Sounds a little shallow doesn’t it … ‘instant self esteem’.

As if somehow we have managed to package up a ‘magic pill’ that will simply do all the work for us.

And yet both you and I do exactly that, daily, and without missing a beat. In fact, we take it completely for granted!

Such is the power of the unconscious mind and our own ‘programming’.

“‘Programming’?”, I hear you say? “I would never allow myself to be programmed. That brainwashing stuff is for cult leaders and the secret service.” I guess it is certainly a truism that when a powerful influence technique is discovered, it only takes a short while before it can fall into the wrong hands.

But what if you did have a magic button, which when you pressed it, fired up your ’self confidence software’ instantly and got you ready for action? And what if you were able to replicate this at will? That would be useful wouldn’t it! And it really is such a simple skill already used by …

Top performing athletes to access a winning mindset
Top entertainers before a performance
Actors to get into role
Coaches all over the world to turn around a team that is having a tough match

And yet still, it is not taught at school, or even generally well-known among the self help gurus. Which is a shame really.

So hang onto your hats, because I will teach it to you right now, for free, and it comes with a lifetime guarantee. Just promise me you will use it for good and not for evil OK?

Your Conditioning

Firstly let’s take a look at how our pre-existing conditioning works. The ’stimulus-response’.

When you are driving and you see a red light what do you do? (No … that’s naughty and you know it)
When you come home from work or college, do you change your clothes? If so, how do you feel afterward?
When you get up in the morning, do you have a shower? And how do you feel after that?
What do you do when you hear your favorite song on the radio?
How does fresh bread baking smell?
If you hear your name spoken across the other side of the room, what do you do?

If you are like most people, you probably recognized a straightforward, even standardized response to these questions.

We stop at red lights because we have learned this is what you do.
We change our clothes on coming home from work because somehow it feels good and denotes the end of the working day.
If you are someone who showers in the morning (this is my personal example!), afterward it feels as if you are ‘ready to start the day’.
When you hear your favorite song on the radio, do you turn it up, start dancing or start singing? Or all 3!
Doesn’t fresh bread baking somehow make you feel nice and draw you to it?
And when you hear your name being spoken, do you look over to see where and who it came from? (And if it really was you they were talking about!)

These are literally just a few examples of how we are ’stimulus-response’ conditioned every day. I’m sure you can think of many many more. (What about when the telephone rings … do you answer it? See! You’re already brainwashed!

But most of this has happened by accident right?

Wrong.

It was all learned behavior.

We just didn’t necessarily consciously decide to learn it.

And there lies the secret to unlocking your inner power. Once you learn to take control of your own stimulus response conditioning you’ll be absolutely amazed at just how powerful it is. And I can think of no more powerful examples than that of The Government and The Advertising Industry.

They both know exactly how to harness the power of stimulus response. For example:

“Just Say No”
“Just Do It”

You know exactly where these phrases originated and what they are about. You can probably remember the people promoting or advertising them and most likely a brand logo or two. Stimulus response conditioning is an exceptionally powerful tool, which is why both Advertisers and Governments like it.

“Enough already!”, you say, “How can I use this to get Instant Self Esteem? Tell me right now!!”

Oh OK then!

How to use this to get Instant Self Esteem

Let’s first learn some very important terms. You’ll need these to help you set up the whole process … but don’t be concerned, it’s really easy!

Initial Stimulus

Trigger Stimulus

Response State

Initial Stimulus

This is a specific element of the negative state (or low self esteem/self confidence feeling you have). It is NOT NECESSARILY a complete description of what you want to change … just a highly identifiable and unique part of it.

For example:

I have to give a project-status presentation to my boss tomorrow and I have just found out about it today. I am experiencing an increase in my heart rate, some nervous muscular jitters, my jaw starts to clench with worry.

In my mind I see myself in front of her missing all my relevant points, messing up my carefully prepared bullet points and with the wrong clothes on for the task.

I can hear myself saying to myself, “Oh heck! That’s not enough time, I mean I needed more notice, I’ll have to stay late tonight to even be ready, that sucks, my wife will kill me ‘cos it’s our anniversary, what do I know about this project anyway, she’ll just chew me out …” and on and on and on it goes.

Feeling good? … Not.

So in this example we’ll use the ‘clenched jaw’ as a very specific Initial Stimulus. I’ll come back to that later.

Trigger Stimulus

This is a very specific and 100% unique trigger that you can use just like you would select a specific program on your computer, or wear a very specific item of clothing that helps you feel good.

