“Things do not change; we change.”

-Henry David Thoreau 1817-1862

What do you do when you wake up and realize that your life would be so much better if you had only made different decisions? How do you handle the reality of the loneliness you feel because you chose not to marry, you ended up divorced or you chose not to have children? How does it make you feel to need more money and to wish you had a better job, and what if it’s compounded by the fact that you chose not to go to college? Or, how do you lose 100 lbs.; when 50 lbs. ago it would’ve been a heck of a lot easier?

You simply have to start from where you are right now. You have to take the first step to right what seems to be impossible before you go deeper into the hole that you have dug for yourself. It is never easy to face the harsh reality of the pain that is inflicted by poor choices. Plus, there is undue stress and pressure when dealing with the consequences of those choices. The sad part is at the time you may have felt that it was the best choice for your circumstances; only later to find out how wrong you really were.

Life has a way of sneaking up on you. All of a sudden you’re older than you ever remember being; you don’t have the kind of money it will take for you to retire; you don’t feel like you have the energy to start all over again in a new relationship. You are smack dab in the middle of a crisis, so, what do you do now to change things? One thing is certain; if you don’t do anything, you will continue to stay stuck exactly where you are today.

When it becomes painful enough; when you know you can’t continue to go on in this vain; hopefully then you will make the decision to change the unwanted circumstance. Going forward; the difference you can affect in your life will be worth the effort. First, decide what it is that you need to change; what it is that you want to be different. Then, make a plan as to what one thing you can do, starting now; that will move you in the direction of making a better future for yourself.

Now is the time to set a goal to make little changes everyday that will allow you to eventually make a big difference in how you experience your life from here on out. Whether it’s to lose weight, find a new love, get a better job; it’s up to you to find a successful formula that will bring you closer to living your life with more fulfillment and peace.

At any moment we can change our minds. We can change the way we do things if what we’re doing isn’t working. Sit down and write out your goals. Determine where you want your life to go from here and every single day stay focused on doing at least one thing that will allow you to accomplish whatever it is you truly desire. The only thing holding you back is your belief that you are not capable of making a change. Rid yourself of that negative, limited thinking.

If your life hasn’t turned out the way you wanted; pick up the pieces and begin to put it back together. You’re the only one who can make a difference and what you will discover is worth it.

Read more about it in the book, “The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You” found at: susanrusso.com www.susanrusso.com

Susan Russo is the President of Pinnacle Thought Inc. Publisher for books and resources which provide inspiration, self-empowerment and the tools and strategies to help move you toward personal success and fulfillment. She is editor of “You’ve Got Power” Ezine. Author of “The 7 Keys To Unlock the Power Within You” and “There Is Life After What’s-His-Name” found at: whystay.com www.whystay.com
Copyright 2006 Pinnacle Thought Inc.

“Goal Setting Secret – Read all about it!” That’s one personal development holy grail that many search for. As a change-the-game career coach, I find goal setting reality to be more beneficial to my clients.

Today I was reminded of some unsettling goal setting truths after rediscovering Ray Bradbury’s classic science-fiction novel, ‘Fahrenheit 451′. It’s a best seller about censorship and in particular, about a group of firemen who are paid to set books ablaze!

A topsy-turvy world where imagination and dissent are literally consumed by the government and where the rebel fireman hero, Guy Montag, discovers the life-and-death consequences of going against the established system.

After reading it I was suddenly struck by the thought that for anyone strongly committed to personal development, it sometimes seems like there is a goal setting secret police out to demolish their dreams and aspirations. This article examines three (non-fictional!) ways to throw these apologists of inertia off your scent!

1-COMMITMENT
There is something both magical and yet foolish about committing to a deeply held desire or goal. You so very much want it to come true just like the fairy tales of your childhood.

Yet the grownup you have become is warning you how foolish you will look and feel when, not if, the dream is dashed on the rocks of reality.

