“Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff” is what my friend told me at coffee the other day. We were talking about this column and it’s become a bit of a joke when I say “well, I guess I’ll make a list of all the things that stress me for the column this month.” So I shared with her a few of the things that sometimes stress me and that was her response. She’s a dear friend and I know I can always count on her to be honest with me. She has a calendar that reminds her daily not to sweat the small stuff. One of the recent days read ‘Would you rather be right or happy?’ Well, that’s easy – I’d rather be right!! Just kidding! (tee-hee) Of course I’d rather be happy. It’s what our consumer driven society tries to convince us that we’ll achieve if we’d only buy certain products. You know, I’m sure if I asked a lot of people how they would define happiness, I’d get different answers from everyone. Sadly, some of us have made happiness dependant upon something else. You hear people saying, “Well, I’ll be happy when I have $5,000.00 in the bank; when I get a better job; when I meet the right person; when I lose 20 lbs; and the list goes on. They are giving up their power to create happiness in their own life right now because they’ve made it dependant upon something that is future based.

The book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff” by Dr. Richard Carlson is one of my all time favourites. This little book is profound in its simplicity and if you haven’t already done so, I’d recommend getting your own copy. The chapters are short and easy to read and it makes so much sense. It’s a great reminder of what is important in life. Some of my favourite chapters are: Chapter 4 – Be aware of the snowball effects of your thinking; Chapter 10 – Learn to Live in the present moment; Chapter 17 – Surrender to the fact that life isn’t fair. If you are experiencing challenges in your life, you’ll be sure to find something in this book that will be enlightening. I wish I could succinctly tell you about all of them in this column.

Life can be challenging. There are those of us who choose to make a big fuss about small things – bit of lint on a counter; a few undone dishes in the sink – the perfectionists among us who feel obliged to focus on insignificant issues. But it’s the rare soul who goes through life problem free. Most of us have experienced some crisis in our lives, and it’s our response to these challenges that can create an opportunity to become a better person. The people who find the strength to move forward have learned that joyfulness comes from within and from being focused on today. We can choose to go through each day and see all the negatives or we can do as Dr. Carlson suggests in his book, and stop focusing on the insignificant things in life. Your happiness lies within and you can experience it now. It’s your choice.

Carole Fawcett is a Stress Management Consultant and Laughter Therapist.
afunnybusiness.ca afunnybusiness.ca

afunnybusiness.ca afunnybusiness.ca

Counseling looks at the specific problem of shopping addiction and creates an action plan to stop the behavior. Targeted counseling for this problem alters the negative actions of the behavior and concurrently works toward healing the underlying emotions, although less emphasis is placed on exploring the emotional significance of the compulsive act than in traditional individual psychotherapy. Counselors who work with shopaholics often refer their clients to traditional psychotherapists when the severity of the related emotional issues goes beyond the expertise of the counselor. With certain clients, the combination of counseling, psychotherapy, and/or Debtors Anonymous goes several steps beyond the work of any one of these methods alone.

Karen McCall of California and Ron Gallen of New York are two counselors with significant expertise in this area: both of have written about it and both train counselors and therapists to do this type of work. McCall has published the Money Minder: Financial Recovery Workbook (2002), an approach for clients to achieve financial success; Gallen elucidates his method in The Money Trap: A Practical Program to Stop Self-Defeating Financial Habits So You Can Reclaim Your Grip on Life (2002). The major premise of counseling for shopaholics is the idea that insight alone will not stop the behavior. All stages in the shopping addiction cycle must be identified—the triggers, the feelings, the dysfunctional thoughts, the behavior, the consequences of the behavior, and the meaning of the shopping addiction. The client needs to learn how to work with each stage in the cycle so that he or she gains more control of the problem. In this sense, counseling for shopaholics is similar to counseling for alcohol and drug abuse. However, recovery from a shopping addiction is different and, in some ways more complicated: with alcohol and drugs, abstinence is the treatment goal, but it is impossible to abstain from buying, from using money.

Counseling for shopaholics sets out to address the entire scope of the problem. It helps the client answer such questions as these:
How and when did the shopping addiction begin?
What form does it take? Is it shopping on the Internet, from catalogues, on TV, in stores? Is it done on holidays? When buying gifts? In the service of a “collection”?
What emotions underlie the shopping addiction? (Boredom? Loneliness? Anger? Anxiety?)
Is it a means to self-soothe?
Is it done to try to enhance self-esteem or feel more socially desirable?
Do you shop to enliven yourself because of an internal feeling of deadness?

Is it a response to a change in another addictive behavior?