Some examples? Sure …

Pinching your left top earlobe with your thumb and index finger.
Thinking of the word MYPOWERUP.
Hearing the sound of large church bells playing happy birthday.
Seeing (or imagining in your mind’s eye) a large pile of $100 bills on your desk.

Absolutely critical to your success is that this Trigger Stimulus is NEVER used for anything else. It is totally unique to getting you instant self esteem. It has no other purpose. The more specific and precise, yet meaningful to you, the action, the better.

Response State

This is your highly desired state to be in. Feeling good about yourself, confident and happy. (Yes, yes, I know it doesn’t seem real and that you think that the problem is that you don’t feel good about yourself or confident or happy, but that’s the point! Stay with me on this.)

Now how do you really want to feel? Mediocre, on top of the world, or higher? Good. Then let’s practice that first.

First let’s list as many of the times that you have felt really good. They may have been …

Receiving praise
The birth of a child
Moving to a new house
Winning a new job/promotion/raise
Passing/finishing an exam
Finishing cleaning the house
Enjoying a great movie/book
Hearing or dancing to your favorite song
Falling in love
Going on holiday somewhere special

Get as many as you can remember. Doesn’t matter if it is only two. But more than one is important. 5 or more works best.

OK now make sure no-one is looking and that you have 10 minutes to yourself.

Let’s have a party in your mind! Imagine you are experiencing RIGHT NOW all of the remembered events.

You are now feeling the most happy, confident, zesty, delighted, strong, assured, capable, that you have EVER felt.

But don’t stop there.

Now ‘turn it up’.

Can you AMPLIFY this feeling until it becomes the most over- the-top ridiculous ‘on top of the world sensation’? (Yes it is fake, it doesn’t matter … you’ll see!)

NOW SIMULTANEOUSLY ACTIVATE YOUR TRIGGER STIMULUS
WHILST HAVING THIS PARTY!

Well done.

Now do this again another 3 times. (The first is just for practice). The trick is to ‘do’ your unique Trigger Stimulus right at the time you are peaking out on the ‘remembered happiness state’.

OK, now let’s test this first part.

Activate your unique Trigger Stimulus NOW.

You should immediately experience the happiness state starting to come flooding back AUTOMATICALLY.

Now say to yourself in a robotic voice, “I am now programmed for success.“

Good. Now we need to link it to your Initial Stimulus.

Let’s say that every time I feel somewhat un-confident or unworthy, I get that feeling of ‘clenching my jaw tight’ … my specific and unique Initial Stimulus.

Now recreate that NOW. (This should be the easy part because you’ve ‘practiced’
this one even before reading this!!)

NOW ACTIVATE YOUR TRIGGER STIMULUS.

Repeat these steps another 3 times (very important).

Now you are ready.

The next time you feel a little lacking in confidence – or you experience that ‘jaw clench’ type Initial Stimulus, you will do one of two things:

You will automatically go straight to your desired success Response
State, WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT. (Well done!)
You will remember to consciously activate your Trigger Stimulus
and then arrive at your desired success Response State.

And now you have learned to use your own Stimulus Response Conditioning.

This is not a skill to be underestimated!

You can use it to improve your memory.
Use it to improve your ability to learn.
Use it to become more attractive and ACTIVELY ATTRACT your ideal partner.
Use it to become more of the person you want to be.
Use it to become wealthier.

And remember – this Instant Self Esteem only improves with practice and over time … and lasts a lifetime. So expect the best from yourself. You deserve it after all.

All the best for your journey!

© 2005, Robert Scanlon, selfesteemplus

If you’d like to find out more about this skill and many other confidence-building and self-esteem increasing techniques, visit my website at selfesteemplus.com/ selfesteemplus.com/.

Robert Scanlon is a corporate consultant, NLP Trainer, and the author of “Boost Your Self Esteem To New Heights”, a free 21-day online Building Self Esteem and Self Confidence Course and 35-page eBook. You can sign up for it at selfesteemplus.com/ selfesteemplus.com/

One year ago today I received a dreaded middle of the night phone call. My mother had been rushed to the University Hospital in a nearby city with a ruptured brain aneurysm. Sleepy eyed, and panicked, my husband and I rushed to the emergency room not knowing what to expect. Gratefully, she was alert and talking when we arrived. We were told she required emergency brain surgery to clip off a bleeding aneurysm and another that had not yet ruptured. As they rushed her down the hall and through the swinging doors of the OR we all shouted ‘Love you. We’ll see you later today.” We had no idea if that was true.

