Life is filled with ups and downs. We have both good time and bad time. This is why it is so interesting to lead a life. Imagine if all our life consist only normal and fine environment. We get everything easy and do not have any hurdle to cross. And it is like that until the end of our life. Don’t you think that it will be boring? Without obstacles, life will have no fulfillment. And fulfillment is what we want most in order to grow. So when tough time comes, embrace it with joy. Acknowledge that this is a gift to make us grow beyond we have imagined. Finding a way to overcome it is our assignment. In this article, we will talk about what to do when tough time comes into your life and how to overcome it.

Before we go into the steps of facing a tough time, let’s talk about one of the prerequisite properties that are needed for facing the tough time. This is because without this, it will be a lot more difficult for you to cope with the problem. It is your physical health. You need to have enough energy and vitality enough to face the problem. Some may ask what if the problem is on health itself. In that case, we need to go to separate section on mind only since your body may not function very well. Therefore, don’t wait until your physical gets into trouble since we can not replace it. We can not discard our body like most part of our lives. Some of the illness can not be cured but can be prevented. Learn on that. Find the way to live with the least possible sickness must be one of our goals if we want to enjoy life the fullest. There are only a few chapters we need to know on keeping our health well. They are your knowledge on food, drink, and exercise. Learning on how to have good nutrition, what to drink and what not and how to exercise will be essential in the process.

The steps on facing the tough time include:

1 Be ready in your mind. Your mindset will be the first guard to the reaction you have toward the tough time. We have to understand that this is normal and we need to deal with it by using reasons more than emotion. Once we understand the nature of life, we will not complain. We will courageously face the problem with the ready mind.

2 Write down the problems. You may have more than one single problem. Write all of them down. We may not be able to solve it if we can not see it clearly. Some of the problems may not even be the problems at all after they are written down. Be specific on the problem. After you see it you may be able to see that a lot of problems are more emotional than real problems.

3 Write down all possible solutions. Make analysis on the situation and see what you can do to solve the problem. In this step, we will need some creativity so that we can perform effectively. Do not use reason much on this step. Just see what to do if everything is possible. Try not to limit yourself in the old method of thinking. Think wildly. Get as many choices as you can.

4 Select what is the best choice of yours. See it without prejudice. Einstein said “We can not solve the problem with the same type of thinking that creates it”. Be aware of that. Some of the choices may seem to be difficult or even impossible. However, most of the practical solution in lives comes from the impossible choices.

5 Write down the step and plan what to do. May be part of your plan needs helps from other people. It normally does. Write down how you are going to approach those people. Write down the time frame for each activity. Write different scenarios if the preceding steps do not work, what will be your alternatives. See it in every angles.

6 Take actions! Do it massively. Evaluate it on the way. Come back to the plan and revise it if you need to. Evaluate it everyday how much you progress in the steps and what you need to improved. Reviewing it daily will not only help you know the situation but also motivate you to do something everyday.

7 Do not stop until the problem is solved. Do not give up. Be persistence on your determination and action. This will enhance your possibilities of helping you out of your tough time.

We all are destined to face tough time one way or another. Seven steps here will help you systematically. You will be able to get out of your tough time easier than you normally do.

Jim Somchai
Managing Director of JimSomchai Company.
He devotes his time in studying success and has been
interested in the works of many personal development leaders.

visualizationmeditation.com/rights Geting FREE REPORT ON SUCCESS SCIENCE from his site

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matthew 12:35-37 NIV).

Gossip is a great time-killer, for those who have it to kill. It is also a great people-killer. Oh, not outright. Sometimes it takes years for that titillating and scintillating bit of slander to take its toll. When the person finally dies of heartbreak, no one understands. Why should they? After all, who remembers the stone that was first thrown: the lie or innuendo that started the slow ripple and agonizing death of one’s trust and love?

I have a friend whose marriage is a see-saw affair, and I was having rather uncharitable thoughts myself about a woman who acted my friend when with me, and then spoke with forked tongue when with other mutual friends of ours. One day Mary Fran and I delved into our subjects with our own forked tongues. Mary Fran is married to Chief Black Cloud, a nickname her sons gave their dad. Chief Black Cloud’s fuse is quite short, and one of the older boys crowned his dad with that inglorious title after the boy left home and discovered that merrier hearts do exist in this vale of tears.

Mary Fran told me about her system to keep sanity and humor intact. Years before she had bought three silly-looking but marriage-saving statues, one with the word “Peace,” another, “I Love You This Much” and the third one, “I’m Sorry.” Depending on how much static is clogging the line of communication, that is how many statues that land on the bed that day. The “Goofies,” as Mary Fran nicknamed them, have saved many an argumentable and lamentable day.