However, everything I currently know about the power of self coaching suggests that total and unrelenting commitment to a major goal is not only desirable but essential. The scale of your biggest challenges requires nothing less.

What prevents this degree of commitment from turning into an unrealistic and unobtainable venture?

Answer — the maturity and wisdom gained from being totally committed to your goal.

Remember, you have the capacity to choose to learn from both positive and negative feedback. You can change course, even reverse your direction, yet still remain totally committed.

2-RESPONSIBILITY

It is one thing to be committed to a project or goal but without the acceptance of responsibility for the outcome, the impact can often be limited. Just why is responsibility so important?

A portion of it comes down to your world view and in particular, to your beliefs about the power of taking action to create the conditions you want to see in your life.

Even totally committed people can find themselves running around in circles because their responsibility for the situation they find themselves in is handed to someone else or to something else.

In other words, a mature and committed human being will seek naturally to accept as much responsibility as they need to create the outcome they want to see, while accepting that some external conditions are beyond their individual capacity to strongly influence or change.

3- ACTION

In the novel, Guy Montag took some very drastic action indeed! Although he was a fictional character it was obvious that with his life on the line he had no other option but to totally commit to his survival and freedom. And as far as possible he took action based on his beliefs and on his value system.

You can take what Guy did as a metaphor for what you may have to do in your life. Of course I am assuming that you are acting within the laws of your land at all times, and that your actions are not designed to harm anyone.

Nonetheless, you may find it something of a shock to discover that even people who often were quite close to you and could be trusted, may not see eye to eye with your goal and your actions toward it.

They may even attempt to turn you in! No, not to any law enforcement authority, but with an appeal to your old familiar self “to give this up and go back to the way you were”.

While some advice from a trusted adviser can cause you to change or sometimes even to stop your original goal, there is often a greater risk that the adviser is not acting in your best interests.

Make sure that however and wherever and from whomever you receive your counsel, in the end you must decide to take action and accept the responsibility and consequences of doing so. This can require a lot of courage to go against the flow of your life as it currently exists.

But swim to freedom you must – as Guy did. And, yes, the dogs lost the scent.

Need help setting career or business or life goals but can’t afford an excellent coach?
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Mark McClure is a certified career coach and goal setting secret admirer.

The major task of mourning the death of a loved one is acceptance. That is, accepting the reality that the loved one is no longer with you and accepting the multiplicity of changes that are taking place in your life due to the loss. Resisting inevitable change only leads to more pain.

There are two levels of acceptance. The first, intellectual acceptance is easy to come by. We can acknowledge the death of a loved one. However, emotional acceptance is a different story; it takes a much longer time because it involves the process of withdrawing our emotional investment in the physical presence of the loved one.

Here are five ways you can assure yourself that your grief work will not be prolonged and you can eventually accept the death of your loved one on an emotional level. Much of this is internal work and will call on you to strengthen your inner life.

1. Embrace the fact that life will be different; it is a new life. This means realizing you have to give up some of the old routines involving your beloved. Giving up the old for the new is a major challenge. The inability to commit to this fact of life is what often brings on much depression and you use up precious energy in resisting. Decide as soon as possible that you will accept changes imposed by loss and start doing things that will accommodate change.

2. Realize your social circle and/or support network may be drastically altered. If you are widowed, there are some situations involving couples that you will not be invited to. This is often very difficult to deal with. There are also some people, even good friends, who are fearful of death and will tend to steer clear of conversations about your loved one. You will sense their uneasiness. Simply spend more time with those who meet your needs. And, you may have to search for new friends.

3. Work on reducing the amount of time you give to negative thoughts. Negative thinking involves thoughts about your supposed inability to cope with all your new responsibilities, roles, and challenges. Negative thoughts will never create the courage needed to deal with change. They are the number one force in prolonging grief.