Our mother survived the odds—more than half of patients with her condition die before they make it to the operating table, and half of those who get into surgery don’t survive the first two weeks following. Miraculously, my mom recovered. It took a week before she recognized any of us, and months before her memory retained anything for more than a nanosecond. But slowly, surely, and not so steadily she recovered. And through this year-long ordeal, as is guaranteed in times of extreme challenge, I learned some valuable lessons that will serve me—always.

Lesson 1: SANDWICH TO REDUCE STRESS.

Intellectually, I knew I had to take really good care of myself when this first hit. After all, you can’t go long distances on an empty tank. The doctors warned us that this was going to be a long road ahead. Patients with severe brain trauma have a great ability to heal and regain functioning, but it is a slow (12-18 months) and unpredictable process. I felt pulled to make the 45 minute drive to the hospital daily (especially in the critical first 14 days of intensive care), so that I could keep up with what was happening. So, I started ‘sandwiching’ my day. I made it a point to start and end each day in an enjoyable and ordinary way. Playing with my kids. Going to the park. Taking a walk. Having dinner with my family Reading a good book. These were the ways I buffered myself, and my family, from the stresses of the day.

Lesson 2: HOLD THE VISION.

From the beginning I held onto the vision of my mother returning home and resuming her active and independent life. Believe me, there were times this vision seemed nearly impossible to hold onto. But I persisted even when family, friends, nurses, and some doctors told me how unlikely it might be. By holding onto this vision, I made better decisions as her daughter and guardian. I made decisions consistent with challenging her, helping her grow, and maximizing her abilities. Was I 100% certain she would go home? No. That wasn’t the point. The point was, I wanted to get her as close to independent as was possible. Believing in anything less wouldn’t serve that purpose. The vision kept me honest and motivated. My mom is home now—has been for 2 ½ months. She has structure and daily help in her home, but she’s home and living independently. Vision accomplished. Hold your vision. It expects the best of you even when expecting less would be much, much easier.

Lesson 3: LET GO OF EXPECTING OTHERS TO LIVE UP TO YOUR STANDARDS.

I have a certain way of behaving in times of overwhelm. I get very ‘heady’ and start trying to solve the problem. I wanted others to join in my fun. They didn’t. They were too upset. Eventually, I had to stop expecting everyone else (mom’s friends, my brother, and other family members) to act as I was acting and do what I was doing. They won’t. They’re not me. I learned, the hard way, that expecting others to be who they weren’t was just another stressor for me. It intensified my overwhelm, strained relationships when they were most needed, and rendered me a bundle of frustration. I resisted, but eventually grasped, that I could not ‘should’ anyone into being different than they were (He “should” be coming more. She “should” be helping more, and so on). And, more importantly, I learned that ‘who they were’ was exactly what my mom needed, whether I liked it or not. That’s why they were in her life—they had a role to play. So I went about playing my role the best I possibly could, and trusted everyone else was doing the same (this lesson is one of those I relearn every couple of months!).

Lesson 4: CHOOSE YOUR ROLES WISELY.

In times of overwhelm and chaos, it seems there are innumerable things to be done. Who could possibly do them all? Well, certainly not me. I had to really ask myself what was the most important role(s) I could play. I decided on a few key roles that suited my values and strengths. Then, I went about finding people to handle other roles. I took on the motto of “I accept all offers of help”. I became really good as saying “Yes, thank you”. This was new for me but it worked. In getting Mom back home, I really had to consider (as I live 1/12 hours from her) how I could be most useful (and where my strengths are). From there, I found other people and resources to get things done for her. I sent out emails to friends and family with ideas on how to help her succeed. Some did, some didn’t (see above lesson!). It all worked out anyway. There’s an old saying “You can’t be all things to all people.” So you might as well pick and choose how to use your most valuable resource—you.

Lesson 5: FOCUS ON WHAT’S RIGHT

When someone you love is sick, suffering, or struggling, it can be so easy to take on your own brand of suffering. In coaching, there’s a phrase I hear often (though I don’t know who to attribute it to)—“Problems are inevitable, but suffering is optional”. I learned that when I focused on what was wrong– “This is sooo hard”, or “She’s not getting better” or “The hospital’s not doing their job” –I was absolutely right. It was hard. She wasn’t getting better. And the hospital wasn’t doing enough. Amazingly, when I focused on what was right–“I am handling this well”, “She remembered that I was here before lunch”, and “The staff made the necessary changes” –I was also 100% right. Let me tell you, being right about what’s working is MUCH less stressful than being right about what’s wrong. When ‘what’s wrong’ is everywhere, start to look for what’s right. It’s there and it feels really good.