We discussed the red-flag words and phrases that cripple family relationships in particular. These are, among many, “You never…” and “You always…” These are sure-fire losing combinations! These flags are waved when the white flag of reconciliation is most needed: when mommy is sagging from a 28-hour day with hyper and ventilating kids; when daddy arrives home from the job breathing fire at his boss’s or his spouse’s incompetence, etc. For ten inexplicable reasons rolled into the one of human nature, this is when we slap each other with the always and the nevers, the you-shoulds and I-woulds: the negatives that have others feeling stupid. One man I know asks his wife and children how it feels to be uncoordinated whenever they have their few minor mishaps. Perhaps this is supposed to keep them all on their toes! They had a perfect chance to get even when the man almost lost his thumb in a tractor accident, but charity won out.

Mary Fran said there are days when she wants to retaliate in kind, but decided it is best to be kind.” Years ago I read something that touched me deeply. The book was written by a Christian psychologist. He said it has been proven that the finest feeling follows the finest doing.” It works for her. It should work for us all.

Gossip is verbal interest in the failings of others rather than their feelings. Our own faults should keep us busy enough praying to a forgiving and forgetting Father and offering prayers of thanksgiving that He so willingly overlooks our own many malpractices of tongue. “He who scatters the seeds of dissension and strife reaps in his own soul the deadly fruits. The very act of looking for evil in others develops evil in those who look” (Anonymous). Church members are especially astute at weeding out others’ grubby little sins. There is nothing like one’s own righteousness to highlight the other person’s lack of it. “They who are free from the grosser sins, and even bear the outward show of sanctity, will often exalt themselves by detracting others under the pretence of zeal, whilst their real motive is love of evil-speaking” (Calvin).

A rattlesnake warns before he strikes. We don’t bother to give warning; we strike in the very act of rattling and tattling. As Christians who look forward to the joys of eternal life, it is imperative that we resolve our differences while bound to earth. Paul was most concerned about this, for in his day Christians faced outside forces and they needed moral and physical stamina that could not be wasted on intra-family and intra-church squabbles. Besides, what positive effect could gossip, envy and all the debris that collects from an unconverted heart have on those “unconverted” who, in many instances back then as well as now, acted more Christian than those who claimed to be such?

Paul, ever concerned about his dear flock, admonished his Corinthian flock: “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, factions, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder” (2 Corinthians 12:20). One commentator lists eight specific evils of this church: strife, suspicion, spleen, selfishness, slander, scandal-mongering, super-egoism and sulkiness, and suggests that the serpent’s hiss could still be heard at Corinth. Is it possible that the serpent’s hiss is heard in our homes and churches? God forbid!

Today I can laugh at an incident that happened years ago when I went grocery shopping with the then only three of my eventual five sons. While going about the business of getting groceries for my family, with the help of my three little ones, a woman came up to me and announced that I was pregnant. “I have my knowledge on good authority,” to quote Mrs. Busybody. I wasted valuable time trying to convince her that to my apparently limited knowledge I was not; that perhaps her informant had omniscient powers that I thought only God possessed. When I was finally able to return to the more important matter of grocery shopping, I still had not convinced her. If this lady had been stuck with my issues to raise and educate, then she would have had ample excuse for such concern, but I hardly knew her. But at that time our town was rather small!

There are three areas in which we can judge our tendency to gossip, and three tests by which we can judge the seriousness of our gossip. In the areas we have:

1) things;

2) people; and

3) ideas.

Which one of these is most appealing to us? I believe this is the right order, too. In our thing-oriented society, we often find ourselves discussing the externals of life and ways to obtain and maintain them. If we choose people, it should be to talk with them, not at them or about them. If we talk about ideas, then we discuss ideals, certainly something to be commended in this day of deteriorating ideas and ideals.

The three tests of gossip are:

1) is it true;

2) is it really necessary and constructive to the welfare of them and us
to repeat this? and

3) is it done out of love.

If these three criteria–and it must be all three–can’t be satisfied, then it is far better to bury the morsel six feet under our memories and leave the judging (which is what gossip is) to God, who long ago forgave and forgot.