The possibilities are endless, because each person’s story is different. The central question, however—and the one that shopping addiction counselors are in a unique position to address—is always the same: what can be done to end the shopping addiction? The counseling process has as its goal to break the cycle of the shopping addiction and to create a workable financial structure, one that will enhance, rather than erode, a client’s quality of life. In order to do this, some of the underlying emotional turmoil must be dealt with, from both historical and current perspectives. There are multiple stages in recovery from shopping addiction, and counseling also has to proceed in a step-wise fashion. Admitting where you stand is the key to recovery. Before any change can occur, the shopaholic must take a long, hard look at his current situation; as with any addiction, denial is almost endemic. What I’ve found useful is to ask my clients to record all of their expenses for a one-month period, whether a fifty-cent tip on a cab ride or a $500 insurance premium. This provides us with some baseline spending data. Once shopaholics have a sense of where their money is going, the next step is to create a spending plan.

An important part of creating and using a spending plan is the distinction between needs and wants. Both are personally determined, but the two occupy different ends of the budgeting continuum. A multi-million dollar mansion and a modest bungalow both fulfill the requirement for shelter. Yet a shopaholic may consider the impressiveness of her home before considering financial reality, while most others would reverse these priorities. “Finances before features” must be the mantra of fiscal responsibility; as long as that’s maintained, there’s no shame in owning a lavish home.

Debt and savings are both needs and cannot be neglected in a spending plan. Your clients may be tempted to pay off as much debt as possible, at the cost of other needs, or perhaps to ignore savings altogether. This is not a balanced solution. To make sure that debt and savings are accounted for, both should be included in the spending plan; a balanced approach to financial recovery is the basis of shopping addiction counseling. Individuals may become frustrated that their debt will not be paid off immediately, but debt repayment is only one aspect of a new financial framework and a more balanced life. While there is an abundance—even an overabundance—of programs for credit counseling, debt consolidation, and repayment, these will not really help a shopaholic. Quick fix debt resolution may get your client out of an individual jam, but it doesn’t address the whole person, the issues and patterns that got them indebted. Only a holistic approach can reduce the likelihood of recurrence.

As the shopping addiction cycle is being broken, the emotions underlying it must be addressed. The underlying pain may result from a variety of conflicting emotions—loss, for example, or anger, jealousy, insecurity. Developmental issues in the family are often relevant. Everyone, after all, is influenced by the way his family handled money. Was it used to assert power? Was it taboo as a subject? Was it used to punish? Exploring the emotional side of the issue can be done within shopping addiction counseling or in traditional therapy. However it is accomplished, the integration of the emotional and behavioral sides is the comprehensive solution needed for lasting recovery.

Shopping addiction counseling is perhaps the most comprehensive approach to treatment, teaming specific behavior-changing techniques with careful attention to the precipitating emotions. It works best in combination with individual psychotherapy or couples or group therapy, as well as participation in Debtors Anonymous. Although not in large numbers, there are now practitioners throughout the country doing this type of work.

April Lane Benson, Ph.D. is a nationally known psychologist who specializes in the treatment of compulsive buying disorder. To receive her 3 Proven Strategies for Stopping Overshopping, visit stoppingovershopping.com stoppingovershopping.com.

This is my belief. It is a belief which serves me well each and everyday that I have the privelige of living on this planet. It is a belief which has kept me going through the dark times in my life and one which inspires me to think great thoughts and dream big dreams.

Some people will be scared of the idea that they really can be all that they dream they can be. Scared? Yes, scared. Why? Because if they accept that they are the creator of their own future then they have to take on the monumental responsiblities known as their lives and destinies. These responsibility can seem overwhelming and frightening and so this causes people to hand over their power to circumstances, events, their past, other people and basically everything else outside of themselves.

Let me re-affirm to you this. There is No Mountain Too High and if you can conceive of it you can achieve it. The first step comes in taking back full resposibility for your own life. Accept you are your own ultimate creator and manifestor. Then reach deep within yourself and dare to dream those dreams that you manifested in this life to achieve. The excitement and exhiliration you will experience will radically alter your whole perception of life. Boundaries will come down, the universe will dance, you will swim in abundance, coincidences will occur and synchronicity become apparent all to help you climb that mountain that you must climb in order to live your destiny.

Upon beginning this journey make sure that you allow your true self’s unwielding determination to flow through your being. This determination will see you through the hardships and times of trial that you must overcome in order to fulfil your life’s purpose.