Of course, there were many other lessons learned in the last year. But these were the Big 5 for me. I’d love to hear the lessons you’ve learned in times of stress, chaos, or overwhelm. Email me at shawn@succeedcoaching.com to share your lessons, insights, or reactions. Have a wonderful day!

This article may be reproduced, in its entirety, along with the following information:

© 2006, Shawn Driscoll, Succeed Coaching & Development. This article is provided courtesy of Shawn Driscoll, Career Success Coach and owner of www.succeedcoaching.com. Professionals: upgrade your work life today! We provide products and services to help you succeed at work, in business and in life. Sign up to receive your free Success Wise ezine—and get success tips, inspiration, and resources to skyrocket your success—at succeedcoaching.com www.succeedcoaching.com.

Shawn Driscoll, owner of Succeed Coaching & Development, partners with motivated professionals to dramatically improve the quality of their career and lives. She challenges clients to stop struggling and sacrificing in the name of making a living and inspires them to re-define success on their own terms. Pick up your free copy of her special success report “How to Chart Your Course for Success and Fulfillment” at succeedcoaching.com/report.html succeedcoaching.com/report.html.

Dear Loved Ones,

Welcome to Spirituality Inside and out. It is our absolute pleasure to serve you.

Wishing you all a Magnificent day in every way. I love you. I love you. I love you.

FOR WE ARE ALL ONE.

Tools For Life – The Power Of Money

Oooo! What a sensitive subject this is. Money and all that it represents or Not.

How has money affected you, your loved ones and the planet earth?

Some say “You are damned if you have Money and damned if you don’t.” Others say “Those who have money are so lucky.” And some others say “Money is evil” and wonder why they don’t have any.

The presence of other individuals states that no matter how much and how hard they work they still can’t make it in life with grace and ease.

How about the fact that some individuals believe that they unable to attract and manifest money in their lives in any shape or form?

Does money have a shape or form? And what is the shape? And how about the form? Is it formless or is it exactly what it appears to us as human beings?

Now what if I told you that Money is God’s Love in action, would you believe this or immediately reject this idea? Is this statement harmful to you? And if you believe yes, How? Really, something to think about.

Now what if I told you that Money is God’s Love in action to connect people to people to Create Oneness? Can you Now see this as a possibility? Do you want to be open to this new idea, perhaps?

Now what if I told you that I am making all this up and I will let you decide if this idea and belief works for you to renew and repair your own consciousness?

Can this idea and belief give you hope?
Can this new catch change your thought pattern about Money?
Can it possibly energize you with this notion that God works in mysterious ways and this is one of them?
Can we be open and receptive to God’s Love this way? This way meaning God’s love is present in Money and as we exchange money from one hand to another we are exchanging Love.

And as we perceive this new way of thinking, how can we perhaps benefit from it? As we benefit so shall others thus Creating Oneness. The Possibilities of being open to Love are endless.

How we will feel when we are free from the bondage of lack and of superficial use of Money?

“With Love All Things Are Possible”.

When we use our Money to contribute to a new business and it’s owner, can we say that we are in fact applying the “Law of Love” in this way. Supporting a business with the Love of God to grow and prosper, for we are all One.

The examples are endless and boundless as to God’s Love. Let us allow ourselves to be open to this Love. God Loves us. How do I know? I know it in every fiber of my being, in my heart and soul. You can know it if you trust that God does Love and God’s Love is Unconditional. A big statement on my part. A big responsibility on my part. But I do believe this truth. Let us know that with our choices we create our reality. So why not create a reality that works for all.

I invite you to apply an exercise to simply move into the action of spending your money with an attitude of Love and how your money is a vessel of God’s love. Pay attention please to what happens within you and your circumstance when you live from this space. It’s pretty powerful and so are you.

I trust you and I know that you will make the right decision for yourself and others. For we are all One. Bless you for we are all One.

And so it is.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Please feel free to forward and share these Insights with your family, friends, colleagues and enemies to Create a space for Oneness to take place. You are truly Wise and Compassionate inside and out.

May the love and light of God and the Universe surround, protect and heal you, your loved ones and the planet earth.

With Love, Gratitude and Respect,
Michelle Morovaty
Truly, With God All Things Are Possible

© Copyright 2007 Spirituality Inside and Out, LLC

ABOUT MICHELLE
Michelle Morovaty is an Intuitive Spiritual Teacher and Healer. She has healed herself from many challenges including Lupus CNS, a car accident and divorce. She uses her intuition and universal guidance to assist people through the healing process.