One of my favorite verses is 1 John 1:9: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Surely saying the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way is unrighteousness. And for some of us, when we have been so unrighteous as to do in a friend or even an enemy, it is so difficult for us to grasp the concept of total forgiveness. If we are fortunate enough to have finely attuned consciences, we feel that we have done the ultimate; perhaps committed the unpardonable sin because of the consequences to that person. In dealing with the temptation and even the unfortunate fact of hanging another rumor on the grapevine, this verse can help. God does forgive! I doubt there is a person reading this who has not regretted something said in anger, frustration, resentment, haste or whatever. There are varying degrees of results of our lack of discretion and sins of the tongue, too. We drop the pebble of hate, hostility, innuendo, jealousy or wounded pride, and the ripple effect reaches to the very gates of heaven itself. Exactly where is the beginning of war, divorce, teenage rebellion, murder, suicide? Where do we find that feather of a word that has become a very sword? How grateful I am that God is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of the sins of our tongues. But unfortunately, He cannot go around the world gathering up what our winds of words have scattered over the airwaves.

Unless we see the circumstances in another’s life, we can cause that person immeasurable and irreparable injustice. For years I heard relatives criticize the wife of one of their own. The lady lived in another state, so I believed what was said about her. When she and her husband retired and we eventually got to know each other, I saw the side that apparently the rest of the family didn’t take the time to investigate: a warm, gentle and kind lady with talents unrecognized and unappreciated except by her children. She was at our house one evening and made a cutting remark about herself. I told her that she had been listening too long to those who didn’t even know her. It’s wonderful how differently we feel when we get to know others, and to understand the sums of their sorrows and the divisions of their emotions. We give second thought before we express our objections to their abjections. And we are most fortunate if they grant us the same courtesy.

The wise men of the world tell us we should ventilate, but our wise God asks us to cooperate. We are admonished to “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14b). Job knew the vexation of thoughtless words that overwhelmed rather than healed: “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” (Job 19:2). And these were his friends! Instead of the contrition they so diligently sought from Job who they were so sure deserved all he got, they ended up having to swallow a large dose of bad-tasting submission for their troubles. Instead of soothing the poor man’s soul with words of peace, they vexed him to pieces with needless and harmful platitudes, well-meaning such as they were. Certainly Job would have agreed with the provident counsel of 1 Corinthians 4:5: “Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” And poor Job would have deeply appreciated the following suggestion: “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow” (2 Corinthians 2:7). Job devoutly wished that his friends would have judged his innocence rather than his presumed guilt, of which they readily informed him. “The only thing that can be said of them justly is that they were poorly equipped for their ministry of consolation. They were ‘too white’; and the ‘flower of life is red. ‘They lacked most where the need was greatest. The world perishes not of dark but of cold. The soul in its deep distress seeks not light but warmth, not counsel but understanding. If they had ever suffered any themselves, it might have been different” (Paul Scherer).

Martin Luther had much to say about our interpersonal relationships in his exegesis on the Sermon on the Mount. Luther was not a calm man so he no doubt had to deal with this in a vigorous way. Concerning Matthew 5:9 he states: “…The Lord here honors those who do their best to try to make peace, who try to settle ugly and involved issues, who endure squabbling and try to avoid and prevent war and bloodshed…he also gives help and counsel on the side of peace wherever he can…”

Luther’s comment on those who gossip is less delicate: “These are really poisonous spiders that can suck out nothing but poison from a beautiful, lovely rose, ruining both the flower and the nectar, while a little bee sucks out nothing but honey, leaving the roses unharmed. That is the way people act. All they can notice about other people are the faults or impurities which they can denounce, but what is good about them they do not see. People have many virtues which the devil cannot destroy, yet he hides or disfigures them to make them invisible.” In Luther’s exegesis on Matthew 5:43-48, he gives this good advice: “My reply to someone else’s hate or envy, slander or persecution should not be more hatred and persecution, slander and curses, but rather my love and help, my blessings and my prayers. For a Christian is the kind of man who knows no hatred or hostility against anyone at all, whose heart is neither angry nor vindictive, but only loving, mild, and helpful.”

We must be acceptable in walk, work and word. Cuts from a knife heal, but we have no guarantee that cuts from our tongue will heal. I know a lady who shared a sad secret with me one day. She said she still remembers her mother saying to her when she was a child that she wasn’t worth the powder to blow her up. That lady is 54 years old and still struggles with that terrible putdown, even though she is an accomplished and intelligent person. How tragic! We should beg God’s forgiveness every night for every cruel word we say, especially within the family circle. With prayer love covers, but the wounded person is on guard from then on. We don’t purposely stay around those who wittingly or unwittingly do harm to us, and this is precisely what happens, for none of us is immunized against the devilish venom in and of the tongue.