“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.” Michael Jordan – Greatest Basketball Player Of All Time

I urge you to follow your heart and remember to climb the mountain that you, yourself, deep down inside know you must climb. It is your whole reason for being here. The vista from the crest of the highest mountain is your quest. It will be make every step of the journey worthwhile and then you will know you have created and lived your destiny.

Kenny Lindsay is a passionate believer in self-development. He devotes his free time to running nomountaintoohigh.blogspot.com nomountaintoohigh.blogspot.com which provides readers with inspiration, motivation, great new information and everything they need to take their lives to a new level.

Addictions are a worldwide phenomenon adversely affecting the lives of millions across all geographical boundaries and cultures. At a personal level, people’s lives are destroyed by their addictions and their loved ones also suffer the trauma from the negative ripple effect.

Causes of addictive behaviors according to modern science
There is no consensus as to the etiology, prevention and treatment of addictive disorders. Many people consider addictions as ‘diseases,’ but others consider addictions to be behaviors learned in response to the complex interplay between heredity and environmental factors. Still others argue in favour of a genetic cause. This lack of agreement among experts causes problems with prevention and treatment of much addictive behaviour.

Root cause for addiction according to spiritual research

Spiritual research has documented that 96% of the causes of addiction are spiritual in origin and only 4% of addictions are initiated due to non-spiritual causes in the person itself such as a person’s intense liking for a certain substance or psychological reasons such as tension, anxiety, depression etc.

The spiritual causes of addiction include:
Possession by ghosts (30%)
Possession by subtle bodies of departed ancestors (70%)

The reasons behind possession:
The possession by ghosts or ancestors is mainly to satisfy their own craving for the addictive substance and/or to trouble the person by making him an addict.
Ghosts possess anyone with a mental weakness or vulnerability. The person does not necessarily have to be their descendent
The ancestors possess because of the give-and-take account and the karmic bond between them and their descendent which is a subtle (intangible) doorway that they exploit to possess their descendents and satisfy their cravings through them

Suggested principles in the treatment of addiction obtained through spiritual research

The principle behind any spiritual treatment is to instigate an increase in the basic subtle sattva component in the person along with a concomitant decrease in the subtle basic tama component by doing spiritual practice that conforms to the five basic principles of spiritual practice, done regularly and increased from time to time at a quantitative and qualitative level.

The 3-step Spiritual treatment program for overcoming addictions:-

Repeating the protective chant of ‘Om Namo Bhagavate Vaasudevaaya’ for a minimum of 2.5 hours or 972 repetitions daily.
Repeating the protective chant of ‘Sree Gurudev Datta’ for a minimum of 1.5 hours or 972 repetitions daily.
Salt Water treatment for 15 minutes daily (by placing the feet in a bucket filled with water, add 2 spoons of rock salt to the water)

This can be followed up with reducing the intake of the addictive substance or thing in a phased manner along with any medical treatment that has been prescribed by one’s doctor or psychiatrist.

The highlights and benefits of spiritual healing treatment of addiction:

Minimal cost – cost is mainly in terms of time invested and regularity of effort and for rock salt
Very low incidence of withdrawal symptoms
The spiritual practice increases the tolerance due to increase in sattvikta in the person
Increases our spiritual energy and defense systems against the ghost/departed ancestor thus the person is able to give up the addictive habit immediately
It works both as a treatment to cure addictions and as a preventive mechanism and it takes care of addiction formation as well as relapse too.
The parents can take these 3 steps as a preventive measure while planning to have a baby. Bringing up the child in as sattvik an environment as possible and introducing the child to spiritual practice since early childhood will also help as a preventive measure.
As a preventive measure for people who are not currently addicted

The factors critical for success are

Regularity in spiritual practice of the 3 step spiritual treatment
An intense desire to quit addiction
Strong willpower to do so
Faith in a Higher Power and spiritual practice helps to accelerate the healing process.

Bottom line

Spiritual research on addiction shows that the spiritual dimension has a monopoly on the root causes of addiction and by taking the spiritual dimension into account, people trying to assist in rehabilitation of addicts would have a higher rate of success.

More at: spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/mentalhealth/addiction/ spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/mentalhealth/addiction

What’s holding your team back from experiencing “breakout performance”?

It may be those Old beliefs and Personal Insecurities. (aka: conceptual barriers)

Conceptual barriers are the barriers that are right behind the eyes, DEEP within the brain. “Beliefs” which were planted at a very young age and re-enforced over a long period of time – which is why they are so hard to “dislodge”.

Use the following exercise to help your team members identify their limiting beliefs and feelings. Then explain how those beliefs and feelings directly impact (positively and negatively) their bottom-line results.

