Illumination is conventionally regarded as a form of mental life, a state of consciousness exclusive to the mystic. It is his awakening to the Absolute, an esprit de corps with the Absolute. He now sees God in nature, he now gains a radiant consciousness of the otherness of natural things and two thirsts become abundant. The first is a thirst for the admiration and love of nature. He wants to become a parent to nature to safeguard and comfort all humans, animals and plants against cruelty and destruction. The second thirst grows out of the first one and is a thirst for more of God.

In his new adoration for nature, he touches a tree trunk and knows he attained a new friend. He admires a leaf and knows that the universe would have been poorer if the leaf never existed. He does not pick flowers in his garden anymore, for he feels the pain of a flower when picked, and when cutting a dead leaf from a pot-plant, it causes him anguish for the death of something so admirable. And sooner or later he hears the voice of a tree or a plant or an animal talking to him. It is not a voice like that of a human being, but rather a childlike and gentle awareness of the other’s existence that trails down the innermost self as an evanescent sensation. It is a knowing of the other’s most intimate needs, a knowing of the unknown in the purest and most authentic way.

Like St. Francis of Assisi, he regards every living creature as a theophany of God, and humbly he becomes grateful for sharing life with all creatures of the Absolute. It was also St. Francis who made the sign of the cross so a very aggressive wolf would shut his jaw and calm down. The wolf then came gently closer to St. Francis and rested at his feet. The saint stretched out his hand and the wolf put his paw on the saint’s hand. According to legend, St. Francis then said: “Brother wolf, I bid thee in the name of Jesus Christ, come now with me, nothing doubting, and let us go establish this peace in God’s name”. The wolf followed him obediently and lived with him for two years before it died of old age.

St. Francis was also one of a handful of holy people who received the Stigmata of Christ. The Stigmata in Christianity, is the resemblance of the scars that Christ suffered during his crucifixion which in this life, are inflicted on a person, probably by a supernatural deputation. It includes the scars of the hands, the feet, the side as well as the scars impressed by the crown of thorns. According to deliverance, some cases have been reported in which the stigmata was only subjectively experienced and not seen by others. However, these cases are not the norm and the stigmata can usually be observed by others. St. Francis was the first and most remarkable example of the stigmata.

Then there was the sensitive Rose of Lima, who befriended a little bird who perched on a tree just outside her window, every evening at sunset. Evening after evening the two would sing a duet that Rose of Lima composed for this purpose. “Begin little bird” she would say, “let thy throat so full of sweet melodies, pour them forth, that together we may praise the Lord”, and together they then sang.

Of these attentive mystics Ruysbroeck says: “Here begins an eternal hunger which shall never more be satisfied. It is the inward craving and hankering of the affective power and created spirit after an uncreated good. And as the spirit longs for fruition and is invited and urged thereto by God, she must always desire to attain it”.

Another characteristic, which is probably the most constant characteristic of Illumination, is the distinct awareness of the Divine Presence. Of this Presence, the 17th century Carmelite monk, Brother Lawrence, says: “We should establish in ourselves the sense of God’s Holy Presence by continually conversing with Him”. For the mystic, it is an enjoyment and comfort state of the most profound kind. The spirit reaching out to God, utters that he has touched Him, and from there on, he is joyously conscious of the Divine Presence on an existential level. “How that presence is felt, may better be known by experience than by writing” says Walter Hilton, “for it is the life and the love, the might and the light, the joy and the rest of a chosen soul…… He cometh privily sometimes when thou art least aware of Him, but thou shalt well know Him or He go; for wonderfully He stirreth and mightily He turneth thy heart into beholding of His goodness, and doth thine heart melt delectably as wax against the fire into softness of His love”.

The pedagogy that comes by virtue of illumination is acquired at an distinguished price, as illumination continually exposes the individual spirit to the atrocity and barbarity towards nature that perdures in the world at large. The agony and hardship that inevitably follow cruelty, dwells in the soul of the mystic and he endlessly endures pain on behalf of his fellowmen and fellow creatures. It is the kismet of every mystic.