We should eagerly pursue the Love that forgives and forgets and goes forward in spite of great and small injuries. I read of a lady who managed to bury a grievous injustice by mentally digging a grave and quickly lowering into it the thing which wounded her unto a certain death if she didn’t do something with it. She then covered it with white roses and forget-me-nots and quickly walked away. Finally she was able to sleep that sweet sleep of peace, and came to the point in her life where she couldn’t even remember what had caused her such anguish. Oh! that we, too, could accept that grace of God which enables us to bury the hurts in our lives.

Just as important as what we say is how we say it. If a parent, particularly, has a naturally stentorian voice, he or she will do the child a tremendous favor if the effort is made to cultivate a gentle and persuasive tone. There is a great difference between a command in a shattering yell, and a “Please, will you,” said quietly and lovingly. In fact, “The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded” (Ecclesiastes 9:17). This may seem a minor matter, but it is “the foxes–the little foxes–that spoil the vines” of love. Words especially can be sneaky foxes that come back to haunt us years later.

Dear Father, I beg forgiveness for all the uncharitable thoughts, words, and deeds of my life. Loose my tongue only in Your praise, never to hurt another heart. Give me insight to understand and to love. Let Your love make the difference so there will be no indifference to those in my life. Please, Lord, light my candle and enlighten my darkness. I thank You! Amen.

Few people truly succeed in life. A vast majority of people are withdrawn and shy – they don’t have many friends, as they are unable to interact meaningfully with people outside of their inner-circle. Boys don’t find dates easily and girls fail to impress, all because of their lack of self-confidence. Can you tolerate a speaker whose utterances do not carry conviction? Timid speakers don’t captivate their audiences. They can’t be persuasive. In short, their speeches don’t have the necessary pep and spirit to be exciting and end up falling flat. Timid people continue through life somehow, but as they don’t stand up to be counted, success is something they only dream about. Why not go for it? A lack of self-confidence is what keeps most from being assertive, successful and ultimately happy in life. However, if you can recognize that you lack the self-confidence you want, you can work on building it up and making your dreams of success a reality.

Defining self-confidence
If you can recognize the qualities of a person brimming with self-confidence, this will help you succeed in building your self-confidence. How do you know that a person is confident? It’s easy, really. If you are balanced and confident, you are assertive, your body language conveys your confidence, you hold your head high, you speak with authority but not with arrogance, your attitude is positive, you go after your goals with determination -well-prepared to overcome any hurdles en route because you don’t flinch at taking calculated risks whenever required, and whenever you make mistakes, you readily and graciously own up to them. Like people with low self-confidence, you don’t look for scapegoats in such circumstances. Like people who are over-confident, you don’t allow yourself to make those mistakes too many times. And unlike people with no confidence at all, you are outgoing and courageous. Your goals are set realistically, keeping in mind a fair assessment of your assets, your weaknesses and your skills and talents. On the other hand, over-confident people, as you may observe, have a tendency to set unreachable goals and prone to be hurt and have their confidence shattered when failure stares them in the face.

Building self-confidence
While attempting to build self-confidence, you may have a couple of questions to ask yourself. Is it possible to build self-confidence? If by nature you are not initially endowed with confidence, you may think you stay that way forever. Not necessarily. You can actually take small but reachable steps in order to build good confidence. However, self-confidence and success are interdependent. Normally, you can’t succeed without confidence playing a role in your efforts and without success you can’t have self-confidence. It’s a Catch – 22.

If that is the case, how do you build self-confidence? Good question. Start by setting yourself a small enough goal that you can achieve it without too much difficulty. Then achieve it and watch your confidence grow. Repeat the steps, every time making the goal a little tougher than before and gradually build your confidence step by step.

Secrets to building self-confidence
The first secret of building self-confidence is to honestly analyze your strengths and weaknesses. The next one is to work hard on minimizing the weaknesses while maximizing your strengths. Then, analyze the task on hand. Arm yourself well with good, solid preparation to make the most of the opportunities available to do the job and to do it as best as you possibly can. Also, shield yourself against any anticipated threats that might stop you or slow you down in your tracks.

Time management is of utmost importance in all your efforts. Training yourself mentally is also equally important. The better your analysis, training and preparation, the better your chances of success and the stronger your self-confidence. Build it to the appropriate levels and achieve success in all aspects of your life.

Kevin Yang is a writer that concentrates on helping people better themselves, for cutting edge information you NEED to know about your self esteem before you try to change your life check out his website at howtohavehighselfesteem.com/ howtohavehighselfesteem.com/

Can hypnosis cure cancer? The simple answer to that is yes – because it has done.