Before we proceed, keep the following quote in mind – it’s a powerful reminder of why it is so important to complete sales management activities.

“Successful people DO, what unsuccessful people
are not willing to do.”
– Unknown

Here are the Four Steps to Overcome Conceptual Barriers:

Step One – Uncover Negative Self-Talk

Ask the employee to tell you what he or she “least” enjoys about each step of the sales management process. Follow up by asking how that particular aspect of the process makes the employee feel.

For example:

- Prospecting/Cold Calling – (feels like I am intruding)
- Asking for the Business – (feels like I am being pushy)
- Cross-Selling/Up-Selling – (feels like I am taking advantage)
- Assumptive Closing – (feels like I am being presumptuous)

Step Two – Identify Beliefs that are the root source of negative feelings toward sales management practices.

Go back to our prior examples of Old Beliefs that get in the way of our progress in the sales management process:

- Don’t talk to strangers
- It is impolite to talk about money
- Never interrupt important people
- Wait to be asked

Help the employee understand and be aware of why it is that they may feel the way they do.

Employees should understand that they feel the way they do for a reason. Once they understand this it can be much easier for them to make a decision to overcome their old belief(s).

Step Three – Turn Limiting Beliefs into Unlimited Possibility!

Illustrate the following to your employee so they can clearly see how their beliefs and feelings ultimately “pre-determine” their outcome.

On one hand:

Positive Beliefs » Positive Feelings » Actions » Positive Results

And on the other hand:

Limiting Beliefs » Negative Feelings » Inaction » Negative Results

So based on the preceding, it’s obvious which hand offers the most value – correct?

Step Four – CHOOSE a path together!

Obviously, if an employee is unwilling to work to overcome conceptual barriers, then you should agree that a sales position is not the right fit.

You should either find a more suitable role for the person, or part ways so he/she may pursue a more rewarding opportunity somewhere else.

Let’s assume however that the employee seeks to overcome their conceptual barriers and is willing to take ownership of their plan for improvement.

As the leader, you have an important role to play in your employee overcoming their limiting beliefs. You are responsible for supporting the employee in three key areas. Once again, they are:

- TEACH – lead by example, reinforce positive actions and behaviors

- COACH – help to improve technique, debrief progress, track results, ensure employee stays on task

- EXPECT – inspect what you expect, hold yourself and your employee accountable for continued improvement and increased results.

In conclusion, ask yourself the following question.

Can you name one person who is a top performer that:

- believed he wouldn’t be successful?
- feels she shouldn’t be successful?
- does not take the actions necessary for her to become successful?

The answer to each question? “Of course not!” Right?

So by default we must agree that in order for anyone to be successful, he/she must understand what is holding him or her back.

Then, she must be willing to work to overcome obstacles, and choose to proactively follow a corrective action plan.

Finally, he must “execute” the plan.

Through this process he will build new beliefs that will enable him to discard that old and tired, limiting belief.

Richard Gorham is the founder and President of Leadership-Tools, Inc. His web site, leadership-tools.com leadership-tools.com is dedicated to providing free tools and resources for today’s aspiring leaders. Offering high-quality tools in the areas of Business Planning, Leadership Development, Customer Service, Sales Management and Team Building.

Once upon a time, in ancient India, a beggar favored a certain foot of land in a village square. He wanted to be rich, but he only knew dire poverty. One day he died on the spot where he had been begging for decades. The villagers decided to bury him on the spot where he had spent decades begging. They marveled when they found that only a few feet beneath the surface lay a treasure chest from an ancient kingdom.

This story is a parable.

The meaning is simple. We are looking outward constantly for the means to our salvation. Yet where we stand is hallowed ground, and when we look within we find all that we need to live a full life.

Where we stand is basically who we are. It is our attitude to life.

For every challenge that life offers us, inner resources are available to conquer those obstacles.

In us all is enough determination to overcome any obstacle.

In us all is enough initiative to master a craft or hone a skill that will allow us to pursue the life we want to live.

Yet our greatest hidden treasure, I believe, is our capacity to express love through kindness. A philosophy of kindness creates better friendship, relationships, and peace in the world at large.

In us all is enough love to conquer the world with our kindness and sow the seeds of a great humanity. For as we do unto others, so we receive. And as we do unto others, so too do our intentions ripple out like a pebble cast upon a lake.

Kindness has consequences that are always good. If the recipient of our love does not acknowledge it, it may have appeared as if our action was nullified. Yet an act of kindness vibrates throughout time for the frequency of our intention lingers in the subtle dimensions.

Kindness lingers not only in space and time, as a subtle energy, but deeper still, in our hearts, for we realize our own power to precipitate change for the better.