When he reaches this stage of intense appreciation and awareness of nature and of the Presence of the Divine, he had already gone through his first purification of the soul, also called a “dark night of the soul”. The first dark night of the soul is called the “night of the senses” – see “Purification” below. After the first purification, the mystic usually feels complete and convinced that his crusade is now fulfilled. He has gone through his inauguration and has a solid certitude about God. However, although he is now virtuous, he is not yet perfect, and more purifications awaits him after which he will discover that the celestial food of illumination, cannot satisfy his hunger for communion with the Absolute. All bona fide mystics and artists are sharers of the illuminated life.

Mystics are not less interested in normal life than others. We are in agreement with Merton who once said: “The true contemplative……….. is more interested and more concerned. The fact that he or she is a contemplative, makes him or her capable of a greater interest and a deeper concern. The contemplative has the fathomless gift of appreciating at their real worth values that are permanent, authentically deep, human, truly spiritual and even divine”.

Illumination is not a claim to supreme communion with God, but rather the soul’s awakening to God’s creation in general. This makes it a symptom of growth, and growth never ceases, it is with us always.

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Have you been thinking, “Why am I feeling so empty and without purpose in my life?” Or, “How can I begin to reduce the pain and suffering that has turned my life upside down? Where can I go? What can I do?” These are questions we all face at some time in life, and they do have answers.

The effectiveness of the answers depends on your willingness to extricate yourself from your deep emotional turmoil and the bondage to the deceased. This does not imply in any way that you forget your loved one, because you have to establish a new relationship with him/her. By intensely focusing on the tasks of grief, not on the outcome, you naturally establish the needed relationship.

It is doing the hard work of grieving, and committing to the unpredictable path to adjustment, that ultimately leads to an outcome you can live with. At the start, you don’t know what those results will be like. As you adapt to your great loss, the outcome begins to shape and later become acceptable. Here is how the art of the possible fits into and leads the process of adapting.

1. Start with the following restorative orientation. In all new experiences you confront—the new skills, routines, responsibilities, roles, needed assertiveness, expectations, and changes imposed by your great loss—be open to and look for the largest number of possible ways to gain from the challenge. Eliminate the narrow one dimensional, either/or approach.

The art of the possible always includes your choice of ringing everything out of each new experience, examining all viewpoints and ways to use the new. Always say to yourself, “What are all of the possibilities here?” As part of your committed openness, utilize the following methods.

2. Model the behavior of those who have been in situations like yours and been successful. Do what works. Decide what you can add or change to what you learn from the behavior of those who have coped well with their loss and adapted to their new world. Modeling the behavior of others is used in many areas of human endeavor with great success. Be willing to try what you learn and hone it to your style and taste. Never forget: behavior changes attitude. Persist in your trial period.

3. Be realistic. Assess what you know and think you can do and what you are sure you are unable to accomplish. Take on the most important challenges in your new life first. And, refuse to be responsible for everything and everyone. Drop that old belief you learned as a child. The art of the possible implies a consistent sustained effort, not a quick fix; quick fixes do not exist in adapting to loss and change.

4. Be Proactive. Look ahead. Cultivate a social support (a friendship) network. Every widow or widower I have ever talked to all have one thing in common: in one voice they agree about the vast importance of interpersonal relationships as an essential ingredient in adapting to their loss. Look around you at the many possibilities you have to strengthen existing friendships or initiate new ones. Reach out. Say hello first. Or, you may have to go well out of your way to develop your social support network. But go for it.

5. Do something. Don’t just stand there. Taking action when you would rather not is a key factor in using or trying out possibilities. Turning new routines and behaviors into habits takes time and determination. Make doing the distasteful your new motto until the new behaviors become manageable and finally turned into habits. Doing is the real secret to happiness.