For more about Michelle and her healing sessions see spiritualityinsideandout.com spiritualityinsideandout.com and for her guided meditation CD’s see insidenow.com insidenow.com

Each night, when I put my head on the pillow and turn my thoughts to things ethereal, I am hopeful that the world is a little better place than when I awoke that morning. I hope that the dissidents, extremists, murderers, plunderers, bigots, philanderers, cheaters, molesters and others of mean-spirit find that their chosen path is not a beneficial avenue. I hope they see that they themselves are not truly benefiting from a mean-spirited philosophy.

It is because I am addicted to Right Action and Positive Thought that I see the Light shining on our sorry world. I believe, with the very essence of my Soul, that mankind will evolve from the hate and bitterness to a place of peace and contentment. Admittedly, that hope requires a very positive attitude!

It is essential that we learn to live with each other as those of different religions have done for thousands and thousands of years. A tall order these days with the conflicts precipitated by a shrinking globe, economic competition, changing demographics and the convoluted social structures produced by technological advances. That, in a nutshell, is a statement of the problem as it has existed for many years, now exacerbated by the intensity of extreme views, turned militant.

Spirituality does not require a church. Goodness does not require a pew. Compassion and Right Action are part of the Spirit. And if that Spirit can be bridled within all of us, then the work of God is being done.

Politicians will tell you that geopolitical influence … the territorial imperative … is the
causal culprit for today’s ills. Economists swear that if you trace any problem to its source, you will find money as the reason for the problem. Those are both half-truths. If you carefully study the emotions involved, you may conclude, as I do, that the major factor in today’s conflicts is the intolerance of the belief system of others.

Clearly, religious differences have caused (and are causing) the disruption in the world today. Territorial and economic factors are essentially without emotion … religion is central to the Soul and devastating in its importance when extremists prevail. It is only with the hope of Inter-religious Dialogue (IRD) that a fundamental and permanent understanding can be achieved. That path is long and difficult … but as the gentle fingers of night pull back the curtain of dawn each day, new hope is born, and each of us must make this world a little better place than we found it.

The primal religions have some bizarre examples at which we might scoff, were it not for our respect for all belief systems. And Dialogue requires of us, if we are serious about it, to accept even these primal notions as being valid and worthy paths to God. I have in mind the worship of airplanes in the South Pacific … seen in the sky as a part of a deity, the primal mind is clear that the large object could not possibly “fly” unless it was God driven. And crashed planes on the ground become sacred shrines. Totally believable! I do not scoff at this at all … in fact I admire the primitive mind and its devotion to an idea that manifests in their culture as a sign of God.

It is true that materialism has become a way of life in our time … witness even the Communist China phenomenon, edging towards economic growth rather than communal existence. And the emphasis on wealth and position in our country is a well established condition. None the less, the Spirit prevails, and the burning desire within each of us to commune with the God of our choice dwarfs the call of materialism. Everyone wants to do the right thing.

Respect for others is central to the human condition and a basic tenant of rational and peaceful existence. It is one of my pet peeves (I should have none) when I see a human being not respecting others. I believe that this lesson, which needs to be learned by many, is the root beginning of a peaceful planet. Most certainly, on an individual basis, respect and compassion are fulfilling, satisfying and rewarding. Respect for parents, ancestors, teachers and clergy … all find powerful support as a virtue in the world’s religions.

The Alchemists of old worked over many years … centuries … in their quest to turn base metals into gold. At least that is the popular notion. In fact, alchemy is a blend of science and philosophy. It has been so since before the Common Era, when the ancient chemists did attempt to turn inexpensive metals into expensive ones … but always with the underlying thoughts that their work was also symbolically related to the perfection of life.

Through the power of the Spirit and Positive Thinking, do your best to disallow depression … turn, instead, to happy thoughts. Look for the Light, the “good side” of an issue. Visualize a happy and positive outcome of whatever it is that is causing you some mental grief. I promise you that if you think positive thoughts, they will manifest into the reality, in ways that will surprise you.

Dr. Malkin holds a B.Sc. in Business and a Masters and Ph.D. in Religion. He has made hundreds of visits to schools with a moving and effective motivational presentation, urging teens to do their personal best. His mentoring programs have empowered many, many children. His quest for years has been to teach the power of Right Action, working towards the goal of a better world.

Excerpts from “Looking for a Better World” By Stuart J. Malkin, Ph.D.
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