This intentionality permeates our whole being, for once our heart is opened we heal our hurts and empower our future. Furthermore, when the energy of kindness overflows it becomes a continual blessing to all who meet and greet us in life.

There is a Sanskrit phrase that captures what kindness does: the phrase is “satyam jayante,” which means “truth is victory.”

Kindness is an expression of our truth. And when we express kindness, we have victory over our own wounded past of unkindness shown to us. And if we allow our kindness to expand, it gives us victory over our world.

Kindness blesses all by renewing strength. After it renews our strength, it renews the strength of others. These others then spread the power you have invested in them. Acts of kindness spread

Imagine what would happen if a surge of kindness were to permeate the entire world for a single day. Perhaps, giving a beggar a sandwich in New York might create a chain reaction that results in the handshake between an Israeli and a Palestinian leader in the Middle East. Perhaps, a dollar donated to a Tsunami fund might lower a pistol aimed by an angry man in Iraq. A simple act may have unimaginable consequences. Imagine the ramifications of a World Kindness day!

Resource Box

Saleem Rana got his masters in psychotherapy from California Lutheran University, Thousand Oaks, Ca., 15 years ago and now resides in Denver, Colorado. His articles on the internet have inspired over ten thousand people from around the world. theempoweredsoul.com/enter.html Discover how to create a remarkable life

Copyright 2005 Saleem Rana. Please feel free to pass this
article on to your friends, or use it in your ezine or
newsletter. It’s a shareware article.

Did you know that more than half of our adult population has an anger problem? Have you experienced them? They act all flustered and pitch a fit. Can you believe it that some of them actually throw things when they get mad? And not only that, they cuss up a storm, rant and rave, and carry on like they are a child.

We all have probably experienced people like this on occasion. But what about the people who do this on a regular basis? How do we manage them? How can we confront them in the office space? What if this person is our boss or our partner? We know that they need anger management or counseling, but babies don’t have the ability to see that about themselves. Perhaps passing them this article will help you along!

Okay you people who have an anger issue.. listen up!!! You can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys you; laws, social norms and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take all of us us.

According to my research, “People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive – not aggressive – manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behaviour. The danger in this type of response is that if the anger isn’t allowed an outward expression, it can turn inward – on yourself. This may cause hypertension (high blood pressure) or depression.

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behaviour (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticising everything and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships.

Finally, you can calm yourself down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behaviour but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down and let the feelings subside.” (resource – internet)
If you are a person who is working with a BABY, perhaps you’ll start by having a short conversation just explaining that sometimes he/she is somewhat difficult to talk with because they get so frustrated and act out. Sometimes just calmly stating a fact can be less intimidating than a formal “lets talk about something” kind of meeting.

One client recently was asked by his partner why one of the associates didn’t call her directly. He explained to her that she had a tendency to go overboard with stress and neither had the time to deal with her drama at the moment so she was bypassed in the decision making moment.
Because the conversation took on a sort of apologetic tone, yet, was also explaining the situation, the partner seemed to GET it, that her outbursts had caused more stress on others and not just herself. For the next week, my client has noticed that his partner hasn’t stressed openly and has seemed to get a hold on her anger.

Since my client is on a friendly basis with his partner, I’ve given him some exercises to help his partner get to the root of her anger. While I’m not a therapist, and neither is my client, there are a few exercises that aren’t so intimidating to a person who is willing to explore the original source of their anger.

When the person is obviously upset, ask them to calm down and sit down and agree to talk about it. You can say, “You’re obviously upset. Let’s sit down and discuss what our options are, and just tell me everything”.
Don’t argue. Don’t talk back. Don’t disagree. Just listen. Take notes if you can and just listen intently with your eyes. Try to understand. This is what the person needs, to be understood.

When they are through, ask questions. Ask specific questions to get clarity on the situation. Let them talk until they are through.
Take a minute before you answer. Think about what you are going to say. Start by acknowledging their feelings such as, “I understand why you are so upset. I’m sorry that you are upset. Let me see if I understand how you feel.” Now, read back what you wrote down so they know you understand.
Now, go through your side of the story. (Hopefully without interruptions). Don’t yell or be confrontational. Just explain the other side of the story.

Be careful to pause between listening and talking. Pausing is a great indicator of being thoughtful about what you are listening to and saying. It is a great communication tool!

Regardless of the outcome, you’ve now coached your partner through being able to explain their side of the story without completely exploding. Practice makes perfect. Tell them that they did a good job. Endorse good behavior and encourage them.

