1. Count: Find a quiet and comfortable place to sit. Then take several slow, deep breaths to help clear your mind. Now continue breathing and repeating the word “one, two, three … ” to yourself as you exhale. Practice this for two to three minutes once or twice a day. You should definitely find your stress levels dropping.

2. Time it out: Known to ease out anxiety and lower blood pressure and heart rate, music is an old but tried and true stress buster. While slow music or soothing instruments typically yield the best results, choose a style you enjoy. Make it something that grabs you and takes your focus off your worries.

3. Take a walk: Any exercise, even a leisurely 30 minute walk or bike ride, can reduce stress. While you are exercising, do not let yourself think of anything that upsets you and causes stress. Rather, focus on what you are doing; the health benefits you are achieving. If you are taking a walk, look around at the scenery, if on a treadmill or stationery bike, put on some headphones with your favorite music. Whatever you do for your mind, do not let it worry!

4. Write it out: Put the details of a stressful event down on paper. This may help unburden your mind as well as your body. Take 20 minutes a day, for three days and use that time to write about a stressful event in your life. Do not worry about spelling or style; just focus on getting it off your mind. When you are done with this, tear up your troubles and throw them out.

5. Try an over-the-counter remedy: Siberian ginseng is an herbal remedy available in health food stores and most pharmacies. It is great for bolstering the body against every day stress. Take 100mg in capsule form, three times a day for six months, followed by one dose a day for two months. Make sure the capsules standardize to one percentage eleutherosides to ensure you get enough of the active ingredient of the herb. Please note, however, if you are one who is sensitive to drugs and herbs, forget this suggestion or check with your doctor first.

6. Customize your workspace: One quick and easy way to ease workday tension is to make your desk or office feel more like home. Display snapshots of your last family vacation. Hang pictures or postcards of artwork or scenes you enjoy. Buy some fresh flowers and put them on your desk. These personal touches can help you relax even on your busiest day.

Name: Leena Barnes

Website: Our Fitness.com

Url: our-fitness.com our-fitness.com

After the death of a loved one some families make quilts from their loved one’s clothes. Other families compile memory books. I did something different for my family; I made a memory cook book. After my mother-in-law died my sister-in-law and I looked through her old recipe box. Actually, there were four boxes, and the recipes inside were grouped loosely into categories.

There were hand-written recipes, lots of newspaper and magazine clippings, and many duplicates. We threw out the duplicate recipes and saved family favorites – recipes that grandchildren and great grandchildren would enjoy. Reading the recipes brought back memories of family picnics, holiday dinners, and snacks Nana prepared for her three growing boys.

I typed the recipes (one per page) and compiled them in a three-ring notebook. The title of the book: “Favorite Recipes From Nana’s Recipe Boxes.” For the cover I used holiday stationery with a candy cane border. Each cover had a photo of Nana on it. To protect the recipes from splatters and drips I put them in plastic notebook sleeves. There were only 25 recipes so I didn’t index them. However, I did write a short introduction and it contained a story that is still clear in my mind.

Nana served Sunday dinner at 1 p.m. After one dinner she announced that supper would be cake and ice cream. I laughed because I thought Nana was kidding. But Nana, the only person I have ever known who would eat cold butter rolled in sugar, had a sweet tooth, and supper was just as advertised. We had huge bowls of French vanilla ice cream and hefty slices of yellow cake with Penuche frosting. What a memory.

Because the cook book was a glimpse of family history, I typed the recipes as Nana wrote them, including abbreviations such as “refrig” for refrigerator, and references to family members and friends. I grouped the pages into sets, put the pages in the notebooks, and tucked rubber spatulas inside. Then I wrapped the books in holiday paper and ribbon, and tied measuring spoons to each one.

So much love had gone into the cook books that I could hardly wait to give them to family members on Christmas morning. A few fancy gifts were exchanged , but my homemade gifts were the hit of the day. Family members told Nana stories as they paged through their cook books. If you are looking for a meaningful way to remember a loved one, think about compiling a memory cook book.

Your cook book will spark stories about the meals you have shared, and link the older generation with the younger. I didn’t have time to put more photos in the books, but a photo on each page would make the cook book extra special. Now you are probably wondering about the recipes. My favorite recipe is the one for fudge. Though I don’t make fudge, I love the ending. Here is the recipe, just as Nana wrote it so many years ago.

NANA’S FUDGE 1920

2 c. sugar

3/4 c. milk

2 sq. chocolate

1/2 t. salt

1 T. butter

1 t (teaspoon) vanilla
nuts

Mix and cook all ingredients except vanilla & nuts. When it boils up once lower the heat to a slow boil. After 5 min. begin testing for the soft ballstage (1/2 4sp. fudge in a saucer of ice water.)

When you can pick up a soft ball in 3 fingers it’s ready. Cook it 1 minute more. Remove from stove and cool completely before stirring. Add vanilla and nuts and beat until it looks [like] it’s glass and begins to set. Pour into a small square cake pan.

Cut when hard. (If it gets too hard add a few drops of cream at the end of beating.) Cut, enjoy. Save some for mother and dad. Be a good scout and clean up the kitchen afterwards.

Copyright 2006 by Harriet Hodgson

harriethodgson.com harriethodgson.com
healthwriter.blogspot.com healthwriter.blogspot.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a nonfiction writer for 28 years and is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Before she became a health writer she was a food writer for the former “Rochester Magazine” in her hometown of Rochester, MN. Her 24th book, “Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief,” written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from amazon.com amazon.com. A five-star review of the book is posted on Amazon. You will find another review on the American Hospice Foundation website under the “School Corner” heading.

