during introduction they discover flaws such as poorly defined requirements and user dissatisfaction. Yates and Maanen (2001) maintained that managerial assumptions regarding control are incorrect and relationships between workers, supervisors, and top management are frequently altered by new technologies. (p. 207). Beekman and Quinn (2006) discussed how technology contributes to organizational culture by providing: “flatter” hierarchies, making it easier for workers at different levels to communicate; “increased integration” so departments can communicate openly; and “increased flexibility” allowing businesses to quickly react to changes. (p. 429-430).

From the bottom-up view the simple answer to why people complain about technology may simply be because they disapprove of the change itself. People at all levels tend to resist change when they don’t clearly understand the motivations behind the changes. Yates and Maanen (2001) discussed a “culture of complaint” which results from cynicism and negative attitudes toward organizational changes. (p. 174 – 175). The notion is that even if the current problems with technology were solved, other problems would be found to complain about.

David Haas (2003) who leads Collaborative Change Management team at the Altarum Institute, Alexandria, Virginia assisted the military in identifying the critical factors for acquisition success. Of the top ten critical factors for success, user involvement was number two second to executive support. (p. 12 – 13). One method of reducing the fear and resistance is for leaders and followers to design the socio-technical systems simultaneously and jointly. “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do not appear.” (Hebrews 11:3). Involving employees in the acquisition process provides a sense of commitment and faithfulness to the organization.

Empowerment

Another major impact for organizational management caused by the adoption of technology is integration. Although organizations have always been concerned about change management, the introduction of new technology significantly affects the breadth and depth of change. Sarmento (2005) asserted “One major impact on the organization is on how they manage and control processes, relationships and projects. The fundamental challenge to management is the need to implement the processes and infrastructure that support information management.” (p. 281). In order to be successful, organizations must undertake major changes that include changing existing work processes and transitioning workers to new roles and skills. “A major concern of corporate leaders and managers is how to effectively, efficiently, and quickly transform an organization from an older business design and model to one that is competitive and fully operational in the digital business world.” (Sarmento, 2005, p. 282). Leaders and managers must function as fully informed change agents, anticipating the need for transformation and carefully guiding the organization through implementation of all the facets of new work paradigms. Oden (1999) suggested “Other things being equal, the greater the total degree of integration or fit among the various components, the more effective the organization will be.” (p. 309).

The integration may be gradual or quick, narrowly or widely focused, involve only internal components or extensively involve customers, suppliers and other external entities. Major characteristics and processes for successfully managing the transition include vision, process reengineering, and architecture redesign knowledge and skills.

“[Socio-technical] infrastructure is complex, requires high levels of consistency and reliability, and often is globally implemented.” (Sarmento, 2005, p. 283). For example, employees must acquire new skill sets for rapid development and implementation. Managers need to understand the capabilities and limitations of new technologies and develop strategies for integration into existing administrative structures and policies.

Technological innovations by themselves introduce new challenges for leaders and followers. For example, using leader-follower integrated planning teams to develop administrative policies. Just as Jesus empowered his disciples in Mark 6:7, “he gave them power against unclean spirits” managers must empower their followers by extensively involving them in the integration process. Davis (1996) asserted, “Manage the context, and let subordinates manage the content. And let them do the same – and so on down the hierarchy, until the technology of the new economy and the values of the new society together evolve into the network that is now replacing the old order.” (p. 122).

Autonomous Teams

The third area in which socio-technical systems reinforce values is in managing the system. Socio-technical approaches include job enrichment as a design strategy and in addition emphasize worker and work group autonomy. When Jesus empowered his disciples in Mark 6:7, he also sent them out in autonomous teams “by two and two”. The purpose of going out in pairs may have been to bolster credibility by having the testimony of more than one witness, as well as to provide mutual support during their training period but he gave them, knowledge, power, and autonomy. Oden (1999) argued “Sub-units and teams should be relatively autonomous in comparison to previous organizational eras.”(p. 236).

Rather than providing traditional supervision, technology will allow managers to coach, assist with problem solving, and provide linkage to top management, to other organizational units, and to other organizations. Upper management should simply set goals, supply resources and manages the culture. “When workers were asked to suggest changes to the way in which their work was organized, the result was the setting up of autonomous work groups, individuals taking on more varied job tasks, and a flattened management hierarchy.” (Chmiel, 1998, p. 114). The effectiveness of technology depends in part on suitable ways of organizing workers to use it.

References

Chmiel, Nik. (1998). Jobs, Technology & People. Florence, KY. Routledge.

Davis, Stan (1996). Future Perfect. Reading, MA. Addison-Wesley Books.

Haas, David (2003). Government-wide Information Technology (IT) Acquisitions. Increasing Likelihood of Success Through Leadership and Integrated Planning Teams Development. Alexandria, VA. Altarum. Retrieved Electronically January 28, 2006. altarum.org/publications/pdfs/esd_ITA.pdf

Holman, David (2003). The New Workplace: A Guide to the Human Impact of Modern Working Practices. Hoboken, N.J. John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.(UK), 2003.

Holy Bible (1999). King James Version. Study Bible. Grand Rapids, MI.

McLaughlin, Janice. (1999). Valuing Technology: Organizations Culture and Change.

London, GBR. Routledge.

McLoughlin, Ian. (1999). Creative Technological Change: The Shaping of Technology and Organizations. London, UK: Routledge.

Oden, Howard W. (1999). Transforming the Organization: A Socio-Technical Approach. Westport, CT. Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc.

Sarmento, Anabela (2005). Issues of Human Computer Interaction. Hershey, PA. IRM Press.

Szewczak, Edward J.(Editor). (2002). Managing the Human Side of Information Technology: Challenges and Solutions. Hershey, PA. Idea Group Publishing.

Trompenaars, Fon and Woolliams, Peter (2003). Business Across Cultures. West Sussex, England, UK. Capstone Publishing.

Yates, JoAnne and Maanen, John V. (2001). Information Technology and Organizational Transformation. History, Rhetoric, and Practice. Thousands Oaks, CA. Sage Publications, Inc.