Working with a baby is a hardship on many. If you have the guts or the power to tell the person to go get THERAPY, then do it. If that isn’t a possibility, then learning to coach them through dealing with their own emotions may be a logical next step. It’s going to take some energy on your part, but it might save your work environment in the long run.

Having difficult conversations are somewhat stressful, so having a coach to help you through it might be a good next step for you. We can work together to help your partner mature into a thriving adult who expresses his/her feelings in a healthy way.
I don’t know about you, but I think it sounds fun! So don’t cry about it! Just give me a call!

To learn more about Mary go to: marygardner.com/” target=”_blank marygardner.com/

Mary Gardner is an Executive Communications Consultant and Coach. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She enjoys seeing the best come out in people and has fun in the process. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5 and lives in Orlando, FL.

Imagine living in the world that Helen Keller found herself in nineteen months after
arriving on this planet. A world that was dark and silent as the result of a high fever
that eliminated her ability to see and hear. In her autobiography, Helen wrote,
“Then…came the illness which closed my eyes and ears and plunged me into the
unconsciousness of a newborn baby.” By the time Anne Sullivan came along to
teach her, Helen’s ability to communicate was confined to very basic gestures and
sounds.

However, contrary to what circumstances would seem to dictate, Helen Keller went
on to design a life of her own choosing, on levels that took her to positions of
influence and prominence that are rarely reached. Have you ever wondered how
someone born in the small and insignificant town of Tuscumbia, Alabama, without
sight and hearing, learned how to consistently capture the minds and hearts of
those she came into contact with?

Helen Keller left us some clues in her autobiography! She wrote, “Meanwhile the
desire to express myself grew. The few signs I used became less and less adequate,
and my failures to make myself understood were invariably followed by outbursts of
passion. I felt as if invisible hands were holding me, and I made frantic efforts to
free myself. I struggled-not that struggling helped matters, but the spirit of
resistance was strong within me; I generally broke down in tears and physical
exhaustion. After awhile the need of some means of communication became so
urgent that these outbursts occurred daily, sometimes hourly.”

The Right Teacher Makes The Difference. Period.

You can imagine, then, just how pivotal the arrival of Anne Sullivan was to Helen
Keller’s future. Anne Sullivan brilliantly transferred a power to Helen that Helen
would then use to build an extraordinary life. And what was that power?” It was, in
fact, the power of language…the power of language to bring about what we desire.
Ann Sullivan realized that to transform Helen from a little girl full of stress and
struggles into a fully functioning and powerful adult required her teaching Helen
how to communicate in a way that would support her desired outcomes.

Despite the fact that Helen Keller, like all healthy human beings, was capable of
learning anything she desired, her first required step was for her to learn how to
communicate effectively with herself–and those around her. She had to learn how
to use words, and more than just words, to bring her desired future into being.
Helen’s future depended upon her ability to tap into the power of language and
communication. Now, as she learned to do just that, and developed mastery in her
communications, she rose to positions of great influence, power and prominence…
all the while savoring the moments and experiences of her life—a life that she
literally languaged into existence.

And how did Helen come to have such a life? The answer to that partially lies in
understanding that she had a profound desire to learn, and learn, and learn and
learn. And that profound desire led to one thing, and then to another, and then to
another, and then to another, all of which led up to a very remarkable life.

And what does all this have to do with you? With me? Everything…or nothing. It is
our choice. We can open our eyes and ears to learn from Helen Keller, or not. She
faced seemingly insurmountable circumstances, and she simply learned her way
around all of them. And it all began with her learning the power of language–and
how to use language to design and build her desired future, word by word. You and
I can do the same.

Perhaps there have been some things in your life that have not been as enjoyable or
as easy as you would like. Perhaps in the context of your relationships with your
significant other, or your children or your friends. Or in the context of your health,
your career, your dreams, your income, or your overall relationship with yourself.

Why Some Things Are Not Yet Easy And Enjoyable For You

If something has not been easy for you, it is simply an indication of something you
do not yet know! Period. It is an indication that you have not yet learned how to do
“X” easily and enjoyably. Nothing more. So, it is a matter of learning. And unlike
Helen Keller, you probably enjoy the gift of being able to see and hear what is
around you. So, you can learn all you want and do so quite rapidly and naturally.
Believe it or not! Either way, you are using the inherent power of language, are you
not? The power to move you in a certain direction.

The question is, in what direction do you want to move towards? Understanding
that your ongoing communication with yourself and others, how you are languaging
your desires, your hopes and dreams, will determine the direction and pace of your
journey. What questions you ask– and your responses to those questions– give
direction to your brain and your unconscious mind. If you ask yourself, “Why did I
do that?” or “Why am I not further along in my life?” you will be off in a direction
that will take you into more disappointment and frustration.