The Holiday weekend is quickly approaching, and everyone is busy getting ready for it. Sometimes though, it seems like things are going too fast; you’re racing around with too many thoughts going through your head and it’s impossible to keep track of all the things that need to be done.

If this is happening to you, use these three tricks to help get back on track.

Plan Ahead: Even if you’re behind, it doesn’t do any good to run around in circles! When you start doing too many things at once and find yourself going crazy, just sit down for a moment with paper and pen and write down all the things that need to be done. Then, decide what order you are going to do them.

Then, take one more look at the list and make another decision –take those things that really don’t matter off the list. There is only so much time in a day, and it should be planned wisely. This will keep you on track – even if only for a moment.

Keep this list handy and when things start getting into your head again; write them down. Getting them onto paper will help you remember to do them, and it will also save your mind from trying to remember them.

Say No: The older I get, the more I find myself doing the same things I do every year. And, even though I keep adding things to the list from past years, I find it hard to stop doing the things that have become a tradition. Get better at saying NO! There is really no need to carry EVERY tradition along every year.

An alternative to saying no, is to try to combine a few things. Instead of going out with each friend individually, have a little get-together your house for all your friends. That will get everyone in the Holiday spirit!

This would also be a good time to mention that since everyone is enjoying the moment, it’s not necessary to get a bunch of gifts. As much as I enjoy getting gifts, the stress of shopping for others is just too much sometimes. Value time with friends instead of material items for once, and see if it doesn’t make a big difference in your stress level.

Lastly: Have Fun! The holidays should be a time for relaxing with family and laughing a little! Even as you’re getting ready, put on some Christmas songs and sing along as you work. It makes those chores seem much lighter, and sometimes they get done before I’m done singing!

Evelyn Grazini is the Author of Directed Dreaming, Success From the Subconscious. Her specialty is Self-Help information including Dreaming, Hypnosis and Stress Relief. Her writings effectively condense volumes of professional research into one succinct resource. Free Reports at:
reawakener.com” target=”_blank reawakener.com

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow. So said a fortune cookie once found by researcher Carol Tavris, who writes on the expression of anger. It turns out that this is good advice—both when you apply it to yourself and when you’re trying to de-escalate someone else’s intense emotion.

Thanks to the past decade’s work on emotional intelligence and research on the brain, we now understand that two common attitudes about anger are more myth than good practice. Venting anger, instead of being cathartic, actually heats us up more. As Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman has said, “Anger builds on anger.” On the other end of the continuum is the attitude that anger can be controlled or prevented. While there are strategies that can help reduce volatile anger, we now know that anger and rage are some of the most difficult emotions to control because of our brains’ emotional circuitry.

Not coincidentally, dealing with your own and others’ anger is one of the most frequent fears I hear expressed by my mediation clients before we sit down together. People sometimes say, “I’m afraid of her anger” or “I’m worried I’ll make things worse if I lose my temper.”

If you are someone who is uncomfortable with others’ overt anger or whose work puts you regularly in front of potentially angry people, then here are some strategies I recommend from my mediator’s toolbox. These are strategies informed by the most recent research on emotion and by the experience of using them regularly.

Short-circuit the anger with what’s called “mitigating self-talk.” People often ask me how mediators can stand people’s intense anger. I differentiate someone yelling at me from someone yelling toward me. By knowing this, I’m less tempted to fan the flames with my own defensiveness or blame, and I’m better able to keep my balance. In effect, I’m defusing the anger by not engaging it. So, instead of saying, “You can’t talk that way to me,” instead try to…Acknowledge and empathize. As hard as it sounds to feel empathy for someone who’s acting badly in front of you, it now appears that the instinct for empathy may actually be hard-wired in our brains. Build on that instinct by acknowledging their emotional state and needs, rather than figuratively pushing back or focusing too quickly on problem-solving. Say to the other person, “I see how frustrating this is for you” or “I’m sorry this has been so aggravating.”Listen to understand. In conflict, most of us have learned to listen in order to respond, debate, judge or convince. I call it “listening with your answer running.” Yet, one of the reasons people get loud during conflict is that they don’t feel heard. Set aside, for the moment, your desire to defend, tell or fix the situation and listen with one intention: To fully understand. Say something like, “Tell me more.”If nothing else has worked yet, take a time out. Recent research confirms that this remains a highly effective strategy in the face of rage. But there are two key conditions: First, the time shouldn’t be used to brood about your anger, because such brooding in effect allows anger to build on anger. So, the time out should include a distraction from the anger, something that pulls your attention elsewhere. Second, if you’re not the one who’s enraged and you’re suggesting a time out, it’s important to communicate that you’re not dismissing the other person—that only stokes the anger. Instead of saying, “I think you need to take a time out, “ say something like, “I think we’d both benefit from a break to get our bearings, and then I’d like to continue this conversation.”When faced with an angry person, you do your best for them and for yourself when you can find ways to see the equal human in front of you. There’s a big difference between someone who is a jerk (as in, always and forever, which is rarely the case) and someone who’s acting lilke one in a bad moment.

Copyright © 2004 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

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Dr. Tammy Lenski is the author of lenski.com/ I Can’t Say That!, a popular blog read by women all over the world. A professional mediator, conflict management coach and educator, Tammy works personally with women who want to keep their balance in conflict and step up to the conversations that really matter.