If you change the question slightly and ask can hypnosis always cure cancer? Then the answer would have to be no in just the same way that the answer would be no if you asked: do drugs always cure cancer, or does radiation always cure cancer, or does surgery always cure cancer… and in exactly the same way the answer would be no if you asked the question do doctors always cure cancer?

Of course cancer cures brought about by complementary and alternative therapies are difficult to prove, in part because of the terminology that doctors use. If you take some prescribed antibiotics to clear up an infection and the infection disappears without trace; then the antibiotics obviously cured the infection.

If you do anything at all with cancer: drugs, hypnosis, radiation, reiki, special diet, surgery, emotional healing… and the result is no trace left of diseased cells, then you are not cured. You are just in remission. And you are in remission until you die of whatever cause. So you live the rest of your life having to have regular tests and living with the expectation of a return visit of this dreaded disease.

Now, if a patient undergoes hypnotic, or any other alternative treatment, and the tumour disappears over the space of a few weeks, or even months, or even overnight, then the medical response is invariably ’spontaneous remission’.

If the patient is also receiving medical treatment at the same time as hypnosis, then the medical treatment always gets the credit – even, in one case I read about, where the last medical intervention was over two years previously and no positive change had taken place during that two years.

Mention the idea of using hypnosis to cure cancer and most of the medical world is up in arms, predictably claiming that there is no evidence. There is actually a lot of evidence. But what the medical world wants are controlled clinical trials like they have with drugs.

There are a few problems with that.

Drug companies are hugely wealthy and pay for their own clinical trials for new drugs, and, it appears on more than one occasion, massage the results of these trials to show their product up in a much better light than the evidence demonstrates. So clinical trials aren’t necessarily the proof they claim to be. Hypnotherapists are generally individuals working alone and unable to fund rigorous clinical trials.

But then there is the Catch-22. The medical world wants clinical trials before it will accept anything new from outside the world of medicine, even though many of the treatments that doctors prescribe and the surgical techniques they use have never been tested in a way that proves their efficacy.

But any trial has to be approved by an ethics committee.

To prove the case for hypnotherapy, such a trial would have to find a large number of people all suffering from life-threatening and painful diseases, separate them into statistically similar groups, keep one untreated, treat another with surgery, drugs or radiation, another group just with hypnotherapy, and yet other groups would need to be ‘tricked’ into believing they were being treated when they weren’t (this is necessary to eliminate the placebo effect). All this is despite the fact that the New England Journal of Medicine (1992) stated “For most of today’s common solid cancers, the ones that cause 90% of the cancer deaths every year – most breast, lung, colon and rectal, skin, liver, pancreatic and bladder cancers – chemotherapy has never been proved to do any good at all.”

Nevertheless, the very fact that treatment would need to be withheld from many people who were in desperate need of help means that it would be considered unethical. And so the medical world has created a set of rules that prevent anyone from ever proving to their satisfaction that anything other than medical treatment is effective. Their reason: there is no scientific proof that anything else works.

I know from personal experience in my work as a Hypnotherapist that I have successfully cured what was diagnosed as incurable, and in the space of a few minutes completely removed pain that was unresponsive to prescribed medication. I know that many other hypnotherapists also achieve these ‘magical’ results.

I am also aware that when I do hands on healing, without the use of hypnosis, I can get similarly magical results. I just can’t guarantee them.

The world of Medicine seems quite blinkered and threatened by this sort of occurrence. It digs its heels in when the rational i.e. scientific mind, fails to make sense of what is observed. And when Medicine’s rational mind feels threatened it moves into a state that psychiatrists call denial.

A pioneer for what is now known as psychoneuroimmunology, Dr O. Carl Simonton (oncologist) worked with a group of patients using similar techniques to those now used in hypnotherapy. Every patient in this group was diagnosed with a medically incurable, terminal, disease. Four years later over 20% had no sign of disease, almost 20% had a tumour regressing, and in almost 30% the disease was stable.

Impressive results more than three years after they all were supposed to have died.

Impressive results for something that there is no evidence that it works.

The human body is an incredible healing machine. Hypnosis can remove the blocks to healing that allow the machine to do what it knows how to do – and that is to be well and healthy.

“The discovery of a pill or a machine that could cure or alleviate as many diseases as hypnosis is known to be able to do would earn a fortune for its inventor.” (G.L. Playfair)

Michael J. Hadfield MBSCH is a registered clinical hypnotherapist, with many years’ experience in the treatment of weight problems, stress, anxiety, phobias, smoking, and other psychological and physical problems. If this article interested you then visit hypnosisiseasy.com/cancer.htm hypnosisiseasy.com for more details.