Instead, you might ask yourself, “How can I get a step closer to my outcome?” or
“What might make it easier and more enjoyable for me to become increasingly
healthy and fit?” “How can I connect more with those I love?” “What does my ideal
job look, feel and sound like?” Asking yourself questions like these give you energy
and build momentum. I imagine that Helen Keller, early on, asked herself why she
became blind and deaf…and I imagine that she learned quickly to ask herself more
useful questions instead. Perhaps questions such as, “How can I capitalize on what I
have?” “What do I want to do with what I have?” “How can I make a contribution to
others?” “How can I serve others and improve their lives, even in a small way?”
Perhaps these are the kind of questions that Helen Keller used to create the future
that she truly desired to live.

Human beings, all of us, have an innate capacity to communicate on the most
powerful levels. What set Helen Keller apart wasn’t only her willingness to learn but
also her discernment in recognizing the great teacher that Anne Sullivan was. The
wisdom that Helen demonstrated in choosing to be Anne’s student is worthy of
consideration. Long before Helen was ready to teach the world, she was ready to be
taught. Helen was a brilliant student long before she was a renowned speaker and
teacher. To get to that point required Helen to exercise patience and wisdom.

The Power of Simple Adjustments
To Change Your Life and Future

Now, what about you? What do you want to learn about the power of language and
how to language your future? You can learn to make a few simple adjustments in
your ongoing communications that will profoundly alter the outcomes you are able
to generate. Adjustments such as using clean language to keep everything that is in
the past…well, in the past. For instance, instead of saying to yourself, “Every time I
make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to yourself, “Up until now, when I
have made presentations at work, I have frozen up.” In the first instance, you
unintentionally would have “re-installed” the beliefs and behaviors that you do not
want. In the second instance, you appropriately recognize that what you have done
in the past is simply what is done and over with. Minimally you allow for the
possibility of something different happening! You make room for what you want.

Another slight adjustment that would give you leverage is to use “cleaner” language.
Instead of saying, “Every time I make a presentation at work, I freeze up,” say to
yourself, “It used to be, that when I made presentations at work, I often didn’t do as
well as I would have liked. I am glad I can learn how to be a more effective
communicator.” Notice how the two different statements generate different internal
experiences for you. And then realize that our internal experiences greatly affect
our external behaviors…and that our behaviors lead to our outcomes.

This Puts The Odds In Your Favor

What might be a likely response if you complained to your significant other, “We
never spend any time together. What is the matter with us?” On the other hand,
communicating what you do want instead is more likely to bring about a desirable
outcome… “I would like for us to spend some more time together this week. How
about going to a movie with me this Friday night?”

When you communicate clearly what you desire– to yourself and others– you put
the odds greatly in your favor of getting what you desire. Most human beings
spend the vast majority of their time thinking about and making mental images of
what they do not want. And then they wonder why they keep getting more of what
they do not want! Our brain and our mind, on conscious and unconscious levels
will move towards the mental images we create. When someone says to themself, “I
just don’t seem to have the money to get ahead,” he or she makes mental pictures
of just that—not having enough money to get ahead–and unintentionally re-
installs the beliefs and behaviors that will create more of the same.

Pay attention to what you communicate to yourself and others because you are
taking it all in unconsciously. More than that, you are literally programming your
future behaviors—the very behaviors that will generate outcomes. Why not decide
now that you will learn how to communicate to yourself and others on levels that
will make it easier and easier for you to generate the rewarding outcomes that you
deserve?

For those of you who want to truly learn how to master the art of languaging your
future, give me a call, or drop me an e-mail at:

I was talking with a friend several years ago and somehow we got on the topic of being willing to do something or willful—doing it one’s way…

When you think about it, these two words—willing and willful—can best describe and define a Christian or non-Christian. Recall when you waned to do something and did it willingly and then recall when you did something and did it, willfully.

Now, think about when you didn’t want to do something but wanted to do it your way—You were willful, right? And, didn’t you probably cause problems wanting to do it your way? Most likely….

Thinking back, there are many examples of pop stars, politicians and others who acted willfully, even spitefully –just so they could have it their way! Family members, myself included, have acted at times, willfully and caused great frustration and anguish.

When I think about how one acts when being willful I think of several adjectives/body languages that describe—selfish, self-centered, mean, negative, cruel—but mostly selfish. The body language would be folded hands in front of the chest, mean look, loud talking, walking away from a conversation and others.