6. Change the oil. Give yourself daily treats. Go to places and engage in activities you have always enjoyed. Start up an old hobby you had as a child. Window shop. Find a friend and walk through the local Mall two or three times a week. Read inspirational poetry or stories of others who have coped well with their losses. Think of the possibilities you have for building up your various skill levels in order to help those who are not as well off as you.

7. Confide. No secrets. Find a confidant. This will open up many opportunities to express feelings and choices. We all need somebody to tell how we are really feeling at any given time. This can be a week after the funeral or ten weeks later. Look for someone who will be there with you indefinitely. And you may have to cultivate this kind of a relationship and make it clear how important this person is to you.

In summary, using the art of the possible to cope with your great loss means using your creativity. Everyone has creative ability because creativity is all about using the gift of imagination. Allow your imagination to provide new ideas in each new situation you find yourself in. Try out various approaches to using the new. Discard what doesn’t seem to work and build on what you keep. Moving forward is always your choice as you adjust to the absence of your loved one.

Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is extraordinarygriefexperiences.com extraordinarygriefexperiences.com

I am currently in a fallow period of rest and completion. I am replenishing and restoring. It feels like I’m not “doing” enough. It feels like not enough is happening, that somehow I am failing because I’m not very busy.

But I know it is a natural time for self-healing. It is a time for self-contemplation and examining the evidence of what my thoughts and actions have created for me. It is a time to make new choices-focus on what is working, tweak or release what is not. This could mean people or actions or beliefs. It is a time for going within and listening. It is about creating and honoring my new rhythm.

As I look for answers for myself, I am writing about them in my next e-book. How do I balance the “leave-it-to-me” aspect of the Law of Attraction with the “here’s-what-you-do-to-succeed” mentality of the physical plane? Do I do? Or don’t I do?

Then this came in my e-mail

“I said, “Yes!” when you first thought of “it”.

“Now!” when you first asked.

And, “Hallelujah! So be it! Coming right up!” when you first gave thanks in advance…

Believing in you,

-The Universe

All I have to do is think it, ask for it, give thanks in advance and allow it to show up.

That’s easy.

So, should I bother to worry? I don’t think so?

Should I watch for signs and signals? Absolutely, I love signs.

Should I be patient? Yes indeed.

Should I act on and respond to the offerings that appear? If they feel right I’ll do it. If they don’t, I’ll simply pass. But if I do pass, I will look carefully to see why I pass it up and what I might learn from it if I accepted the challenge.

Dig the Ditch Before the Water Comes

Some of the actions I seem to be taking are in preparation for “what if” and “when” what I plan to happen does happen. A friend likened it to digging the ditch before the water comes. Am I prepared to receive? Is the container I am holding out as big as I wish it to be? Do I need to make my thoughts grander, my vision bigger, my expectations higher?

Probably. I think we all too often expect too little.

Do I Value Myself Enough To Let The Good Stuff In?

Am I worthy to receive? Do I deserve it? Will I accept it? Get yourself out of the way and be prepared to step up and give yourself in service wherever you are called. Watch for the unexpected. Watch for the small subtle suggestions. Smile at what you are given. Celebrate your wins. Give thanks for all you are and all that is given you.

Give Gratitude In Advance

I like the idea of giving gratitude for what is going to happen before it happens. How lovely it feels to give gratitude for attracting wonderful new clients. How vibrant I feel as I give gratitude for losing more weight. How loved and cherished I feel as I give gratitude for the deepening of my friendships.

Immerse yourself in the feelings of completion when you offer your gratitude. Enjoy what it feels like to be or do what you desire. Get excited to receive.

Expect It to Happen

That’s pretty much it. No striving, no efforting. Just feel it happening and expect it to happen. Allow life to be effortless and rewarding and it will.