4. Look for support from knowledgeable sources. Seeking knowledge and support from credible resources is very wise. Most mourners grieve deep within based on many myths that were accepted as truths early in life. Look for information in four areas: emotional, (how to manage emotions) spiritual (how best to utilize your faith traditions), physical (how to use exercise to reduce tension and anxiety), and mental (how to use your mind to calm yourself and change focus). All of these will assist in reducing the pain of loss.

Ask yourself in which area you are most lacking and go for it. Read. Ask others who have had similar loss experiences, people who conduct grief support groups, in hospices, churches, or hospitals, or if need be, a professional grief counselor. Every mourner’s information needs will differ.

5. All mourners need a companion, an ally, someone who will walk with you through the painful journey. Search for one or more who always lets you be in charge of your grieving, offers choices, and does not tell you what you should be feeling or doing. Bounce your ideas and emotions off this person. Ask for their opinion on specific issues and then decide what you will do based on your analysis of all of the advice you have received.

Acceptance of your great loss is your number one goal. Keep it in the forefront of your thinking as you confront each day. However, don’t allow that focus to obscure the various points of healing you experience along the way. You will feel better, and then have a few reversals. As you keep working, the reversals will not hang around as long as they used to. You will think of your loved one with hope and comfort. You will know that you are moving forward as you accommodate loss and change, love in separation as well as in the now, and reinvest in life. Those are the operational definitions of acceptance.

Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, the popular Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His free monthly ezine website is extraordinarygriefexperiences.com extraordinarygriefexperiences.com

Traditional Witchcraft, or Trad Witchcraft, is a religious family of spiritual magical traditions that date back into Britain’s early past. As an older, traditional form of British witchcraft, it is not Wicca.

Trad Witches are primarily pantheists and believe that everything in the universe is god and god is everything in the universe. This is expressed in the concept of being “one with Nature”. Nature, or god, is seen as neutral, neither good nor bad, but is to be respected, appreciated, and revered, that it simply “is.” Nature is the totality of reality. Nature simply exists and provides us with a world that is not more kind than it is brutal, nor more beautiful than ugly, nor more comforting than harsh.

In the tradition of British witchcraft, Nature encompasses far more than our worldly province to also encompass the OtherSide, or heaven, within its domain. Thus, it could be said correctly that heaven and Earth are all part of Nature. Therefore, the Trad Witch views Nature as a force that surrounds us in life as well as in death.

Traditional Witches have always been very spiritually minded, coördinating their lives with Nature, forging associations and friendships with spirits and Spirit Guides, and honoring specific gods through family tradition.

One of many beliefs that marked the witch as very different from the majority is the belief in the absolute equality of all life forms, both on Earth and on the OtherSide. Trad Witches believe the spirits of the living and the spirits of the dead are completely equal. This means that all spirits are equal. This has many ramifications including the ancient belief that males and females are completely equal. The concept of a god and goddess duality, male and female in equal balance, is certainly part of many traditions in Trad Witchcraft but is not found in all traditions.

The witch has a special relationship with spirits on the OtherSide. Friendly spirits are thought of as one might think of a neighbor. When you think about it, a spirit is simply another person, whether alive or dead, in this world or on the OtherSide. As with people, the personality of spirits vary as human personalities vary. Some spirits are uncoöperative and nasty, while others are agreeable and helpful. Many more tend to be neutral.

As with any family member or friend, friendly spirits can be invited to ritual or during magic. Spirits are always treated with high respect. There are many spirits willing to help us if we only ask. There are specific techniques that are very effective in this regard.

Traditional Witchcraft is a religion of considerable depth. It is a religion of the highest spirituality, of Nature-consciousness, of gender equality. It is as vibrant today as it has always been.

Adrian Eglinton is a writer, author, and practitioner of witchcraft for over 27 years. He is dedicated to the spread of the natural and eternal truths of this most precious spiritual path and light the way for others. His website is at blue-moon-manor.com/. blue-moon-manor.com/. A free Mini-Course on Traditional Magic is available at: tradwitchcraft.com/index.html. tradwitchcraft.com/index.html.