On the other hand, when one thinks of someone acting willingly to help out, to give to others, much different adjectives/behaviors come to mind—kind, helpful, happy, positive, giving and loving. The body language this time would convey a happy countenance, smiling, opened arms, soft conversation and an agreeable attitude.

The Bible presents many examples of “willingness” and “willfulness.” Some examples of willfulness are: 1. When Moses was dealing with the Pharaoh, pleading to let the Israelites leave Egypt. The Pharaoh would not let the Israelites go, and so He and his country endured the plagues which God allowed, hoping to soften his heart and let the people go. .Eventually, he did –after his son died. The Pharaoh, because of his stubbornness allowed himself and his people go through many afflictions—covering of the land with frogs, dust becoming gnats and covering the ground, swarms of flies, swarm of locusts covering the land, venomous snakes and other afflictions.

In contrast examples of willingness show a different way of thinking and acting. Such as from Genesis 23:8 “He said to them, “If you are willing to let me bury my dead, then listen to me and intercede with Ephron son of Zohar on my behalf.”

And from Exodus 35:21: “and everyone who was willing and whose heart moved him came and brought an offering to the LORD for the work on the Tent of Meeting, for all its service, and for the sacred garments.”

And from Exodus 35:29 : “All the Israelite men and women who were willing brought to the LORD freewill offerings for all the work the Lord through Moses had commanded them to do.

Lastly, from Judges 5:2: “when the princes in Israel take the lead, when the people willingly offer themselves—praise the Lord!

What a difference in behavior –willing and willful! And, what a difference in the outcome of such behavior. We see with the Pharaoh that from his willfulness, came death and destruction and from the behavior of the Israelites in wanting and willing to follow God and do what was right, that they were delivered and brought out of bondage and given the opportunity to leave and develop a new and better life…However, unfortunately it took 40 years wandering in the wilderness, because they were willful and abandoned God’s plan and purpose for them….

Then I thought about how I could make my life better and how better to deal with people who are negative and willful. I made up a small list on how I could achieve this. This is what I came up with:

1. When God wants me to do something, even though I don’t want to do it, I need to be open-minded and willing to do what He wants, for He cares about me and wants the best.

2. Be aware of areas in my life where I’m willful—such as overeating, wanting to do thinks my own way, being selfish, not giving to others when they need it.

3. Be more willing—not willful—to pray more, read the Bible more and be aware of areas where the “enemy” might attack—most likely in areas where I’ve had problems/fears before…

4. Lastly, be willing and eager to love God more than anyone or any “thing” on earth. Keep Him #1 always. By doing that I will stay willing to follow God’s plan and this will keep me free and positive!

So, what can you and I glean from all of this? You might think that it’s “hip” to be willful or cruel—that your friends might find it “cool” to be willful.

But, you know what? It might be cool and work for you for awhile— but in the end you’ll be all alone. It is wise, I think, to be “willing” to be agreeable, “willing” to help, “willing” to make a difference—this will lead to a better and longer and happier life and you will find that your life and those around you will be so much brighter, more hope than you can imagine …a newness of life that will be so refreshing…….

Which will you choose?

References:

Biblical references from the Old and New Testaments

Each year the world changes, for the better, or worse. we don’t have any control over what governments or what other people do. Many people fret, freak out and try to worry and change stuff that they simply cannot change, while others change what they can, these people make the world there oyster. Whats the world is for you an oyster or a pot of sower lemons?

This year there will be endless opportunities that you can take, that will make your life and those around you shine. Way up each opportunity, and the costs and benefits, and choose the ones that will make you shine. Keep your eyes open and your ears tuned and be ever on the lookout for good opportunities.

The best way to create the opportunities for yourself is think of what you can actually do for others, to make there world better. If your the person that sits back and waits for the world to do something for you than I don’t want to disappoint you, but generally speaking what effort you put is in relation to what you will get in return. Some of the wealthiest people on earth are doing something to help others, some of them million’s of people are benefited because of them.

How to help a million of people, its easy. Just help one, than another and so on. If you help just one person and they help 10 haven’t you helped 12. I say 12 because don’t you get a buz and a kick out of life? It puts you in a good state of mind, which helps yourself.

You get what you focus on! if you focus on the good things in the world and not the bad you will have a much better outlook on life, become more positive and other people love people that are positive and fun rather than negative. People love people that help them become positive and get things done.

This year lets help each-other, lets make our world a better place – in return the world will become a better place.

Neville Grundy

Blog: nevillegrundy.wordpress.com nevillegrundy.wordpress.com
Webpage : grundyit.com grundyit.com