Cara Lumen, The Vision Distiller, helps talented people with multiple passions create an enterprising and profitable internet presence. An international author and Coach, she has a unique talent for combining the practical with the spiritual. Her inspiring and motivating home study course, “Off the Beaten Path, Creative Thinking for the Entrepreneur” is designed to help you stay open to the new, the unusual, and the unexpected. Learn more at caralumen.com caralumen.com

In a recent issue of my newsletter, Lifestyle and Workstyle REFLECTIONS, I touched upon the concept of a strategic lifestyle plan. Much like the strategy an entrepreneur might use to develop a sound business model, the strategic lifestyle plan serves as a tool to manage one’s life more effectively. The key, of course, being that the lifestyle one carves out for oneself is harmoniously aligned with one’s values, goals and priorities.

As I mention in my article, a necessary step to making real, actionable change in one’s life is to select alternate options and develop sound strategies for getting things accomplished. Instead of doing things “the way we’ve always done them,” we must learn to shift our perspective and examine every aspect of our existence with a fresh eye and an unbiased mindset. Basically, this means learning how to change your mind, or your attitude, so that you can then change your actions, and ultimately, your life.

One of the most difficult aspects of obtaining that new lease on life we’ve been searching for, is, in fact, making the mental adjustment leading up to actual change, to the extent that there is a noticeable difference in the way we are thinking and behaving. At first, we might sit down and attempt to rewrite all the rules as we know them. However, in doing so we quickly realize that this is easier in theory than it is in practice. Most people establish set behavior patterns over time. In the same way that the development of such habits was a gradual process, the “undoing” and replacing of said learned behaviors with new ones, will also tend to occur slowly over an extended period of time.

Some tips for success:

1. Lower your expectations. Believe it or not, when we aim too high we lower our chances for achieving the results we desire. It’s important to think big, but don’t stop at the dream. Practice the art of trimming and shaping your ideals into a feasible plan that works in the real world. Divide that plan into small, attainable goals that are grounded in practicality. Find ways to reward yourself for the progress you make over time.

2. Go with the flow. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your new and improved workstyle and lifestyle. If you’re unhappy, set some improvement balls in motion. If some things don’t go as planned, keep moving despite setbacks. Modify your plan according to what’s going on around you. Know that in remaining flexible, you’re more able to roll with the punches and come out on top.

3. Assess what isn’t working. Sure, you may be used to doing things in a certain way. But indeed, that “way” might be heading in the direction of obsolete due to changing times and needs. Instead of operating on autopilot, approach your situation with a critical, objective eye. Ask yourself: what’s the problem here? What actions am I taking to try and remedy it? Are those actions working? If not, why, and what are my alternatives? What’s the next step in my plan for improvement?

4. Live in the now. Most people have a habit of letting past circumstances color their actions. For example, if you recall that your coworkers reacted unfavorably to your suggestions in the past, you might feel less inclined to approach them in the future. Or, if you expect your husband or wife to respond to you in a certain way, you might try to “beat them to the punch” by being predictive about their behavior. This is a very limiting mindset that accomplishes nothing. Instead of dwelling in “what happened last time,” approach each situation fresh and see where your efforts take you.

If this were a business plan we might call this an exercise in “thinking out of the box.” Because it’s a holistic view of our actual everyday life as we live it, let’s call it “embracing a more expansive consciousness.” In doing something as simple as opening our minds, we are suddenly able to find new ways of solving old problems, and can develop new habits and attitudes that bring us closer to fulfillment in our everyday lives.

Copyright 2007 David B. Bohl, REFLECTIONS Coaching LLC. All rights reserved.

Life coach and consultant David B. Bohl inspires corporate professionals, entrepreneurs and other individuals to define and create well-balanced, fulfilled lives. For insights into the work-life balance, sign up for reflectionscoachingllc.com/signup.html” target=”_blank Lifestyle and Workstyle Reflections, the monthly newsletter from REFLECTIONS Coaching, LLC or visit ReflectionsCoachingLLC.com” target=”_blank REFLECTIONS Coaching LLC to learn more.